White Blank Page
by lostinwriting23
Summary: Rick and Kate found out each other's secrets and they're trying to work through to something more. But some murders are taking their toll on the duo. Can they protect each other long enough to figure out what they are...
1. Chapter 1

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Okay, I caved to my own desires. I'm writing a new story. It's set some time after Pandora. So in this story line, Castle and Beckett have found out each others secrets but they're at some kind of weird place of what are we, how do we do this, etc. **

**So Hope you like it. Please, please, please review if you get the chance. I'm not sure how I feel about the 3rd person. I'm a first person type of gal so this is new for me. **

**I was listening to White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons and it seemed to fit what I wanted here thus the name.**

**I'm not sure when I'll get to update again. My internet's been out since Friday but I came to a coffee shop to post this. Hopefully it'll be up soon. I already have about half of the next chapter so… **

**Anyway, feedback/reviews are ALWAYS appreciated. **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

**CHAPTER 1**

The crime scene instantly made her stomach ache. She wasn't halfway to the body before foreboding and inexplicable anxiousness washed over her. It was too early, too cold, and everything just felt wrong. Castle instantly noticed the change in her, the stiffening of her back and shoulder, and stepped closer unconsciously, offering silent support.

"You okay?" he murmured.

"Fine," she replied obligatorily.

Kate didn't expect what she found 20 steps later.

"Jolene Bakemen. 48." Lanie was subdued as she gave the report, trying to gauge her friend's reaction, "Multiple stab wounds, mostly to the chest. Liver temp suggests time of death between seven and ten last night."

Beckett barely heard the ME though. She was transported back 13 years. Back to waiting with her father for her mother at the diner. Back to coming home to find Detective Raglan waiting for them. Seeing his mouth move and hearing the words but not really comprehending the words, because her mother could NOT be dead.

This woman, Jolene, was her mother's mirror. Tall, pale, with wavy dark hair. She wore a nice shirt and carried a brief case. Her body was propped in a secluded part of an ally, surrounded by trash and a dumpster, and yet her face hadn't taken on a completely pained expression after her horrific death. Somewhere, beneath it, peace had somehow come to her.

"Beckett?" Lanie's worried voice ripped Kate from her thoughts and she turned to face her. There was a flash of red, and Kate noticed Alexis working swiftly behind Lanie but glancing over every so often, at the trio gathered around the body.

"Yeah, 7 to 10 last night. Thanks. Anything else?" Something warm touched her back and without looking she knew it was Castle. But she couldn't turn. Couldn't look at him because she knew that if she _did _turn and look at him, the roiling emotions that were barely being suppressed under the surface could break free and she would be incapable of doing her job. No. She needed to keep herself in check. Separate this case from her mother's because they weren't the same. They _weren't._

Lanie crouched down by the body, pointing out details that Kate barely listened to, try as she might. She did step away from Castle's hand to kneel in an effort to get a different perspective.

Ryan and Esposito strolled over, giving her details about Bakeman's family and job, but it sounded like she was hearing it from underwater. Vaguely, she was thankful for Castle's presence. She knew he'd remember the facts that she was failing to grasp.

"Yeah uh… okay. Ryan, you contact next of kin and Espo can you canvass businesses nearby, find out if anyone saw something?"

The boys nodded but exchanged loaded glances with Castle. They all knew this case was seriously wrong with Beckett. Castle just nodded subtly at them, silently promising to take care of her. The other two left, albeit reluctantly.

Kate turned, after a quiet thanks to Lanie and a request to call her if anything new popped, and headed for the car, Castle in tow.

They got in and she started it mechanically, pulling smoothly into the light 5 AM traffic. The car was like ice. _Well not exactly like ice…_ she mused, suppressing a shudder at the thought, _but it really is cold. _She reached for the temperature dial just as Castle reached for the tepid coffee that he'd left in the car. Their finger bumped and electricity shot all the way from her fingertips, up her arm, and settled somewhere just beneath the puckered scar in the middle of her chest.

She pulled back slowly, letting her fingers trace over the back of his hand. It was soft and warm and she almost immediately missed the contact when she replaced her hand on the grossly hard and frigid steering wheel.

Things with Castle, over the last several weeks had spun out from a fragile, but comfortable pattern of ignoring and pretending to wholly uncharted territory. She'd come across his murder board one day, completely unintentionally, after inadvertently leaning against the remote on his desk while she waited for him to dress in the other room for an early morning body call. He'd found her, stricken and horrified staring at the intricate web of pictures, evidence, and unanswered questions. He'd tried to explain but didn't get very far. She didn't yell at first, just asked her questions in a venomously controlled voice. After a few meek answers from him though, she'd started shouting.

She was not proud of what she'd said, by any means. They'd been doing so well and then suddenly everything had been pulled out from under her and she was in free fall. She yelled at him to never come near her or the precinct ever again.

That mandate had lasted barely 36 hours ( She felt miserable and guilty and she missed him far more than was rational) before she was tentatively knocking on his door.

XXX

_"Can I come in?" She was quieter than he was used to._

_ Mutely he nodded, taking in the sight of her. Though it had barely been more than a day, she looked thinner, like she hadn't eaten. Her eyes were sunken and there were ill disguised purple crescents under her almost gold eyes. _

_ "How… uh. How are you?" He was grasping at straws he knew but he had to say something._

_ "Fine." She answered upon habit._

_ "Kate." _

_ "No look..." She ran a hand through her already messy hair and looked like she wanted to burst into tears, "Just… Just listen before you say anything. I haven't been at all fair to you. And you deserve that."_

_ "Okay, Kate-"_

_ "Just let me get this out, please."_

_ He nodded again, giving her control of the situation, as always, and backing away to sit on the couch. She sank into the arm chair to his right only to stand back up and begin pacing. _

_ "I don't even know how to start," she was talking to herself more than him, "not without making you completely hate me."_

_ "I could never ever hate you, Kate." The sincerity in his voice made the guilt roiling in her stomach twelve times worse._

_ "I wouldn't be so sure about that," she whispered. Before he could respond to that she sucked in a breath and started._

_ "I lied."_

_ "About?" he was completely oblivious. God, she was a horrible person._

_ "I lied about after I was shot. When I told you I didn't remember I lied. I remember everything."_

_ Everything behind Castle's eyes, the light, the warmth, the understanding, the curiosity, the _love,_ went out. Disappeared like she had snuffed out a candle. _

_ "What?" It was a strangled whisper, like he was choking on air._

_ She almost couldn't speak for the pain she could see she was causing him. It went straight through her, spearing her heart, sucking the air from her chest,, "I remember you tackling me and what you said to me and…"_

_ "Kate please." He was begging her to stop, to end the pain._

_ A tear escaped her control, "I wanted to say it too but… then I saw you and the hospital and Roy was dead and my mother's killer was still out there. I needed to time and space to breathe, figure things out, not get anyone else sucked down with me."_

_ "And I would have given you that. You know that." He sounded angry. _

_ "I know. I know and I'm so sorry."_

_ Castle stood and brushed past her, tugging on his hair, "So… so this whole time you knew and you didn't say anything?"_

_ Her silence was answer enough for him. _

_ "God, Kate. I." his voice was louder than normal, "Why can't you trust me? I've been here for years. _Years._ and you still don't trust me! I don't know what to do, Kate. I said always and god damn it I mean it!"_

_ "I know!" She was at a loss. He paced back and forth before her, uttering noises incongruous words of frustration and confusion and hurt._

_ After several moments she turned away from him, towards the door, "I'm gonna go." _

_ "Oh nice, Kate, just ru-" he snarled, getting worked up again._

_ "No, Castle, I'm not running away. It's obvious you need time and space," she tried not to sound hurt or angry; she knew she didn't have the space to be, but she'd never seen him like this. It was a painful realization, figuring out that this was her fault. She'd made him like this._

_ "I'm not running away," she reiterated, "I'm giving you what I know you'd have given me if I'd let you have the chance. So, when you want to talk or anything, any time, come find me. I'll be there." _

XXX

He'd lasted even less time than she had, barely 12 hours. He appeared at precinct, sleep deprived, disheveled, scared, but calm and ready to talk. As luck would have it, they'd completed their case the previous day. Castle and Beckett had spent over an hour in the break room sorting things out, explaining, recovering from the hurt. Knowing 'Mom' and 'Dad' were discussing things of a private, delicate nature, Ryan and Esposito quickly positioned themselves at both doors of the break room, barring anyone from bursting in and shattering the atmosphere and trying not to listen too closely.

That was how they'd ended up at their crazy stale mate. Both desperately wanted to be together but some unknown force was holding them back.

"Kate."

"Vic worked at a law office, yeah?" she interrupted, knowing the tone in his voice, and what he was heading towards.

He sighed, knowing that she was heading him off, but let it slide, "Yeah… yeah Ryan found an ID in her brief case." Almost unconsciously he laid an arm across the side of her seat. Not touching her per say, but close enough for his hand to brush her shoulder every time the car bounced over the road.

XXX

They made it back to the precinct before the boys and Kate started to set up the board, keeping her eyes on the photos in her hand. Castle watched her for a moment then, sighing, he made his way to the break room, knowing the detective would need a caffeine boost before long.

Beckett barely noticed, staring at the murder board, photos from the crime scene, still trying to separate the case from her mother's but the whole thing made her stomach churn. It might as well have been the shuttered window in her apartment.

This woman had a family, a life, a job, maybe even children. As kids crossed her mind, Kate clenched her fists. Those kids, her husband, if she had them, were going to be ripped apart. Would the husband drown his sorrows in the bottle? Would the kid have to move back to take care of her father, while she herself struggled not to succumb to the undertow of her mother's murder? Or would it end worse?

Kate was up and trying not to sprint to the women's locker room before she was even aware of her actions. The room was mercifully empty, smelling of sweat masked by perfume as usual, and she gripped the sides of the sink, unreasonable panic taking her over.

What if she couldn't solve this case? What if Bakemen's kid (she still wasn't sure one even existed but if one did…) went down a dark path, changed fundamentally, became like her, closed off, slow to trust, scared to love, all because Kate couldn't bring the killer to justice?

The though made her body wrench, heaving. Nothing but a mouthful of bile came up. She hadn't had anything to eat since much earlier the day before. Disgusted, she ran the water, washing away the fluid, but the retching pulled at her scars miserably. She pressed a hand over her chest and sank to the floor between two sinks, the water still running. She knew that sitting there wasn't doing anything for anyone but she couldn't breathe. Her lungs were constricted like metal bands being pulled tighter and tighter around her chest.

The door swung open tentatively and Kate tried to suck in a breath forcing herself to her feet.

"Beckett?" Castle poked his head around the door. The caring in his voice clenched her gut again and she turned back to the sink, heaving dryly.

He was at her back in seconds, "Kate, what-"

"Get out of here, Castle. This is the women's room." She choked out again, bent double over the sink.

"What happened?" he asked, ignoring her order and squeezing her shoulder as another tremor subsided.

"Just something I ate yesterday," she responded wildly.

" That's bull shit. We ate the same thing yesterday, Beckett." Castle slid closer to her and she tried to shrug him off.

"I'm fine, Castle, just leave me alone." She did _not_ want him to see her like this, breaking apart, weak. She could pull herself up by her own bootstraps. This wasn't his problem to fix.

"Like hell." She heard him mutter but closed her eyes as she choked again, bent double over the sink.

Something cool and wet smoothed over the back of her neck. Contrastingly, a warm hand came to settle on her hip, "Shh. It's okay."

"I'm fine," She gasped, finally uncurling aching fingers from around the sink basin and trying to tug out of his grip. The cold wetness on the back of her neck disappeared and she heard Castle toss something into the trash can. Instead of checking out what it was, she ground her teeth and forced the tremors and choking to cease. Sucking in a deep breath and wiping away the tears (that were _only_ a direct result of the choking) she started to walk away. It was time to get back to the case.

Castle stopped her with a hand around her thin wrist.

"Let me go, Castle." She continued to walk but he gave her arm a gentle pull and she stumbled back.

"No, Kate, look at me for just a sec."

"No, Castle, I gotta get back to the-"

"Kate." His hand was at her cheek, pushing away the hair that had come loose of her bun and fallen into her eyes.

"It's not her. Okay?"

"I know it's not her." Her bravado slipped and she cursed herself. His thumb caressed her cheek and she shuddered under his hand.

"I know you know, but…"

"What if I can't solve this one, Castle? What if she has a kid and-"

"We are going to solve this, Beckett. Like always. You, me, the boys, Lanie. We're going to bring this psycho to justice, okay? And the kid will be fine. We don't even know if she has one. But we'll make sure they're okay, alright?" his finger glanced over her cheek bones before gently forcing her chin so she could look at him. Unconsciously, Kate leaned into the pressure.

Blood gushing through her ears, roaring really. Her emotions were so conflicting. Terror, anger, sadness, _love._ And Castle was there through all of it, anchoring her.

So she nodded, cursing this new found weakness. They stayed there for a while, Kate leaned against the wall, Rick, with one hand on her cheek, the other rubbing small circles over the back of her hand, soothing her as she'd never allowed him to do before, waiting until they were both ready to go out and face the case.


	2. Chapter 2

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**So here's the second part. I had a bunch of trouble finishing this chapter. I have things planned out, this one just wouldn't come out. I'm not sure how I feel about it still. But here it is. And I'm getting started on this chapter so PLEASE let me know what you think? I'm not quite sure if I'm gonna finish this… 3rd person's harder than I anticipated. **

**Anyway, feedback/reviews are ALWAYS appreciated. **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

**CHAPTER 2**

They'd barely even begun looking at the evidence before the second call came. Another homicide, 8th and Lex. Kate was reluctant to leave the first murder behind but something in the dispatch operator's voice made her feel like it was a necessary sacrifice. They drove to the scene in near silence. Rick hadn't stopped watching her since the whole scene in the bathroom and she was starting to regret letting him see her like that.

"You're staring at me," she groused, tightening her hands on the wheel.

"You're worth staring at," he shot back without missing a beat. She was surprised by that. Usually he just made up some awkward excuse and looked away but something had clearly changed.

"Well… stop. It's creepy."

Castle chuckled quietly and was glad when he noticed the slight cant to her lips. Unthinkingly, he reached for the radio dial, searching for something other than NPR. Her thin hand reached out and snapped the back of his.

He snatched his hand back, rubbing where she'd lashed him, "Ow! Jeez, Beckett."

"What's gotten into you today, Castle?" She half laughed, "First the staring, then messing with my radio… I'm just waiting for the fidgeting to start." But secretly, she was glad of his annoying behavior. He was distracting her, trying to take her mind off of things. She was pretty sure that was the reason for him acting the way he was. And she was eternally grateful

They pulled up to the crime scene and exited the car quickly, Kate in the lead. Instantly, the same sensation of foreboding overcame her and she glanced around the crime scene. Everyone was a little more subdued, meaning that the victim was probably on the young end of things. Damn it. These cases took a toll on everyone.

But it was Lanie's face that solidified Kate's worries. The shock and sadness was

finely etched on her friend's face and as Kate watched, the ME flicked her eyes from the body, to Castle, shaking her head imperceptivily. Beckett's eyes jumped to the body and her stomach plummeted. Damn it. Castle could _not _see this.

She turned just before the yellow tape, blocking Castle's view and startling him to a halt, "Go home, Castle."

"What? Beckett, if this is about the staring or the radio or whatever, I swear I'll-"

"No, it's not about that. You just… you don't need to see this one." She was trying so hard to save him the heart ache, protect him from the panic that would surely over take him the moment he laid eyes on the body but he would have none of it.

"Come on, Beckett I've seen bodies before," and with a cocky jolt, he feinted right and went left, spinning around her (pleasantly surprised to find it had worked) and ducked under the tape. Where he promptly stopped dead, staring at the pavement, face quickly draining of color.

Kate was at his side as he struggled to draw breath.

"Alexis?" he wheezed, abject terror claiming his splotchy face. His head swiveled wildly around the crime scene, searching for his daughter.

Because the girl on the ground was her spitting image. A long, thick mane of vibrant red hair, contrasting sharply with stark white skin. Thin, long and lean. Just looking at her made Kate's heart flipflop with fear. She couldn't imagine how Castle was feeling. But there were subtle differences, a large freckle near her left eye, calloused hands, arms too muscled, so that, upon closer examination, it was clear that this girl wasn't Alexis, as similar as they may appear.

Kate shot Lanie a slightly panicked look and glanced at Castle. Lanie gave her a look that clearly said _Duh, get him out of here!_ And Kate grabbed his wrist to yank him back under the yellow tape.

"Castle, look at me." She stared up into his face and waited until he turned to look at her. Tears had welled up in his crystalline eyes and she gritted her teeth to keep her own at bay, "It's not her. Alexis is safe."

"Then where-" he was spinning out¸ shaky hands, eyes dilating, a thin sheen of sweat developing on his forehead. Kate reached forward and snagged his hands in hers.

"She's at home. Lanie sent her home." A glance at the ME told her she'd made the right assumption.

"But what if she was taken on the way there or else-" his voice wavered he had her fingers in a death grip.

"I made her call me as soon as she got home." Lanie swooped in to Kate's aid, "Hell, I made her hold the phone up when she locked the door so I could hear it click. She's safe, Writer Boy. I wouldn't let anything happen to your girl."

"Thanks Lanie." He sighed in relief, leaning against the brick façade of the shop near the alleyway where the body was found. His grip didn't loosen on Kate's hand and she made no move to pull away. She was pulling down her wall. She swore she was and this was part of it, physical contact, touching him, letting him need to touch her. She could handle that.

"Rick, go home. See your kid. I'll call you when we have a lead on the Bakeman Case if you still want in on it."

He looked up at her, half pleading, "Come to the loft tonight. Eat dinner, rest."

"Castle, I can't, I've gotta work on the case."

"So bring it with you. I'll make sure Lex doesn't see what she shouldn't and we can work on it. Please."

Beckett ran her free hand through her hair and tugged on the end of her scarf. Breaking down the wall. Letting him in. _Come on, Kate, you can do this._

"Yeah, okay, I'll try, Castle. If there are no suspects to interrogate or anything like that, I'll be there, okay?"

"Thank you, Kate," he sighed.

"Go home, Rick. I'll see you later." She squeezed his hand then detangle their fingers.

Lanie watched the whole exchange, trying to control a triumphant smirk at the hand holding, Kate taking care of Writer Boy in his panic. She'd been pulling for them since… well not day one but pretty soon thereafter. Kate needed someone like him in her life, child-like, a little obnoxious, but so essentially good and caring. Yin and Yang. It was finally progress.

Kate ducked back under the yellow tape that Officer Johnson was holding up for her. She shot him a nod of thanks and then began the process of separating this girl from Alexis.

"Sooo?" Her friend's voice interrupted.

"What, Lanie?"

"Since when do you guys do that at a crime scene?"

"Do what?" Kate didn't look away from the girl, trying to find more differences. Different nail polish color, orange instead of bright blue, a larger nose. This wasn't Alexis.

"The comforting and the hand holding thing!" Lanie burst out quietly.

"The vic looks like his daughter! What do you want me to do, make him stay on the case?" Beckett was avoiding Lanie's question and she knew it. She didn't even know what was going on, much less enough to tell anyone!

Thankfully, the ME let it drop, "Okay. Vic is Alahnis Cardell, 18. Based on levidity, I'd say time of death is between three and five this morning."

"When we were at the other crime scene." Kate murmured.

"Yeah. Now cause of death would most likely be strangulations from the ligature marks on her neck. Won't know for sure until I get her back to the lab."

"Thanks, Lanie." Kate stood and searched the crowd for Ryan and Esposito who appeared at her side almost instantly.

"Hey so, as far as we've found, no one saw anything on this murder or the Bakeman case," Esposito supplied quickly.

Noticing their boss's irritation, Ryan jumped in, "But we did find security camera in front of two of the stores near here and the Bakeman crime scene. We might be able to get tapes from both and look through them."

"Then go ahead and do that," She snapped unintentionally. They didn't bat an eye just nodded and turned to go.

"You got it, boss."

XXX

The day was absolute hell. Kate set up a second murder board for Alahnis Cardell and was promptly called away to back to back interviews with the families of their victims.

Jolene Bakeman had had a husband and (Beckett's stomach plummeted when she saw) a daughter, who was at most 21. They'd clung to each other, both fighting tears as they staunchly denied the possibility of _anyone ever_ wanting to hurt Jolene. Everyone at her law firm had loved her, there was no familial discontent, no monetary troubles, no unsavory connections from the past that either the husband or the daughter knew about. Their lives had been happy and carefree. The father had lost it then, turning to pull his daughter close. Kate had left them in peace, fighting off her own memories.

Alahnis Cardell's family interview hadn't gone any better. Her father was remarried to a woman he'd met several years previously but they were all adamant that they were a family and an close knit one at that. That Alahnis had been almost inseparable from her step mother and new little sister (who was fast asleep in a carrier at her mother's feet) and that she would have told them if anything had been the matter. Alahnis' stepmother had to quiet her husband, hold him, when he broke out into a rage, demanding who would do such a thing to his daughter, that she'd never hurt any one. Kate had no answer to that. She simply sat there and listened to the family cry, silently promising herself that she wouldn't rest until these cases were closed.

After the heart wrenching interviews, Beckett took a moment to herself. The physical sickness that had plagued her earlier threatened to take over again but she forced it down. This wasn't about her. It was about these families, these now broken families getting peace and justice. Taking a deep breath and clenching trembling hands, she ambled into the bullpen and over to Ryan's desk where he and Esposito were pouring over the tapes.

"Anything?"

Both shook their heads, not taking their eyes off of the screen.

Kate sighed, knowing that she hadn't expected much, "Okay, well keep looking just in case."

She spent the next three hours looking over the victim's relationships, delving into their lives, seeing if there was any kind of connection but there was nothing. She had long since sent Esposito and Ryan home, since they'd found nothing on the tapes and were basically running on coffee and an hour nap. Ryan hadn't seen Jenny in a couple of days and knowing him, it was killing him to stay away from her for so long. Espo had slunk off muttering something about Thai food, but Beckett knew that he was almost certifiably going to see Lanie. She sighed and started going over the cases again.

It was almost nine before Castle called her, "That's it, Beckett, I'm cutting you off. Get out of the precinct and come over."

"Castle, I can't. I need to finish going over these papers." _For the third time…_

"So bring them with you. We can set up a mini murder board and eat and rest and…"

"Okay okay." She grumbled, just to shut him up, "I'll be there soon."

"Good."

"Alexis okay?" she mumbled, closing the case files and sticking them in her purse.

"Fine. I… Sorry for bailing on you this afternoon."

"Shut up. You didn't. I'll see you soon."

She hung up and swung her jacket over her shoulders and headed for the elevator.

It wasn't Castle who answered the door when she knocked, but Alexis. As soon as she saw the young woman, Kate felt a part of the tension that had been knotting in her stomach, vanish.

"Hi Kate." The girl smiled, a little hesitantly.

"Hey, Lex," she sighed, returning the smile tiredly. Lately, she'd been spending more and more time at the loft and getting Alexis to finally call her Kate felt like a huge achievement.

"Have you eaten?" the girl asked, shutting the door behind her and taking Beckett's coat as she kicked off her heels.

"Um. No but I'm not really hungry."

"Really? Because Dad said you'd say that and that I wasn't supposed to listen to you." Alexis' eyes gleamed and Kate couldn't help throwing her head back in a laugh. And God, it felt good to laugh.

"Really? And where is this father of yours?"

"Hiding in his study, doing God knows what."

Kate smiled again and pulled the files from her purse, "Well I'll go give these to him and see what he's up to."

"Okay." Alexis surprised Kate but flinging her arms around her and whispering, "Thank you for sending him home."

Stunned, Kate returned the hug, wrapping the red-head up in her arms, "Don't thank me."

Alexis squeezed one last time and then let go, heading up the stairs calling over her shoulder, "I'll be in my room if you guys need me."

Beckett smiled after the little Castle and then turned to the study. Knocking quietly on the slightly ajar door, she stuck her head in.

Castle was seated at his desk, facing away from the door staring at the smart board. It was completely blue except for a square picture of her in the middle. She knew what that meant.

"Castle." He jumped and swiveled to find her staring at the board.

"Beckett, hey, I didn't hear you come in." he stood and started over to her but stopped when she turned her gaze on him.

"You're not working on it, are you?" She swallowed hard, barely able to hold his eyes. No, he couldn't be doing this. Not again.

"Of course not. No. You asked me to stop working on it, I stopped."

"Then why-"

"I like that picture of you," he turned back to the smart board, smiling a little sadly at the thumbnail, "You look happy."

She bit off some snarky comment about how she looked now and glanced down at the folders in her hand, "Um. Here are the cases. I tried not to get any pictures with her face."

Instantly the air thickened and Castle stared at the folders in his hands, "What was her name?"

"Alahnis Cardell. She was 18. A swimmer. Worked at an animal shelter. Top of her class. Close to her family. No one knows why…" _Why such senseless violence would be committed against such good person? Why she had her life snatched away so early? Why her?_

Rick dropped the files onto his desk and took Kate's hand, "You hungry?" his voice was rougher than usual, but remained steady. She tried to fight the urge to run away as his thumb smoothed over her wrist. _Letting him in, letting go, you can handle this, Kate._

"No." she couldn't tear her eyes away from the folders among the strewn plot ideas and other papers on the desk.

"Humor me then." He tugged her out of the study and toward the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Jeez. It's been a horrible week and a half and writing has sadly been the last thing on my mind. But here's the third part anyway. I hope you enjoy it. (On another note DID YOU WATCH THE PROMO LAST NIGHT? AUGH. DYING.)**

**Anyway, feedback/reviews are ALWAYS appreciated. **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 3

After a dinner of re-heated lasagna and a glass of wine, they returned to the study. Castle waved Beckett over to the leather couch that ran along one wall of his study while he opened a separate tab on the smart board and scanned in the files. He organized them quickly around the board and then turned to Kate.

"Alright, what else do we know about Mrs. Bakeman?"

Kate let a sight flap her lips before unfurling herself to stare up at the makeshift murder board, "Uh. She worked at a law firm down off Broadway. Family says no problems. They're financially sound. Daughter…" she faltered for barely a moment and began again, refusing to look at Castle, "says they're all close, nothing really indicates any real problems. I didn't…" she paused again, shocked by her own neglectfulness, "I didn't call her firm. Damn it."

"We'll call tomorrow, Kate. It'll be just fine." Castle shot her a careful smile and recorded all the rest of the data before switching to the other case.

"And Alahnis?" his voice was strained as he stared at the picture of the girl.

"Castle you don't have to-"

"The girl, Kate, I need the information to put in the case."

She sighed but new he was resigned to work this case, see it through to the end, "I told you all I know. I called the school and animal shelter. Both said everyone loved her. Good kid, smart, hard working."

Rick wrote it all down, somewhat haltingly.

"She'd just gotten into Yale." She whispered, remembering another detail that the grief stricken family had provided, "She was going to study to be a doctor."

Castle sighed and set down the keyboard. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by a knock.

Kate snatched the remote from the couch where she'd been perched and powered down the smart board as Castle called, "Come in."

Alexis inched in tentatively, dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, "Sorry if I'm interrupting."

"Hush, you're not." Kate mumbled, suddenly embarrassed for stealing the girl's father for the night as Rick wrapped a falsely jovial arm around his daughter, "It is a very welcome one."

His daughter leaned into his embrace and smiled sleepily at them, "I'm headed to bed. Just wanted to say good night."

"Good night, Alexis," Kate smiled at her, mentally freeze-framing the teenager, alive, wrapped in her father's arms, safe. Not dead in an alley.

"G'night, Kate," Alexis pulled away from her father and hugged the detective lightly around the shoulders. Still surprised by the sudden affection, Beckett brought up her hands, a little belatedly, and hugged her back.

The embrace broke quickly and Castle was following Alexis out of the study, smiling a smile that he usually reserved for Alexis and (on rare occasions) his mother, back at Kate before she knew what was happening. The door creaked nearly closed and Kate turned back to the Smart Board, momentarily alone.

There wasn't a yet discernable connection between these cases and it was driving Beckett mad. Well unless you counted the fact that they had a striking resemblance to people that she and Castle both loved, and she wasn't sure if she _should _count that. Something just felt off to her about them though. What were the odds of someone who looked like his daughter and her mother being murdered in the same time frame? Surely, they were slight. So this was what? Some kind of sick game? A warning? Psychological targeting? The thoughts made her shudder, but she took up the keyboard and tentatively tapped out the ideas, linking the two cases and adding questions like "Targeting the whole team?" and "How many more?" If just Rick and Kate were their targets, then how many more deaths would they have to endure before they caught this psycho? The boys? Martha? Her father?

Each other?

She was gasping for breath at the very thought of him (or even someone who looked similar) lying dead in an alley or gutter. She couldn't handle it if this case… if he ended up… No. It wasn't even close to an option. She would protect him with a ferocity that was simultaneously new and old.

Kate didn't know how long she stared at the case files, eyes glued to the photos of the all too familiar faces. She didn't hear Rick come in, didn't notice his presence until he appeared in her peripheral vision.

"Hey," he murmured.

"Alexis okay?"

"Funny she asked the same thing about you."

"Oh. But is she-" Kate couldn't look at him. These people. His daughter. Him. They were so essentially good and… she didn't know how she'd landed in the middle of them.

"She's alright. I convinced her to take off interning until we close this case. Called Lanie, she understands. But Alexis is okay."

"Good." Kate hadn't taken her eyes from the screen. _This damn case is torture._ Things were just going in circles and nothing made any sense. Maybe once Lanie got her the autopsy report back something would click, but until then…

"Hey." Rick's fingers eased over her shoulder, but she still jumped, turning to him. His eyes softened and she wondered why as he reached over and stroked his thumb over her cheek. Oh. When had she started crying? _God damn it all._

She balked away quickly, trying to hide her face from him as she wiped away a second, traitorously dripping tear, "Sorry."

"You did _not_ just apologize for crying." He murmured, taking her hand and trying to reel her in closer.

"I don't… It's not my case to cry about." She tried to tug away from him again, but he pulled them back, sinking onto the couch.

"I cried," He whispered, drawing her to his chest and leaning against the arm of the couch. She resisted (barely) for a moments, trying to push out of his arms. But he was having none of it. He was done letting her run.

"I cried when I got home and saw Alexis. I almost cried earlier when you were in the bath room and again at the girl's crime scene. It doesn't make you weak, Kate." His hand was making a slow, soothing path over her back, the other thumb barely stroking over her hipbone._ This is protruding far too much_, he though, running the digit over it again, _I need to fix that. _

She ground her back teeth, pressing her lips into a thin line, and momentarily squeezing her eyes shut. _No. No crying. Crying solves nothing_. Castle wound his fingers through he hair, holding her closer against his chest, his lips pressing at her temple.

She couldn't pin the exact moment when she broke. All she knew was the she was suddenly clutching at Castle's chest and whimpering (_fucking _whimpering_ for God's sake!)_, "I miss my mom, Rick."

And then the dam ruptured and she was spilling tears and inhuman noises and he was holding her, rocking, combing his fingers through her hair with a calm that he did not feel.

"Oh, Kate." He whispered, brokenly, fighting the urge to crush her, take all the pain away, any way he knew how, never let her out of his arms again, "I know."

XXX

She jerked awake suddenly, compressed and warm and somehow totally comfortable. _Safe._ She thought, _That's how I feel… It's been a while. I wonder what…_ Then she realized that her arms were twisted around the body beneath her, one across his chest, the other hand knotted in the material of his shirt, curled under her chin.

His arms were snaked around her waist, tight, face pressed into her hair, breath tendrilling over her cheek. Everything felt so deliciously good. Like they were in a safe, warm bubble where nothing could touch them or destroy them.

In the midst of her comfort, Kate was momentarily confused as to why she was awaked. And then her phone buzzed in her pocket again.

Castle stirred, partly beneath her and she had to swallow half a moment of panic before forcing it down. She slid off his chest, and used the hand not still laying across it to drag out her phone. His arms slackened slightly around her waist and he groaned quietly.

"Sorry," She whispered, moving away from him, but his arms instantly tightened around her again.

"No. Stay."

Fighting a smile, she moved back, laying her head on his chest and pulling up her phone.

"Why are we awake at-" He glanced at his watch, "3:28 in the morning?"

"I have a message." She unlocked her phone and furrowed her brow slightly, "from Lanie."

In fact there were three. The first, from around 12:00, read "Vic 1: multiple stab wounds to chest. Demascus blade. You okay?"

Kate's heart was in her throat and her free hand clenched in a fist at Rick's side. The message below it, sent at 1:13 in the morning read, "Vic 2: Strangulation. White and green fibers in neck. Where are you? Javi tried to call. So did I. you with writer boy?"

The second message made her blood run cold (she barely even took notice of the not- so-subtle innuendo about her and Castle) and she shivered, pressing against him.

"Kate? What's wrong?" He sensed the change in her at once, the coiling of her lean muscles, the shudder, the pulling closer to him. It was different and though he didn't mind holding her closer one bit, she was scaring him just a little bit, "What's Lanie saying?"

Her cool hand slid over his mouth as the scrolled down to the last message. It contained two pictures and was time stamped 3:26. The first picture was labeled "Vic 1" and depicted the victims hand. Scrawled there was, "JB for KB." The in the second picture (subscripted with "Vic 2") was another, smaller hand with "AC for RC" written on it. Lanie had added the message "You better call me ASAP,' beneath the pictures.

She stopped breathing and shot off his chest, ripping her hand away from his mouth and scrambling to get off the couch. Castle tried to catch her around the waist but she wriggled away, searching desperately for her shoes.

"Kate, talk to me what's going on?" she flung he phone at him, snatching the remote keyboard for the Smart Board from the desk to add the new information. She was on autopilot though. It was all she could do not to scream. _It was fucking psychological targeting. Who the hell had the right to do this?_ Her hand were almost shaking too much to tap out the new case info. Kate wanted to throw up. These cases weren't random. They were targeted at her and Castle. But why?

There was a gasp behind her as Castle read the texts, "Kate." He was choking and she couldn't handle it.

"Rick, you've gotta breathe for me okay?" she hazarded a glance at him over her shoulder and wished to God that she hadn't. There were tears in his eyes and the blind panic was obscuring his eyes.

She swore to herself, quickly finishing sketching out the new information before turning to him, "Hey, breathe. Okay. They aren't them. I mean…" her hands found the sides of his face and she forced his eyes to hers, "Alexis is okay. She's upstairs. This guys… he's just screwing with us." Kate wasn't even aware of the words spouting out of her mouth. Eventually, she just leaned her forehead against his and waited his breathing to return to something close to normal.

"We've gotta go see Lanie." He rasped, placing his hands over hers on his face and threading their fingers together.

"Yeah. I'll call her on the way there. You okay?" she squeezed his hands and he nodded.

"Fine. Let's go."

"Okay." But she didn't move for a moment. Instead, not bothering to even think about her actions, she kissed him, carefully pulling his mouth to hers. It was short, gentle, but so full of compassion and love that they were both reeling from it.

The kiss was nothing more than a brief pressing of soft, warm flesh, but it was beyond electric. Like a familiar caress that would never lose its luster.

"Lanie," he breathed over her lips, connecting them once more, even quicker than before, and then he stood.

"Yeah." She was more dazed that she cared to admit, "Lanie. Yeah, let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**First please allow me to prostrate myself at your feet in apology. This month has been freaking insane between college prep, prom, breaking my hands and a whole lot of drama, writing has been almost impossible, but I am proud to say I tapped out this last chapter with one hand, still in my prom hair and make-up until about four this morning, just to have it (finally) done for today. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up since it takes forever to type one-handed and for that I apologize. I'll try my best to get it up sooon. **

**Hope you enjoy anyway. As per usual, Feedback/Criticism/Reviews are always appreciated. **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 4

They burst into the morgue less than 20 minutes later, still reeling from the new information. _It couldn't even be called evidence_ Kate thought, disgusted. Lanie was pacing through the center of the room between two tables with bodies covered in white cloths. Esposito dozed in a chair near the door to Lanie's office but sat up quickly as they entered.

"Lanie, what the heck are you doing here at three in the morning? Shouldn't you be home?"

Kate was cut off by her friend hugging her tightly, "I know. But I was just… these cases kept getting in the way. I'm sorry." the last words were whispered and Kate hugged Lanie a little tighter.

"I'll say." Espo muttered, having completely missed the final sentiments and Lanie shot him a quick, murderous look as she broke the embrace with Beckett. He ducked his head and looked accordingly ashamed. Castle glanced at him, fighting a smile and the urge to feed the birds.

"I didn't force you to come here with me, Javier." Lanie snapped at him, "Anyway. Look here." Lanie uncovered one body (leaving the victim's face covered) and pointed at the stab wounds.

"The victim was stabbed her multiple times, yeah?"

"Yes." Kate forced herself to examine the small dark holes that covered the woman's body. _She's _not_ your mother, Kate._

"Well did you see any blood at the crime scene?"

"She was killed somewhere else." Castle jumped in, surprising Kate by being right behind her.

"Exactly."  
>"So. What does that tell us?" Beckett ran her fingers through her hair and glanced at the ME, who had deflated somewhat.<p>

"Not much. I looked for any trace evidence of some kind of particulate on her clothes but I couldn't find anything."

"Did you try to finger print the hand that had the writing on it?"

"Whoever it was must have been wearing gloves because there was nothing there." Espo finally jumped in, appearing behind Lanie as they looked down at the victim.

"And vic two? Anything new with her?" Kate felt Castle stiffen behind her and swung her arm back, brushing his fingers gently. He held on for a millisecond before letting her arm swing back.

"No. Aside from the fibers which look similar to the-"

"3XK," Castle spat and Kate's fingers brushed his again.

"Right," Lanie gave him a sympathetic look before continuing, "and writing on her hand there's nothing." Lanie yawned and seemingly unconsciously leaned into Esposito's side. His arm went around her waist automatically. The two women locked eyes, a silent conversation passing between them. From Kate a _Since when has this been happening again?_ And from Lanie _Mhm, I saw that hand thing and the way you two walked in together._ But now was not the time for girl talk.

Castle broke their 'conversation' with a question, "Isn't there some kind of handwriting machine you can scan that through and find a match?"

Kate snorted, "We've been working too many FBI, CIA cases, Writer Boy. We don't have the cool toys, remember?"

"I'm allowed to dream aren't I?" He pouted.

Kate and Lanie both opened their mouths to reply when their's and Esposito's phones rang. Irrational fear gripped Kate as she brought the phone to her ear. _Who now? How much more can we handle tonight?_

"Beckett."

Lanie and Esposito stepped in opposite directions to take their calls. Seeing that the other two were turned away, Castle rested a hand on Beckett's waist, leaning in to try to catch a snippet of the conversation, but Beckett hung up before he could hear much.

Moments later, the other two rejoined them and Rick hastily withdrew his hand, "You guys get a double homicide call?" Kate knew the answer before they gave it.

"Yep."

"58th and 9th."

"Great." Kate sighed sarcastically, dragging a hand through her hair again, "Lanie, you riding with Espo?"

She glanced at the Detective who gave her a limp smile, "Yeah. I'll see you two there."

"And I'll call Ryan on the way," Esposito added as he helped Lanie shrug on her coat.

"Thanks, Javi." Kate called as they headed off to the crime scene.

"You okay?" Castle whispered in the silence left by Lanie and Esposito.

"Are you?" she countered, not sure how to answer his question.

"Kate-"

"Look, we'd better go. Lanie'll give us hell if we stay down here too long. Start suspecting things." She tried to keep her voice light but it fell painfully short. Rick sighed but followed her out of the swinging double doors.

At the end of the hall, he jabbed the elevator call button, somewhat impatiently, but froze when he felt a slim, cool hand slip into his, fingers tangling together, and felt a shuddering breath on his shoulder.

"It'll be okay." He whispered, squeezing her hand back.

"Look… If this is like the last one… Will you just wait in the car until I give you all clear?" This was one thing that she kind of hated about their developing… whatever they were. Her need to protect him from pain or anything vaguely unpleasant had increased tenfold and as she had a sneaking suspicion (_horrible gut feeling, terrifying idea_, whatever you wanted to call it) as to who the double homicide _could _be, she didn't want him exposed to it.

She should have known his answer, "No. Kate. If… we're in this stupid case together, okay? Partners."

"But… This isn't your job. You didn't sign up for-"

"I knew what I was getting into, Kate. Well," he amended slightly at her raised eyebrow, "maybe not all that it was going to entail but I'm not letting you do this on your own."

The elevator arrived, the doors sliding open before them and they stepped inside, "Castle." Her fingers loosened around his to lean away and press the button for the ground level. He pulled her back in and wound their hands tighter together. Ever since the kiss, he'd been unable to think about anything but her, which wasn't all together new but it had reached a new level of intensity. Her lips, her eye, the way she held him and helped him calm down, the spark in their kiss that he was dying to feel again.

"Don't 'Castle' me. We're in this together. My daughter and your mother. We're both targets."

"I'll sic Gates on you," It was an empty threat and boy, did he know it.

"Bullshit," he laughed, tugging their arms across his body to wrap himself around her, "You know she'll throw me out in a second if she thinks I'm interfering and you don't want that, do you?" he whispered the last part in her ear and she fought a shudder that worked its way down her spine anyway.

"No, I suppose I don't." She sighed, resting her temple against his jaw, hands over his across her stomach, "But please. Just go if you need to. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere."

The scene was bustling, even though it was barely 4:15 in the morning. Kate ducked under the yellow tape, once again held by Officer Johnson but was stopped short by an apprehensive Ryan and Esposito. Castle, who hadn't been paying attention, ran into her back.

"Move it boys, we've got a couple bodies in there."

"Turn back, Beckett. You too, Castle." Esposito stepped up a little and Ryan, playing off of his partner's bravery, bolstered his own will.

"Lanie said you guys need to assign yourselves off this case."

Beckett glared between them incredulously, but was she watched, certain details revealed themselves to her. Ryan was paler than usual and Javi's hands were shaking almost imperceptibly. Both bore barely masked expressions of horror, completely controlled except for their eyes.

"No way, this is our case. Come on, move it." She tried to shoulder past Ryan, knowing that he was fractionally less tenacious about these kinds of things than Esposito but this time he surprised her, stepped up to block her path to the bodies.

"Seriously, Beckett, you don't want to work this one."

A voice came from behind them , "Yeah, Detective, Ryan's right. It's a pretty gnarly one. Whoever did this is seriously sick." They all turned to Officer Johnson, who rarely spoke at crime scenes, much less to them. He was a nice enough guy, just an average forty something with thinning reddish hair and absolutely no ambition to actually become a detective. He was quite content with his position in the justice system, lifting tape for those who did real work and the occasional canvass. The most Kate or her partners had ever spoken to him was at the precinct spring picnic or the Christmas parties.

"I'm sure I can handle it, thanks, Johnson," she all but snarled, turning back to her partners. Castle, who had been strangely quiet, was craning his neck to look over Ryan's shoulder but he and Espo moved together, effectively blocking him out.

"Seriously guys, move it." Kate advanced several more steps and finally muscled her way past Ryan, Castle following closely behind. Lanie glanced up from the bodies and paled.

"Both of you turn back." she started to stand but Esposito strolled over to her, shaking his head.

"Just leave it, Lain. They won't listen."

"Javi…" She gave him a significant look but he just shook his head again, squeezing her arm gently.

"Come on you two, we've got bodies. Lanie, who-" but Kate stopped dead in her tracks.

Sprawled on the ground, a green and white rope still loose around his neck, lay Castle. His deep blue shirt was rumpled and half untucked and his lapis eyes, sunken in the now gray face, were trained blankly on the heavens. Pale lips parted just barely a final cry for help? Whispered last words to a loved one? She didn't know which she hoped it was.

It was as if all feeling had left her body and her vision tunneled. Breathless, limbs numb, she spun wildly, searching for her Castle. Because this was _not_him. That was utterly impossible. He'd been with her not a moment before, hadn't he?

She found him leaning against the side of a building gasping like a fish out of water. Why…?

It was then that she remembered. _Double _homicide. Then the other body….

It surprised her that she hadn't noticed the woman before, there was so much blood. Under her, tangled in her dark hair, splattered under her dark brown eyes, leaking onto her killer heels, dousing the fingers of her right hand which lay inches from the man's left one. All stemming from a single gunshot wound to the left chest. Oh. Shit.

"Castle," he flinched as her hand fell to his arm, "Hey, go to the car I'll be right there." Her fingers slid down to his wrist, reveling in the warmth of his skin and the steady thrum of his pulse, erratic as it was.

His fingers twisted around to tangle with hers, "No, I'm okay. Please just…" he strangled off the last of his sentence, trying to master his emotions, control his near hyperventilation.

"Rick, I've gotta finish at this scene. Just go to the car and I swear, two minutes-"

"No, Kate, I'm good. Really."

She didn't have the energy to argue, just sighed and turned to Lanie, an eyebrow raised.

"Riff Campbell, age 40 and Kaye Bennett, age 31. Both dead since about 11 last night if liver temp is any indication. Prelim cause of death for her is GSW to the left chest and for him it's asphyxiation. I'll be able to tell you more when-"

"You get them back to the lab, yeah." Beckett interrupted impatiently, "Their hands…"

Lanie nodded grimly and used a gloved hand to turn theirs over. There, scrawled on their palms were the messages "RC for KB" and "KB for RC."

Kate blew out a sigh and ran her fingers through her hair, jumping slightly when Castle's tightened around her other hand. She'd forgotten that he hadn't let go and even though it was unprofessional of her, she was immensely glad of it.

"Anything else?" Castle asked shakily.

"Well, we can assume she was killed here because of the…" Lanie paused and Kate was struck by how easily she forgot that people other than she and Castle had been affected by her shooting. It made her scar tightens, twisting the skin tighter to her chest, guilt curling in her gut.

The ME cleared her throat and continued, "But I won't be able to tell you for sure until I get them back to the morgue."

"Great." Kate flicked her eyes at Castle once; taking in his splotchy complexion, still shallow breathing, and the grip he had on her and made an executive decision.

"Boys, can you start-"

Ryan cut her off, "Already on it, boss."

"Yeah you and Castle head back to the twelve and start with the murder board. We'll be there when the scene's clear." Javi slapped his partner's shoulder lightly.

Beckett nodded curtly and turned, pulling Castle behind her, but she turned and shot Ryan and Esposito a grateful half smile which they returned.

The ride back to the precinct was a quiet one. Castle had released her hand to get in the car, but it had crept over to rest on her leg as she drove. She knew the need for physical contact was running high and was glad he was doing it. God, the man had looked identical to him. And the irrational fear that had seized her when she thought it was him…

Shuddering, she dropped a hand from the wheel; there wasn't a huge need, the traffic was light, considering it was almost five AM; and wove her fingers back through his. His palms engulfed hers and warmth spread through both their bodies.

"We're okay," she breathed, and then, "No more waiting."

Castle started and stared from their intertwined hands to her, "Kate…"

"You and me, Castle. That's it." they had pulled into the precinct's parking lot and she turned to him, "Okay?"

He smiled at her, tired, "Always."

She nudged her face forward and brushed her mouth over his, "Always." Their lips connected for another split moment and then she pulled away, squeezing his fingers softly, "C'mon."

They were barely of the car when a bark of "Beckett, Castle," cut through the air.

They turned to find Gates stalking towards them.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Upstairs, Sir. Got a murder."

"Did Ryan and Esposito not tell you?"  
>"Sir?"<p>

"You are no longer investigating this case or any case involved. The boys will-"

"But sir," Kate burst angrily, "we're the targets here."

"Which is exactly the reason I don't want to see you two investigating here until this case is closed. If either of you show up before that time without my express permission, Beckett, you will be on desk duty so long it will make your head spin. And you," she turned her glare on Castle who jumped slightly, "will be suspended from my precinct until further notice. Do I make myself _perfectly_ clear?" The Captain glowered between them. Both knew resistance was futile and nodded.

"Good, now, you will both have a security detail- I don't want to hear it, Beckett. This guy's crazy and I don't want him anywhere near my team. Now get out of here. Go home, get some sleep, anything not here." Gates turned on her heel and clicked away.

Resigned, Rick and Kate clambered back into the car, buckling in.

"Well," Castle sighed, his hand settling back on her knee, "on the plus side, she thinks of me as one of the team."

"Yeah, but on the negative, we're off the case."

"Ah, well see, the thing is," The mischievous grin that slipped over Rick's face made her heart accelerate, "She said nothing at the _precinct_, did she not?"

A slow smile crossed over Kate's face. Her hand came to his again and she gunned the engine, "No definitely not the precinct."


	5. Chapter 5

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**So I got this done faster than I anticipated though I'm not sure when the next one will be up sadly. Typing one handed sucks like no other but it's totally worth it! The middle's a little awkward but… I hope it's not confusing. I was listening to a bunch of Mumford while writing this so. If you understand where I got the name Riff from, I shall be a very pleased theatre kid :) Anyway. Hope you and joy. As always criticism, feedback, and reviews are very much appreciated. **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 5

Their plan to investigate from the loft did not go as intended. The first hour went by quickly as they added the new victims to the board and looked through the school and work records for the first two victims for connections with Kaye and Riff.

But as they got into the second hour and Martha and Alexis began to stir upstairs, they hit a wall. Without information on the newest victims, where they worked, their families, the non-investigation couldn't get much further.

"Come on, Kate. Let's take a break. Talk to my kid and my mom, have some breakfast. We'll take another stab at it soon."

When she didn't answer, still staring between the 4 victims, he took her wrist and turned off the makeshift murder board with the other hand.

"Food, Kate." He demanded, pulling her from the office and through the living room, "Now."

Martha and Alexis were both bustling around the kitchen, making tea and toast and pulling fruit from the fridge, working around each other and passing things off.

"Hello beautiful family," Rick half- bellowed, releasing Kate's wrist to kiss his mother on the cheek before wrapping his daughter in a rib cracking hug.

"Morning, Dad," she coughed, wriggling free.

It was then that the red headed women noticed the detective leaned against kitchen's entry way, wringing her hands.

"Kate!" Martha barked cheerfully, swinging her arm up around her and sweeping her into the kitchen, "What are you doing here so very early this fine morning?" Her eyes lit up gleefully and Kate saw where Castle got that gleam from, "Have you and Richard been having a roll in the-" Kate was bright red when Castle jumped in.

"Mother, we had a case this morning and we've been using the Smart Board to straighten some things out."

Martha raised an eyebrow at him but he shook his head just barely, letting his eyes drift to Alexis, who was preparing a sandwich, and back. His mother inclined her head, understanding his promise of later.

"So Lex," Rick smiled down at her, "you guys have a three day weekend."

"Mhm." She replied absently, concentrating on opening a zip lock baggie one handed.

"Maybe you and your grandmother can go for a spa weekend up in the Hamptons."

Martha leapt on the suggestion, "Oh yes darling, let's. I've heard about this marvelous sea weed wrap at the Silent Spring spa. We can leave after you've finished with school today. Get some manicures…"

Alexis eyed her father warily, "Dad…"

"Oh go on, sweetie. Lanie wants you to take a break for a week or so. And it's your senior year. Have some fun."

Alexis gave him a searching but seemed to deem questioning or arguing to be a fruitless endeavor, so she just nodded and tucked her lunch into a sack, "I'm going to go pack a bag then. Gram…"

"Yes dear, I'll come help you."

They flitted off up the stairs and Castle sighed in triumph, turning to pull a pan from beneath the stove, "Want some crepes?" he tossed over his shoulder to Kate.

"You're scared," she pushed off the wall to pluck the pan from his hand and set it on the stove top, "You want them out of the city."

Castle ran his fingers roughly through his hair and avoided her eyes, "What if he gets tired of doppelgangers? What if he goes after the real people?"

"So you're making them leave to take away a target." She tiptoed up to him. He had shed his burgundy button down, leaving him in a white t-shirt and jeans. Kate reached over and ran a hand down his bare arm, "They'll be okay. I can get a detail on them if you-"

"No. Lex… That'll just scare her more."

"You'd know she was safe though," her hand smoothed up and down his forearm in an attempt to soothe him.

"I…" His forehead dropped to rest against her shoulder, "What would you do?"

She was taken aback by the question, the rawness that clawed from his throat, "Ahh… I'm not… The detail. I'd take the detail; have them followed this weekend at least."

"Okay," he sighed against her neck, "Thank you."

She turned and kissed his shoulder in response, fighting the blush that climbed her neck. _I want to be doing this, this is no big deal. I'm being ridiculous. I love him. Why is _

_this hard?_

Her phone was out of her pocket and to her ear before he could really react to the simple and extremely intimate gesture she'd just displayed, "Yes this is Detective Beckett, 12th precinct, badge number 41319. I need a protective detail on two civilians, Martha Rodgers and her granddaughter Alexis Castle. Town car license plate 127 ATM New York. Two officers should be enough. Top priority discretion," she paused for a moment and then continued, "Probable targeting in a serial murder case."

Castle's hand had become a vice on her wrist at the words 'probable targeting" but she covered the phone's mouthpiece with her free hand and promised that she was just fudging the facts to get priority protection. He relaxed somewhat.

"Yes, effective immediately… Thank you." The call ended and Kate forced the phone back into her pocket, "they should have a detail by the time they walk out of the building."

"Oh thank you." He was pulling her against his chest before she knew it. Her arms snaked around his waist, clenching tighter than either of them anticipated. Left over shock from seeing that man (NOT _Castle_) sprawled in the alley.

He gasped at her sudden reaction but then responded, hugging her hard. She sighed against his chest, leaning into the contact.

"Kate?" he murmured into her hair. She hummed a reply. His chest tightened as he voiced what was scrolling through his mind, "Earlier, in the car-"

He stopped short upon hearing the thud of two suitcases on the stairs. Kate drew her arms from his waist, despite his huff disapproval. This wasn't something she wanted to have to explain to his mother and daughter, especially since didn't even understand it herself.

Martha and Alexis reappeared dragging their bags, "Darren won't mind if we put these in the trunk now, will he?"

"Of course not. He can drop you both at school and then pick you up too."

"Thanks, Dad" Alexis threw an arm him in a quick hug before pulling away and checking the clock, "Oh! Gram we've got to go."

"Quite right darling," the actress yelped. She took a gulp of tea and then trotted to the door for her purse, calling, "Have a good weekend Richard, Kate."

Something in her tone made Beckett feel like she should be blushing, but she was distracted by Castle's daughter pulling her into a hug._ Three hugs in two days? Oh what did I ever do to get this kid to like me? Let alone trust me…_

"Bye Kate." She said loud enough for her father to hear and then she continued, quieter, for the detective's ears only, "I know what he's doing. Please don't let him get too neurotic."

Kate laughed softly and squeezed her tighter before pushing her to arm's length, "I'll do my best. Have fun, Alexis."

The girl smiled once more, kissed Castle again, and followed her grandmother out the door, laden down with her book bag, purse, suitcase.

There was silence in the loft for a moment as both Detective and writer stared at the closed door. Finally, Castle cleared his throat and turned to her, fishing his phone from his pocket, "Music?"

"Mhm," she shot him a small smile and leaned against the counter.

"Any requests?"

"Anything as longs as it's not some pop-y '80's song."

He mock pouted and padded over to the iPhone dock, snapping it into place and pressing shuffle. A slow guitar riff filtered from the speakers, followed by a raw male voice.

"White Blank Page? Really?' she half-teased.

"Yes?"

"I dunno, it's kind of a sad song."

"Oh. I, uh, I can change it if…" he moved to change the song but she caught his arm, giggling quietly.

"Castle. I'm kidding. I love this song."

"Oh. Okay." His hand had come to rest on her hip and as the chorus came around his fingers tightened pulling her a few steps closer, "Dance with me?"

The request was so perfect and innocent that she simply slid her arm up around his neck, clutching his right hand. His free arm went around her waist, holding her to him, entwined hands resting over his heart. Slowly they spun, between the kitchen and the living room, humming almost imperceptibly.

"Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life," their whispered harmony rang clear, barely completing the line before the stopped moving, simply standing, swaying to the music, and staring into each other's eyes.

Her heart suddenly constricting almost to the point of pain, she turned away, staring down at their hands.

"Oh tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart." Rick's lips were at her ear as he sang, even though a completely different song echoed around them.

"No fault." She breathed, pressing her forehead against his collarbone, "Not your fault but mine, your heart on the line, I really fu-"

His laugh vibrated through her chest, "You don't get to switch songs on me.

"It applies," she whispered, "I fucked it up this time."

"Didn't I my dear," he sang, still chuckling.

"I'm serious," she whacked his chest lightly and pulled away a little..

"Where is this coming from, Kate? We already talked about this. It-"

"I don't…know! Everything's just driving me crazy. This case and us and… If I hadn't lied and pushed you away things would have been different. We would have-"

"You don't know that. I might have pushed too hard, smothered you while you were healing and in the end we would have what? Hated each other?" He tipped her chin up, stifling her protests and forcing her to meet his eyes, "Things happen when and how they're supposed to."

"But you asked earlier… what I said in the car..." her chest was too tight and she balled up the hand on his shoulder, bunching up the fabric of his shirt, and taking a deep, supposedly calming breath, "I meant it and I hate that you have to question that I-"

His lips cut her off, pressing warmly against hers. Their hands twisted tighter together on his chest and the one tangled in his shirt drifted up and slid into his hair. His arm around her waist brushed under her shirt every so often as his tongue caressed its way into her mouth. She sighed and pulled him closer.

Hours, or maybe it was just a minute later, neither of them was quite sure, they broke apart. It brought him indescribable pleasure that she was gasping as much as he was.

"Okay? We're gonna be fine."

She nodded, blushing as he kissed her quickly, "Yeah, okay.

"Well," he kissed her forehead, "as much" a peck to her cheek, "as I'm," her other cheek, "enjoying this," his lips were over hers again but she wasn't letting go that quickly, catching his face between her hands and stealing his breath with the press of her lips and a swipe of her tongue before she backed off, "We need to eat." He was breathless and Kate smirked, swallowing several less than appropriate comments.

"Well lead the way, oh master chef."

XXX

They ended up eating the enormous plate of strawberry-Nutella Crepes (which Kate was reluctant to try but loved as Castle knew she would) in the office, staring blankly at the murder board again, though, for his part, Rick was having a hard time concentrating after the sound kiss Kate had given him in the kitchen a few minutes earlier, causing one of the crepes to burn.

"Think the boys or Lanie'll tell me anything if I called?" she grumbled after yet another time re-examining the limited information for Riff and Kaye.

"I think Lanie will yell if you try and this is one rule that Ryan and Espo will actually abide by.

Beckett sighed, "Yeah, I thought as much. I just don't-"

"Wait," Castle leapt to his feet looking between Jolene's case and Kaye's, "Lanie thinks Jolene Bakeman was killed somewhere else and dumped at her crime scene right?"

"Yeah..." Kate's fingers curled on the leg of her pants. _Not your mom, not Castle, not Alexis. Come on, pull it together. _

"So there was… I mean Kaye Bennett…" He was struggling, choking on 'blood' but Kate got the message, unfolding her hands to rest an arm against his side.

"There was no way she wasn't killed there.

"So either our killer's getting sloppier…"

"Or someone's putting pressure on him." They grinned triumphantly at one another. They were perfectly in sync again, finishing each others sentences, finding discrepancies and connections. Well, they were, before Kate burst the bubble.

"Not that it matters anyway. We still have no idea who, when, or where the next doppelganger will be."

"Maybe we should tell the guys?" Castle suggested as she sank down next to him against the desk.

"And tell them what exactly?. I mean not like this would help them find the killer. It's just a little detail. He might be the pawn of someone else. Oh well," Castle deflated and she instantly regretted letting her pessimism leak through, "Look they're good detectives, they'll figure it out

"I know but they're not us." Her smile at his retort transformed into a yawn that she tried and failed to hide.

"And now for the napping portion of this non-investigation." He pushed off the desk and held out his hands to her.

She gave him a look, "I'm not tried, Castle. I'm sure there's a connection here. I just have to-"

"No. There's not enough information for there to be even a semblance of a connection. C'mon, Beckett, I'm tired. We've gotten about 3 hours of sleep in the last couple of days and Gates kicked us out of the precinct for the time being. It's time to rest. Just for a little bit. Then we'll come back and look for some connections, okay?"

Her eyes narrowed as he spoke, "Why do I feel like you're patronizing me?"  
>"Okay so maybe I am just a little bit, but oh well. Come on, I'll give you a t-shirt of mine and some sweat pants we can roll up and you can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch in here in case you need something."<p>

"Or…" she murmured and he leaned in to hear, brushing her cheek with his nose, "You … you could stay in there with me… if you want. Y'know, just to sleep." She sputtered and then amended, "Just for now though. Just to sleep for now not forever. Because we'll get to that. I promise, I want to but… not today. I just. Don't really want to be alone." She finished quickly, gritting her teeth against the admission.

His eyes softened as he looked down at her, drawing an arm around her shoulders to lead the way to his bedroom.

"I'll be wherever you want me to be."

XXX

It was easy, far too easy. Due to his uniform and obvious profession, no one questioned his assent to Richard Castle's loft. People like him came and went all the time. He smirked in the elevator, slipping a hand in his pocket to quadruple check his tools. Lock picking kit, tasers, syringes, gags, handcuffs, blind folds… yes, that should be enough.

The elevator doors chimed softly as they opened onto the top floor. He passed swiftly to the author's front door and had the lock picked within moments and slipped inside. He knew the mother and her granddaughter were gone, had watched them driven away himself. Beckett would be his only real problem now. After much deliberation, he decided to take her out first since, and he was loath to admit it, she could probably take him out way more effectively than Castle.

But the loft was empty as he crept through it. Bedroom first, he figured, in case they were sleeping in late. As he slunk through the cracked office door, he caught sight of the makeshift murder board. _Figures,_ he snorted to himself, _bitch would keep working on it even when she and her partner are blatantly targeted, even when she's assigned off it._

Shaking his head, he continued to the half open door at the other side. The view inside brought on a pounding headache for some reason.

Beckett was sprawled half across Castle's chest, hair draped across his arm, one of which acted as her pillow, the other clasped hers over his chest. Both were fast asleep.

Almost silent he slipped across the room, administering the first syringe with practiced quickness. The detective barely stirred, just snuffled a bit and pressed closer to the writer. He rolled his eyes and plunged the second shot. Castle shifted, smacking his lips and tightening his grip on her hand but otherwise not changing.

_Good._ He thought, oddly relieved about not having to use the taser, _you two made this simple for me. It's almost boring._

Now came the difficult part. Transportation.


	6. Chapter 6

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Well, it wasn't up exactly as soon as I wanted it to be but… here it is  
>Really, all there is to say it, nothing is as it seems. Don't over think that, I'm half asleep so that might not work with this chapter. Haha. I'm pretty happy with this chapter. However I'm not positive when the next chapter will be. Sorry But! WHO IS READY FOR ALWAYS. BECAUSE I'M FREAKING DYING FOR IT. I'm trying not to watch the sneak peeks this one time and it's slowly killing me. Of course Castle would be the only thing to make me wish for Mondays.<strong>

**AAAAAnyway, Please review, critique, anything you want to say really, let me know! Hope you enjoy.**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 6

Rick woke suddenly, catapulted into consciousness and a sitting position before flopping back, knocked down by a brick wall of dizziness, black spots dancing in his eyes. For a moment, they threatened to overtake him but moment by moment they slowly dissipated until he could finally discern some detail.

Gray. Everything was gray. The sheet he was laying on, the 4 cinderblock walls, the floor, even the stripes of sunlight filtering through the window set high on the wall at his right.

Where… What happened? A glance down at his wrists revealed raw, red skin. He'd been… what, handcuffed? And what had been before this room? Everything was jumbled in his pounding head.

He sighed, still on his back, pressing his hands to his eyes. _Okay. So… So. The Smart Board!_ He'd been doing something to do with Kate's case? _No. No of course not. It was a case… with a red head. Not Alexis but… doppelgangers , Beckett's mom and…_

His eyes sprang open. _Kate. Where's Kate?_ Heart somewhere near his tonsils, he was on his knee within moments, ignoring the dizziness that hit him again, though less severely than before. However, the frantic tossing of his head in search did nothing to soothe it further.

_Oh God, if she…_ there was a slumped, thin figure in the corner, dark hair pulled in a braid down her back that he didn't' remember.

He was at her side in seconds, skittering on his hands and knees, dimly noting the tight metal bracelets still bracketing her wrists, "Oh God, Kate. Kate, wake up. Come on." He tugged at her braid gently, trying to garner a response. There wasn't one. He could swear his heart was trying to push itself out through his mouth, piece by tattered piece. Her skin was nearing ice temperature under his burning palms and she was so still.

Stricken, he flattened his ear to her chest, praying for something, a flutter would do. And then… Yes. Strong and steady. Maybe faster than normal, but present. A gentle rise and fall of her chest. Thank god. _That's my girl._

Momentarily satisfied, he carefully leaned back against the concrete wall, pulling her head into his lap and brushing loose hair from her face, "Please wake up, Kate." He bent low, pressing his lips to hers. _Prince Charming style. _He thought, actually giggling at the thought. _Except it works for him… Jeez, Beckett would kill me if she heard this…_

He sighed and laid a hand against her neck, pressing just enough to feel her pulse, just enough to calm him, as he studied their surroundings.

The room was completely bare save the sheet and window and pretty big for just two people, really. Bigger than the last time they'd been kidnapped. Castle shuddered at the thought of their striped feline friend from months ago, then turned his ear to the wall just in case. Nope. They were definitely in an isolated room. He wasn't sure about his feelings on that fact.

A noise from his lap. Something shifting. His eyes snapped down just as hers fluttered open.

"Hey," he whispered, relief, suddenly and inexplicably, choking him up. He kissed her again a caress that she returned confusedly before he sighed against her lips, "Hey."

"Castle where-" she tried to sit up and promptly fell back against his legs, pressing her eyes closed tightly.

"Shhh. Don't try to move. Give it a minute." He stroked the errant hair behind her ear again, left his hand at her cheek, tracing the outline of her nose, her eyes until they opened again.

"Where are we?" she whispered, shifting slowly onto her back to stare up at him. Her cuffs clinked and she glanced down before glaring in disbelief, "And why am I handcuffed? Castle, I swear to god if you think this is some kind of joke-"'

"Hey, I didn't do this! I woke up here, same as you."

Kate rubbed her eyes with the heels of her connected hands and levered herself into a half sitting position, leaned heavily against him, "Right. Sorry, sorry."

He just chuckled and kissed her forehead, "I'm just glad you're awake to blame me for things."

She returned his smile sleepily and glanced around the room, "So no tiger this time?"

"You did say we'd do it without him next time and… well here we are."

"Not exactly what I had in mind," She muttered and then froze, trying to ignore his kid-in-a-candy-store expression. _Shit._ _Distraction, Kate. Now._

"I'm guessing you didn't braid my hair either."

"Nope."

"Well that's creepy." She tried to swing the rope of hair over her shoulder into her hands but Castle caught it.

"Here, I'll do it." He slid the elastic off the end of the braid and combed out the three sections.

"Thanks," she sighed, leaning against his chest.

"Mmm." He brushed her neck and then paused.

"What?" She could feel his tension, rolling over her, exponentially higher than moments before.

"There's a mark on your neck. Like… from a needle."

What?" she brought her hands up and fumbled around until she found the stinging divet, "Ouch."

"Do I have one?" he clutched at his neck, searching but Kate turned and knelt between his knees, knocking his hands out of the way.

"Yeah." The traced her fingers carefully over the angry red, slightly raised hole and he shuddered, shifted, and one of her hands fell from his shoulder, tugging the other down painfully and causing the metal to cut into the sharp edge of her wrist.

She hissed, retracting her hands to her chest and trying to relieve some of the pressure.

"Sorry." He pulled her down to sit between his legs, her back to his chest. The fingers of one hand worked the metal cuffs away from the point of the most pain while the other delved into his pocket.

"What are you doing?" she yelped as he lifted his hips against her back to get deeper into his pocket.

"Just. A. Second." He grunted.

"Castle, I swear if this is some sort of freaky, drug induced sex-"

He shot her a mildly disparaging look that turned triumphant, "Aha! Got it."

A small, folded metal strip dangled before her.

"A bobby pin?" she turned to look at him, shutting her eyes momentarily to stop the room from spinning. When she reopened them, Castle was jiggling the pin into the key hole of the cuff.

"Castle, come on, there is no way that bobby pin will open up cop grade cuffs.

"Oh, ye of little faith," he continued, focused on the tiny tumblers within the chains.

After several moments passed with nothing but the plinking of metal on metal to fill the silence, she tried to pull her arm away, "Come on, Castle, this isn't-"

_Click._ The cuff on her left hand toppled open. Beckett stared in shock as her partner let out a quiet crow of victory.

"What was that about not gonna work?" he teased, smoothing a thumb over her purple-ing, raw skin before starting on the second one.

"Hush. Where'd you even get that?"

"I've kept one in my pocket ever since the last time. HAH!" the cuffs clilnked to the ground and Kate sighed.

"Thanks." She rested the back of her head on his shoulder and his fingers wove over her wrists, soothing away most of the pain with the kiss he pressed against them. She fought a shudder. Even here, in this dank, gray room, he still managed to make her heart rate skyrocket. She let him continue on, purely selfishly, for about a minute before rolling to her knees, afraid she'd be content to stay here forever if she didn't move right then.

"Come on. There has to be some way out of here."

Castle jumped up, shaking off the last of his nausea and holding out a hand to Kate. But as he hauled her up, everything spun, pain surged to her temples, and her knees buckled.

"Whoa, Kate. Easy." His arm was synched around her waist and she clung to his shoulder, fighting the urge to throw up and pass out and (mortifyingly enough) cry, eyes clamped shut, "What's wrong?"

"Just dizzy," she grunted, "Head's pounding. 'M fine. Just give me a sec."

"Do you need to sit down?" His cerulean eyes were wide with concern, drowning her. She looked away. She could handle this.

"Nope." She gritted her teeth and pushed off him slightly, taking a few stuttering steps before collapsing against the wall, "Damn it."

"They must have given you a stronger dose of whatever they drugged us with. I feel alright but you're…" His hands clamped tight over her biceps as she shuddered, swallowing hard.

"Well, you're bigger than I am. It's probably almost worked out of your system now."

"Where as you-"

"Yeah, we forgot to calculate for her size. Not sure how long it'll take to wear off. Sincere apologies, really."

They both whirled around (Kate clinging desperately to Castle's shoulder in an effort to stay vertical) to find a figure in a doorway that neither of them had noticed. It was obviously a man, taller, broad shoulders. A dark hood was pulled over his face and the combination of that and his backlighting made it impossible to see his face.

"Who are you?" Kate gritted out, embarrassed that Rick practically had to hold her up. That meant that their captor would perceive almost zero threat from her. _Though… that could work to my advantage._ Her lip snuck between her teeth as she tried to get a better read on their adversary.

"Oh, you know me. Come on." They could hear the smirk in his voice but couldn't place it, though they were both sure that they knew it from… somewhere, surely.

"No? Well, soon enough. All in good time."

"NYPD identify yourself now."

The man laughed, "I think you'll find that that's less effective when the detective is sans badge and gun. Especially since you're on our turf now."

Kate instinctively clapped a hand to her hip even though she knew it was bare. Both pieces of equipment were tucked in the safe in Castle's office.

"And where exactly is that?" Castle's voice was low and calm, almost as if they were carrying on a normal conversation.

The man chuckled and took a step into the room. He was in their light level now and just under the hood they could barely see a black mask that covered his nose and the top half of his face, save the dark eyes, studying them through the eye holes of it, "Like I said, all in good time."

He shut the door behind him and slowly made his way to stand in the center of the room, completely at ease, hands in his pocket, leaning back on his heels.

"Why are we here?" Kate growled, trying to channel her hours spent in the interrogation room. The man didn't bat an eye.

"Well, Kate, you should actually be happy I brought you and Ricky boy here. See, there's this case. It's very close to your hearts and well… I know quite a bit about it too."

"What case?" Kate had stabilized a little and wasn't relying on Castle so much to stay upright.

The man waved a gloved hand, "Ah, it's an old case. Some lawyer got involved where she shouldn't have and years later, the ramifications are still coming to light. Some idiots continued looking into it even though they were warned to stop. Got some police captain shot almost a year back. What was his name, Montgomery?"

The rage came out of nowhere, and suddenly Kate was flying at the man. He anticipated her stumbling attack and sidestepped, grabbed her arm and flipped her over his shoulder to slam into the cement floor.

"Kate!" Rick took a step at the man, hatred burning in his eyes but froze as the cold click of a cocked gun echoed off the cinderblocks.

The gun barrel was pointed directly at her scar and Castle could see the terror in her eyes, magnified by an inability to catch her breath and the heavy drugs in her system.

"Wow. I thought I'd get a better welcome from the two of you. Hm. My mistake," He was retreating clipping Kate's shoulder as the backed out, gun still trained on her, effectively keeping both of them at bay, "Don't you worry, we'll see each other again soon." And with that he was gone, quick to slam the door shut behind him. They heard several deadbolts snap into place with an ominous finality before the closing of the door had stopped echoing off the walls.

"Kate." He sighed, kneeling down near her head.

"Hey there. Almost had him. Next time." She wheezed, trying to disguise the panic and pull a smile from him.

"God, Kate are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He leaned over and pressed his forehead to hers, "You can't… do that. He had… the gun it was."

Her fingers were in his hair, keeping them face to face, "Shh. I know. I know, I'm sorry. I don't know… he… I just snapped. That hasn't happened in a while."

"Yeah, well… Don't let it again."

She gasped out another laugh, "Yeah, do my best." She shifted, slowly trying to haul herself up right but everything was spinning again and her ribs were surely bruised and her scar felt like a small fire in her chest and it took all her effort not to pass out or throw up.

Castle saw it _(of course, what didn't he see?)_ and wrapped his arms around her body. She knew his plan a millisecond before he moved.

"Castle no-"

"Oh please Kate. It's not like you were going to move yourself."

"Maybe I had a reason for-"

He snorted, carrying her over to the sheet where he'd woken up, "Just stop. Let me help, for the love of God."

She pursed her lips but didn't respond and he knew that that was as close to victory as it was going to get.

He placed her tenderly in the middle of the sheet and then sank down at her side, flexing and relaxing his right hand.

"I'm not that heavy, am I?" she joked, putting her head down between her knees. It felt like two giants were pressing her head on both sides, trying to squeeze everything but pain from her.

"Hmm? Oh no," he gave her a disapproving look and continued, "No, just. Ever since I took out Lockwood when he was about to shoot you, my hand's gotten sore when it was about to storm, so I assume it's about to rain."

"Oh. Well. That's interesting I guess."

"Doesn't do much for our current situation." He groused, lying back on the sheet, rubbing the space between his ring and middle finger.

"I'm not even really sure what _would_ help." She sighed, "How did this happen? Why would they take us? You told me that they would only act if we kept looking into the case."

"That's what I thought," Rick's hand slid over her back, pressing to the tight muscles at the base Kate's spine. She jumped, winced, and then leaned into the contact.

They were silent for a moment, Castle still massaging her back. This was a mess. They'd been in situations similar to it before but this time… They'd always had something to use, a point of reference, but now. An empty room, a guy in a mask, and her mother's case.

"Oh." Castle gasped, his hand stilled against her, "Damn it."

"What?" she tipped her head enough to see the pained expression on his face, "Rick what is it?" her hand slid into his behind her back.

"We were working on the smart board. Your mom's case is on there. They thought…

"Oh. And you had it up the first day."

He smashed his fist against the ground, wincing at the almost instant bruising, "Damn it. Kate, this is all my fault. I'm so sorry."

She turned shakily, letting his hand go and bracing herself on wobbly arms to stare at him, "No. Castle, look at me. None of this is your fault. Okay?"

"But if I hadn't-"

"Hey, you were just offering up your technology to help save innocent lives. This isn't your fault."

He sighed, "What do we do?"

"We rest in shifts and wait and figure out a plan."

"And when Lone Range comes back?"

Her fingers were tangled with his again, "We give him hell."


	7. Chapter 7

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**So I wrote this one really super duper fast. Like in an hour or two fast. I just got a bolt of inspiration. It's angsty and cutesy and all sorts of things. **

**Special thanks to lkwill39, Ptitange99, Ferryman, and Oliver Haley for your exceedingly kind words, you really helped crank this out :) Also, Oliver Haley, don't worry, your question will be answered when our mystery man is revealed. And Ptitange99, Here's the (slightly creepy) answer to your question. **

**Thanks guys, all ye who review are awesome. So please maybe leave me some more thoughts, critiques, whatever works. I really hope yall enjoy this and _this one_ (unless I get bitten by the inspiration bug again) will probably be the last one before ALWAYS So… "I'll see you in another life brotha"**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 7

It was Kate's turn to sleep when it happened. She'd been fighting him tooth and nail, stating categorically that she was not tired and didn't need the rest but eventually, the pain and dizziness took control and she curled up with her head in Castle's lap. His fingers were carding through her hair of their own volition as he watched her sleep. He knew by the way she was moving that her ribs were extremely tender from earlier and that her head was still spinning. The way she held her eyes shut just a few milliseconds longer when she turned, how she held her arms just a little further from her sides.

"She is so beautiful," a voice breathed and Rick started, and then paused to glance down at Kate. No, she was still sleeping. His head whipped from side to side. There he was, in the corner, mask still in place, hood up.

"How'd you get in here?" Castle wrapped a protective arm around Beckett, gently detangling his other hand from her hair.

"The door. You were quite preoccupied." The man took several steps closer and his arm tightened on her.

"You're pretty protective, there." The man sneered.

"Well she's my partner."

The man snorted, "Please. Are you two still telling yourselves that lie?"

Castle didn't respond, just watched the man as he stared at Kate. It was… predatory and almost darkly lustful. It made him want to pull the sheet all the way over her, hide her from his gaze.

"You braided her hair earlier didn't you?"

"Her hair was a mess, you made it a mess. I had to fix her. She deserves to be beautiful every moment of her life."

"Oh… kay." Lone Ranger was seriously starting to freak him out.

"You don't think so?" Lone Ranger was suddenly in a rage, face red and Rick placed his hand over Kate's ear to spare her sleep.

"I think she always looks beautiful." He whispered back, glaring up at the man, "Always. Not just when she's all put together. In fact, she's even more beautiful when she's kind of a mess."

Lone Ranger stared at him, "You…"

"Look, I don't know why we're here but-"

The gun was out again, suddenly and pointed at her, "Get up."

"What?"

"I said get up. Now."

"Okay, okay, let's stay calm here," Slowly, carefully, he unwrapped his arm from around Kate and gently unwove hers from where it had clamped on his leg. Her eyes fluttered open and caught his, confused.

"Hey, sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep." He put on a falsely cheery tone and tried to hide the tension. She didn't buy it.

"Rick, what's going on?" Oh god, what he wouldn't give to hear her voice like that every morning when she woke up, rough from disuse, quiet, sweet.

"Nothing, just-"

"Go stand over there." Lone Ranger interrupted, waving his gun to the corner he'd previously occupied. Castle's careful illusion of calm was shattered instantly and she bolted up right, forcing the nausea that was still slamming into her body away. Castle shot her a look and then backed away slowly, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Move and he dies." The man came close, training his gun on Castle and shaking handcuffs from his pocket, "Put these on."

She obliged, still staring at her partner, trying to telepathically communicate, promise him everything would be okay.

"Tighten them all the way." She jumped a little and then glanced down at the cuffs, which were just barely clasped around her thin wrists. She complied with his demand and synched them until they were pressed to her skin.

One handed, Lone Ranger looped the chain that connected the hand cuffs with a longer one from his other pocket before locking it to a bracket on the wall. She had maybe 2 feet of wiggle room.

Her breathing sky rocketed as did her heart beat. This was it. She was completely out of control and in turn it was sending her self control out of the window. Her hands started trembling.

"Kate, hey, look at me. We're going to be fine, okay?" _Fuck. Of course he noticed, damn him. Get it together, Kate. You're in this together. You can't cut out on him now. _

"Quiet!" Lone Ranger shook the gun at Kate.

"Back away." She snarled as he shifted the muzzle of the gun to Rick again.

"I said quiet." He growled and his booted foot came out of nowhere, slamming into her chest.

She toppled back, gasping and clutching at her front as her cuffs strained. Castle let out what could only be described as a roar of fury and turned on her assailant to find the gun still aimed squarely at his heart.

"Kate." He wanted to go to her, hold her. Because he knew. Knew her scar was pulling across her chest tight and the though made his mouth dry.

She tried to regain control as quickly as she possibly could. Castle didn't need to see her like this. Everything was trying to go dim on her but she swallowed hard and took a breath.

"What do you want?" she wheezed, sitting up.

"I want to know what you know about the case." The light, almost teasing air was gone. Lone Ranger's voice was cold, calculating. He was on a mission and they were standing in his way.

"What case?"

In a flash, the gun had been replaced by a taser and it was imbedding itself in Castle's chest and he was doing his best not to scream. He did, moments later and Kate's stomach plummeted.

_Oh god, no._ This was like a bad nightmare. He was… he was hurting Rick and she was sitting here helpless to protect him.

"Stop!" she was straining as far forward as she could possibly get, pulling at all her joints to try to reach him, stop the volts shooting through his body, "What are you doing, stop! What case?"

It seemed like he screamed for hours, tossing like a leaf caught in a wind storm as she continued to fight wall and metal to get to him but nothing budged. Finally, when the darkness was closing over top of him and she felt like her arms were about to pop out of socket, he stopped. Rick collapsed to the floor, panting heavily. His face shone with sweat and he jerked with the excessive electricity still coursing through him.

"You know the case." Lone Ranger's voice was eerily calm again as he turned to Kate, who hadn't stopped trying to wrestle her way free.

"You're a monster." She spat, "We don't know anything about it. We haven't touched it in months."

Lone Ranger turned in a rage and landed a square kick in Castle's gut. All the air launched out of Rick's lungs and he gasped for breath but the moment he got any back, Lone Ranger's boot was in his stomach again and he lost it. He got clipped in the head once and saw stars, tasted blood before the foot was in his gut again.

"Stop! I'm telling the truth, we don't know anything. We stopped. We stopped!" she was manic now. He'd coughed blood; it had splattered across the floor in front of him, bright and shiny. It was like all her nightmares where he was the one on the ground dying. She was the one begging him to stay with her, the one whose life drained out of him. But this was so much worse. Reality. Their captor was beating him to a pulp and he couldn't fight back and she couldn't protect him. She was drowning in terror. _What do I do? I can't lose him. Not like this. _

Lone Ranger stopped abruptly, "I know you're lying to me Kate but… this is tiring work. He's more solid than he looks, you know," he case a look down at Castle who was stirring weakly on the floor, trying to get his arms under his bruised body. Lone Ranger stared at him contemptuously for several moments before bending down and punching him across the face. Any progress Rick had made was jerked out from under him and his head hit the concrete floor.

"I'll be back later. And if you keep lying to me, I swear it will be infinitely worse than this time."

He crossed the room and bent to unhook the longer chain from the wall. Kate saw her chance and whipped her legs around, catching the backs of his knees and sending him spilling to the floor, catching hard on his elbow. She drew back a socked foot and sent her heel into his nose with a satisfying crunch.

Blood gushed instantly and he rolled away, a hand pressed over his face, "Oh, Katie," He growled, "I'll remember that for later."

"I hope you do." She spat, "Don't _ever_ touch him again."

"Pretty protective for just partners." He was at her side quicker than she could react to, twisting his hand into the chains, a knee across the back of her legs, and slamming her face into the ground, "I'll remember that too." He was in her ear, far too close, breath sliding down her neck. She could smell the blood on his face and a drop plunked from his nose to her shoulder. She shuddered, fighting against the hold he had on her. He tightened it and pressed her further into the floor, still too close.

Suddenly the chain was unhooked and he was halfway across the room.

"Soon enough," he sighed at them before slamming and locking the door behind him.

She was at his side in seconds, ignoring the warm heat in her face that surely indicated a developing black eye and the dizziness that still hadn't gone away, throat tight as her hands fluttered over him, still cuffed together, "Oh god, Castle, I'm so-"

"Shh." He coughed, rolling over to face her. She almost gasped at the barely concealed pain in his eyes, "Hush, Beckett. I put the bobby pin in your pocket last time he came in."

"What?" She was too distracted by the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, from the cut across his cheek to pay attention to his words.

"Bobby pin. To get the cuffs off. It's in your pocket."

"Oh," she fumbled for it, hands too shaky to be effective quickly bet eventually she fished it out and inserted it in the key hole. She jiggled it around for several moments and then glanced at her partner. His eyes were closed. Her heart stopped.

"Castle, hey open your eyes. Keep your eyes open. Look at me." They fluttered open just enough to satisfy her and she went back to the cuffs, "Talk to me, stay awake, come on."

"Ah…" his head lolled to rest against her thigh and she lifted it to her lap, momentarily abandoning the bobby pin, "The dude's crazy, Kate. Like obsessed with you crazy."

One cuff off, now to the second one, "Really?"

"Yeah. He was the one who braided your hair. Said you needed to look beautiful every second of every day. But you already do. He doesn't get it." his speech was rapidly slurring and his brain to mouth filter was clearly on the fritz, "You're always beautiful, Kate."

The cuffs plinked to the ground and she chucked them across the room, drawing her fingers through his hair, "Okay, Castle, we've gotta move. You up for it?"

"Sure, sure." He coughed, wincing at the jarring of his torso but turned to her, "I think you have to get up first though."

"I will," she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, still shimmering with sweat, before rolling to her feet, and holding out her hands.

He hoisted himself off the ground and took her hands then Slowly, he clawed his way to his feet, half draped over Kate.

"Sorry," he huffed in her ear.

"Hey, turn about is fair play," she reminded him, putting a light arm around his waist to guide him back to the sheet, "I'm just sorry I can't carry you."

He snorted and then groaned, "Oh, don't make me laugh."

"Sorry," she whispered, pressing her lips to the only part of him she could reach, his neck. The shuffled across the room and eased down onto the sheet.

"Oh," he sighed leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. She knelt at his side and pulled her sleeves over her hands, wiping away the spatter of blood beneath his mouth, grateful that her shirt was such a deep blue that they could barely see just how much blood there was.

"You don't have to do that," he mumbled, his lips brushing her hand as she wiped more blood away.

"Hush. My turn to take care."

"This isn't like some debt, Kate," he grabbed her wrist and brought their hands down to his lap, "I-"

"Shut up. Let me take care of you, dummy." She leaned in and brushed her lips over his, "Okay?" the last word came out, breathy and far too wobbly for her liking. _Pull it together, Kate._

"Okay." He sighed back, connecting their mouths again for a moment before she pulled away.

Even more gently, she slid her sleeve over his cheek, smearing away most of the blood from the small cut there, "He hit you hard in the head?"

Rick shrugged and then winced again, "Not really. Not enough to give me a concussion if that's what you're thinking."

"Okay, look at me really fast." His eyes fluttered to hers and she forced herself not to get lost in the dulled lapis staring back at her. _Pupils are the same size. He's pretty cognizant. Maybe I can let him sleep. Wake him up every hour or so._

Something soft touched her cheek and she jumped away before she realized it was his hand, "Hey, shh, it's just me."

"Sorry." his fingers brushed tenderly under her eye and she winced a little.

"He got you good."

"Got you worse." There was ill disguised anger in both their voices and he pulled back his hand carefully, tracing the outline of the violet bruise blooming under her eye as she caressed the side of his face, her thumb skirting just under the gash.

"God, Castle, he..." she choked, trying to cram the tears down, fight off the ten ton weight that had taken up residence in her chest as she'd watched him get electrocuted and bloodied and been helpless to do anything but struggle against the chains.

"Shh. I'm okay. We're okay."

"You sure about that?"

They were silent for a time, foreheads pressed together, trying to soak up their situations. Her chest and throat were tight as she tried not to cry. Some one had just beaten Castle right in front of her. _And I just sat there. _She thought bitterly, _I should have done something. _

"There was nothing you could have done, Kate."

"How'd you…"

"Your face. I can read it better than most people can. You're not so good at hiding things from me anymore."

"I'll have to work on that," she muttered, swallowing hard and vowing not to let him see her like this anymore.

"Please don't." he whispered back, threading his fingers in her hair, "Please."

Kate kissed him again, hoping to distract him, because, however he asked, she knew if she locked away the terror, the anger, the helplessness, it'd be better for him in the future.

He accepted the distraction, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. She allowed it, keeping the kiss slow and languid before breaking it off. _No need to get hot and heavy in a jail cell_.

"You need to sleep." She breathed against his mouth.

"Can't."

"Yes you can. I'll be right here."

"Kiss me again."

"Castle." There was no way to keep the smile out of her voice. _Leave it to him to try and take this somewhere when we're locked up and he's just been tortured. _

"Just one more and then I'll sleep I promise."

"You promise, huh?"

"Cross my heart and hope do die."

Her throat caught on his words and she did her best to keep her breathing even.

"Please don't." she parroted, crushing her lips to his, searing their mouths together, pushing him back against the wall and slipping her tongue into his mouth on a sigh.

Heat flashed through her body and she had to yank herself away. _Not here. For the love of God, Kate, not now._

Castle groaned at her retreat, "God, Kate, if you expect me to sleep after that…"

She laughed again, gently guiding his head to her lap, "Then just rest."

"Or we could…"

"Castle," her hand closed lightly over his ear.

"Resting, got it."

"Good boy."


	8. Chapter 8

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**So… not as soon as I (or maybe you, dear reader) wanted, I know. but ALL I'VE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT IS ALWAYS BECAUSE I'M FREAKING DEAD HOLY CRAP. Perfection exists and always was it. just… augh. Completely.**

**Anyway, here it is, chapter 8 and I'm really happy with how it turned out. The new one will be angsty too. This one's a little of everything really. Also Ptitange99 The answer to your very intuitive question is in this chapter. So … yeah. Review if you've got a chance or something to say. Feedbacks, criticism, and thoughts are always welcome. I hope you enjoy**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 8

Rick's body eventually shut down and he was still asleep when the door opened again. Kate stiffened, hand clenching unconsciously in his hair but Lone Ranger didn't appear. Instead, a metal tray scraped across the floor, sliding about half way to them before the door slammed shut again.

The clang roused Castle and he started, jerking in her lap then groaning as his copious bodily bruises protested.

"Hey there." She whispered, scraping her nails lightly over his scalp, "How're you feeling?"

"Like a rag doll that got caught in a Kansas tornado in mid-July and then landed in a tumbling dryer full of rocks."  
>"And yet you're still so incredibly verbose."<p>

"Ugh, Kate you can't use such vocabulary that manner while you mock my pain."

"Never mocked your pain, just commented on the descriptive nature of your simile."

He stuck out his tongue and she moved his head from her lap, "They sent a tray in. Think it's safe?" she stood and inched toward it.

"Dunno. Probably since he's freakin' obsessed with you. Wouldn't do a thing to harm you."

"Yeah, because getting kicked in the chest and giving me a black eye and god, watching him hurt you doesn't hurt me." She spat it out before she could help it and then turned away from him quickly, suddenly unable to look him in the eye, "Rain check on talking about that?"

"Sure," she couldn't decide if he sounded resigned or relieved, "So how're you feeling?"

She shrugged, "Better, I guess. Not so dizzy anymore."

"Good," he watched, in an inexplicably nervous state, as she strolled up to the tray and nudged it with her foot. Nothing happened, "So. Not a bomb."

"Not a bomb," she snorted, "Is that really what you were worried about?"

"Weren't you?" he pouted as she sat down at his side, placing the tray near his head.

"Not really." She inspected the tray's contents. Two bottles of water, three pieces of bread, two apples.

"Wow. He really went all out," He commented dryly. She fought off a laugh.

"Yeah, well, even psychos have budget cuts in an economy like this."

He chuckled and tugged the corner off a piece of bread, holding it close to his face for inspection, "Think it's safe?"

"Only one way to find out." She popped a piece in her mouth and then reached for the water, carefully checking over every square inch of it, holding it this way and that. No pin hole leaks and it was still sealed.

"Share a bottle and save the other for later?"

He nodded, tearing off another piece of bread and munching on it.

She opted for an apple and was about to take a bite when he slapped a hand on her

wrist.

"What?"

"Don't bite it."

"Castle, what're you talking about?"  
>"I saw a show about war fare and one soldier was telling some of her friends about how she spent a week in a trench about 10 feet from the enemy. Everyone ran out of weaponry and ammo and they were chatting back and forth between some walls and then they ran out of food, so the enemy lobbed some apples over. First few people who took a bite ended up with holes in their stomachs. Tiny pressure bombs went Ka-boom when they bit into them."<p>

She stared at him skeptically, "This show wouldn't have anything to do with space cowboys, would it?"

"Maybe."

"Really, Castle?"

"Come on, Kate, just humor me. Please?"

She huffed, "Fine. If you figure out a way to eat the apples without setting off the deadly pressure grenades, the by all means. Do so. You have about 5 minutes before I say screw it and eat them anyway."

He pumped his fist and started to devise his plan.

Two and a half minutes later he showed her his plan of forcing the ridged edge of the bottle caps from the water bottles into the apples and eating the little morsels in there. She actually loved eating the circular, bite sized apple bits, though she'd never admit it to him. It reminded her of when her mother had cut up fruit when she was sick and had no appetite. Eating smaller things somehow made food more appealing.

"You okay?" She jerked slightly at his gentle touch on her shoulder.

"Mhm. Yeah. Just… thinkin', ya know?"

"We'll get out of here, Kate." She wasn't sure that she was the only one he was trying to convince

"How exactly?"

"The boys'll be here soon." He reached over and tugged her arm so that their sides pressed together.

"I can't watch him hurt you again," she whispered, pressing her lips to his shoulder.

He sighed and just pulled her closer. He would now make a promise that he wasn't positive he could keep. The best he could do was hold her close. And then the cogs in his brain started to turn.

"I suppose we are two versus one," he mused.

"Yes, but he has a gun and he's obviously figured out that as long as he has one of us in the crosshairs, we won't try anything.

"Well what if he didn't see either of us?"

"Don't count on it," she nodded at one corner. On the ceiling, a small camera hub was locked on them.

"Damn it."

"'bout sums it up."

"Think there's sound on that thing?"

"Possibility but not likely since it's in a hub."

"Okay, well what if we each take a side of the door and when he opens it, we jump him?" he hid his mouth behind a shoulder on the pretext of wiping it on his sleeve.

Kate's forehead dropped to her knees, obscuring the view of her mouth as well, "Might work, but it'd have to be last minute. Right when he's opening the door."

"Okay, you wanna take the tray?"

"You take it, distract him, and I'll come in from the other side."

He sighed, nodded, and nudged his head against hers.

Kate felt incredibly empowered, having a plan. They were in control again. No one was going to mandate their lives, their feelings. _No one is going to touch him. _They could fight now. They had a plan.

As good as it felt, the waiting was driving them both crazy. Castle had gone incredibly quiet, foot going a mile a minute and her hands were slick with sweat.

"Castle," her hand clapped over his knee, "He'll know something's up if you don't chill."

"Sorry, sorry." he muttered as she scrubbed her hands on her jeans.

"It's okay. I'm nervous too, just… be calm. It'll be okay." Seeing him this scared somehow snapped everything into focus for her.

He sighed and leaned his head back on the wall, "How long do you think we've been here?

Kate glanced up at the window, which framed a tiny square of the dark sky beyond. At some point, florecent lights ha flickered to life, furthering the gray atmosphere.

"Hmm. Maybe… Might have been at the loft this morning. Then…"

_Ah, this morning…_ How he wanted to be back there. Breakfast with his family, falling asleep in each others arms. Now they were here, scared, trapped, beaten but alive. _For how long though…_ His heart pounded and his chest constricted. _Distraction. Distraction…_

"Do you think Mother and Alexis are okay?"

"I'm sure they're fine. We've got a detail on them and they're out of the city. They'll be safe."

"Think the boys know we're here?"

"Why're you asking all these questions?" Her fingers knotted between his and he squeezed back, hard.

"I'm going crazy here," he whispered, "Constantly expecting him to bust through that door and… And I keep thinking about him and Alexis and Mother and the boys. And then I fall asleep and they're in the room with us only we can't get to them and there's a fire or a flood… and then he's shooting you." A strangled noise spilled from Castle's lips. He was losing it, breath coming in short bursts, fingers vice like around hers.

"Castle." She slid her free hand over his cheek, dragging his frantic blue eyes to forcedly calm hazel ones, "Hey. We're gonna be okay. You just told me that. Your mom and Alexis are safe, you made sure of that. And the boys… well they don't always act it, but they're smart. They'll figure it out. I trust them to get us out. Again."

The panic in his eyes had receded a fraction but not nearly under control. She smoothed his hand flat in hers and then held it to her chest, "Feel that?" she pressed him closer, willing him to feel the violent beating of her heart, "Do you? Because I am still right here. I'm right here with you."

Not pausing to think, she carefully maneuvered their fingers between the buttons at the top of her shirt and guided them over the twisted, grotesque (well she though) circle that rested almost directly over her heart.

"Not even a bullet can take that away." His eyes were shuttered under fluttering eyelids, Adam's apple bobbing desperately, jaw set, as she trapped her hands there. For a moment, she worried that she'd overstepped, terrified him further, but then his finger twitched against her scar and he let out a shaking breath against her cheek.

"Always means always," she whispered, rotating her head down to press their lips together, but just for a moment before pulling away.

When she did, she left their hands between them. The warm weight of his fingers soothed the never ending ache in her chest.

"Always," he breathed and she nodded. He was about to say more when one of the locks slid almost silently out of the door.

"Castle." She gasped but he was already up, fingers disentangled from hers, dumping the remaining contents onto the sheet. She scrambled after him, pressing her back against the right side of the door. He flanked the left side, the tray cocked back, prepped to take the first available shot.

Their eyes locked across the door way and it seemed like an eternity of space between them. She nodded once and he nodded back, rocking up on their toes, prepared for battle.

The door creaked open with a cliché eerie-ness and… nothing. No Lone Ranger, no tray sliding across the floor. Castle glanced up at Kate, fingers tightening on the metal. He tipped his head at the door, cocking an eyebrow. Kate answered by taking a tentative step forward. He followed her lead, advancing further into the doorway.

Suddenly, prongs were imbedding themselves in Castle's chest. The tray clanged to the floor and he was on his back writhing as electricity shot through him for the second time that day. An arm protruded around the door, holding a taser. Furious, Beckett snapped a foot out at the hand. The taser went spinning across the room, but Castle didn't stop jerking. _Fuck. There must be a dial or a switch. Not a trigger. Damn it, Castle, hang on._ She scrambled over his twitching body.

"Shh. I'm sorry. I got it. Hold on." Her fingers trembled as she spun the dial to zero. He continued to roll on the floor, but most of the tension leaked away. She rested a hand on his face as it spasm-ed and looked up in time for a palm to connect with her cheek.

She face stinging, blood filling her mouth, jaw clicking painfully flew back, but then clawed her way to her feet as Lone Ranger stalked over Rick's body. He tried to tangle up his legs but Lone Ranger over stepped easily, knocking away Castle's hands with a foot.

Kate lashed out with a closed fist, clipping his jaw before he blocked her attack and parried with a jab to the kidneys. It knocked the breath out of her in a whoosh and she swung blindly. Her knuckles brushed his chest and he caught her hand, twisting and jerking it up behind her back, and pulling until it was dangerously close to out of socket.

"That would have been a good idea." He growled in Kate's ear, "Flanking the door. Except our lovely camera there is synced up to my phone. I was watching you as I unlocked the door. But a valiant effort none the less." His lips brushed the shell of her ear and she shuddered.

"Kate." Castle gasped from the ground, still struggling to get any control of his limbs.

"Try all you want, Writer Monkey. That short burst of high voltage's gonna keep you down for quite some time." He was about to say more, but Kate's free elbow twisted around and connected solidly with his solar plexus. Lone Ranger wheezed as Kate made to squirm out of his grip. She made it about 3 feet before he threw himself on top of her, flattening them both to the ground. Her body jarred, protruding hip bones smashing into the concrete. Castle did some kind of little wriggle in her direction but didn't get far.

"This would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell me where you were on the case, Kate." His breathing was ragged from her elbow's recent meeting with his chest and he was an unwelcome heavy weight on top of her.

"We don't know anything," she growled back, bucking to remove him. It did nothing.

"Stop the lies, Kate and I won't have to do this." There was a knife. Just like the knife Lanie had said killed Jolene Bakeman. Like the one that had killed her mother.

"Not lies," she grunted, shifting and turning, frantic to get out of the compromising situation with the knife wielding psycho, "There was another case on the smart board. We were-"

The knife plunged and Castle screamed, "No!" but all he accomplished was flopping forward like a fish out of water. A shot of adrenaline shot through Kate and she managed to twist away. But the knife and its wielder were faster. The blade slashed through the right side of her shirt and gouged into her flesh. Kate couldn't help it. She screamed. The searing pain was ripping her apart. Far off, she heard Castle yelling, shouting, and the soft flumping noise that meant he was fighting to master his muscles to get to her, but he couldn't. Nothing was really clear though, everything thoroughly eclipsed by the tear in her side.

Blood poured from the gash, which ran from the bottom of her ribs on the side, to half way to her belly button. The front of her blue shirt was almost instantly stained darker. Lone Ranger went limp above her and then he was gone, skittering away from her, knife loosely from his fingers.

"Oh God. What have I done?" his eyes were glued to the ever growing stain. His mask had slipped in the struggle and Kate could finally tell who he was. A fleck of thin red hair peeked out from under the hood and the piercing dark eyes were suddenly familiar.

"Johnson?" she wheezed and the man's trance was broken. He turned and bolted, tripping over Castle in his haste to get out the door. It slammed hard, locks grating into place.

"Kate?" The world was a jumble of excruciating pain and confusion. _Pressure. _she thought dully, _put pressure on it._

"Kate, answer me."

"'M right here, Rick. 'M okay." Her fingers crept down, fumbling over the slick skin until she found the actual torn skin and pressed down. The pain almost made her black out.

"Keep talking to me, Kate. How big is it?"

_How big..? _She couldn't think. Every breath pulled at her side, ripping her further and further open, exposing every nerve. _Goddammit Kate. Focus. _

"Uh… about four inches. 'S not too deep though." _Liar. _It was probably one of the worse injuries she'd ever received. Long and deep and painful as hell. For half a second, she considered trying to push herself up, but she was positive that that would make it worse

"I'm almost there, Kate, just keep talking to me. You're doing great."

"Don't patronize me," she slurred, trying to find some semblance of normalcy between them.

He chuckled, "Not patronizing. Reassuring."

"It's Johnson, Castle. Lone Ranger is Johnson."

"I know Kate, I heard you before."

"But why? He always seemed like such a nice guy. Mild mannered. I don't understand where he gets his rocks off hurting us."

"He's probably schizophrenic or something. Man, I couldn't have written it this way, even. The scene where a cop was revealed to be the killer and-"

"Castle, shut up," she groaned, trying to roll on her left side. Bad plan. Moving in general was a bad plan.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." there was a thud by her head and she turned to find a still spasming Castle resting at her side. Sweat was pouring over his face and he looked to be in an immeasurable amount of physical discomfort. His eyes showed the real pain.

"Kate." He was choking and she couldn't move her hands away from her side to comfort him.

"I'm okay, shhh." Her eye lids were growing heavy and blinking was a chore.

"No you're not. We've got to stop the bleeding."

"How? Can't move." Her eyes fluttered shut. _Just for a second. I'll re open them in 3… 2…1… 3…2…_

"Give me like two minutes. I'll take off my undershirt and tie it around you. Just as soon as my arms stop shaking. stay awake. Come on."

There was a puddle under Kate, deep scarlet and spreading. Her hands were permanently dyed the color and her shirt was done. A jerking hand came to rest against her cheek.

"I'm so sorry. Just stay awake for me for a few more minutes. Kate damn it, open you eyes!" And she tried. She really, really did. But it was like lifting dumbbells with a pinky. Impossible. Everything was slipping away and even as she heard Rick's screaming and swearing, she envisioned him. Red faced and shaking, pounding a fist to the ground. Then to when they were in his study. The way his face had paled when they'd talked about Alahnis and the glimmer in his eyes when she asked him to stay in bed with her. The way he looked at Alexis and his mother and sometimes her. The devotion, the _love_. Two muddled thoughts worked their way through her sluggish mind before it was all too much and the black closed over her.

_God, please let him get out of here._

_Rick, I love you._


	9. Chapter 9

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Alright. Well... I'm sorry I left ya hangin' for so long. I knew how I wanted this to happen the words just wouldn't come. It was so dumb. But now.. I think it works. I liked writing this one. I'm not sure if it's up to par but ... I like it so. yeah. Critique, thoughts, Reviews in general are always appreciated :) Enjoy!**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 9

Kate woke to a tugging around her middle that was accompanied by an incredible amount of pain. She gasped, nails gouging into her palms as she tried to suppress the building scream.

"Kate," Her eyes were rolling, searching the steely expanses for a fleck of blue, any kind of respite. She finally found them, swimming with tears. _Castle._

"Hey," she worked her voice into something closer to normal than if would have come out originally.

There were trembling fingers on her cheek, "Oh, Kate." She was sitting in something wet and cold. The floor was covered with something… red. _Oh shit. That's a lot of blood. Is that all mine?_

"I'm here. How're you feeling?" Lifting a hand to touch his face shouldn't have been that hard. She almost withdrew; her hands were stained sanguine. Castle didn't seem to care, taking her hand and pressing it against his face

"Better now that you're awake." He sighed, leaning into her hand.

"How long was I out?"

"Maybe 10 minutes. Long enough for me to get my undershirt off to wrap around you."

"Oh, I missed it." The blood loss was making her light headed and therefore her filter wasn't operating on all cylinders. Oops.

He laughed, stroking a thumb over her cheek, "Plenty of time for that later. For right now, I need you to sit up."

"Why?" the thought of moving was agonizing.

"I can't tie the shirt off tight enough to keep pressure on it. You're…" his face paled, "You've lost a lot of blood."

Her hand found his, "Okay. Give me a sec." She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the pain she knew was coming. _Just get it done with, don't let him see the pain, come on, Kate._

"Okay. When I sit up, synch the shirt and tie it off okay? Fast as you can."

"Hold on, Kate. Wait a minute, get your strength."

"No, Castle, I want to get this done. Just… Do it fast."

"Okay. On three. One." Her muscles taughtened and she forced away the nerves that bubbled in her stomach.

"Two." Her throat caught and she clenched a fist, pressing it to the floor.

"Three." His hand was under her back and she was up right and oh God the world was spinning and surely she was ripping in half.

Distantly, she could hear Castle saying… something, trying to be encouraging, she figured, but the world was pain and he needed to shut the hell up. There was a yank around her middle and the pain simultaneously increased and lessened. She groaned at the feeling , breaking her nails clawing into the cement floor.

Castle stopped pulling the ends of his shirt and pressed his lips to Kate's hair, cocooning her against his chest, "Shhh. Kate. I'm done. You did great. I'm done, baby. You're gonna be okay. I promise." She was trembling, a leaf on the wind about to scatter into a million piece.

It was several moments before the shaking lessened some and she was able to turn her face to his neck, "Baby? Really, Castle?"

Relief rushed through him and he barked out a laugh, "Sorry. When Alexis was little… It's just a habit, I guess."

"What, did you bind a bunch of gaping wounds in your days as Mr. Mom?" she teased breathily at his skin.

He fought a shudder at the warm tendrils of her breath curled against his throat, the barest hint of her lips. _Even here… what she does to me… _"Well, I wouldn't say bruised knees and scraped elbows qualify as gaping wounds, but…"

"Thank you." She murmured back, ending the awkward pause that succeeded his statement.

"Seriously? Are you thanking me for making sure you didn't bleed out?"

"No. Well maybe. Just thank you. For always being there and everything."

"That's what partners are for." He nudged her cheek with his nose.

"Partners." She sighed back, tucking her head closer into his neck. Her eye lashes ghosted over his jaw and he could feel her muscles becoming slack.

"Yes, and so much more," He whispered, fighting a muscle spasm in his arm in favor of pulling her closer."

"Like the sound of that. Have to get out of here first though." She was all but limp in his arms. It had taken all her strength to sit up and have him tie the shirt around her.

"We will, babe. I promise."

She snorted and instantly regretted the way her body jerked with it, "Babe? I'm gonna twist your ear for that one, kitten." Her arm twitched against his chest but they both knew that she wouldn't in her current state

"No you won't. At least not right now and I'm going to enjoy myself while this continues."

"Who's mocking injuries now?"

"Hush, honey."

"You're asking for it, aren't you?"

"And to be clear 'it' is a twisted ear and not something else."

She giggled, pressing her ear to his heart, "Either one."

"It's the pain talking, hon." He sighed, pressing his lips to her neck, "Later."

"Not the pain," her eyes were slipping closed and he leaned back against the wall.

"Okay, it's not the pain." He had that tone again, the tone that made her think he was talking to a little girl version of herself.

"Don't patronize…" she was out before she could finish reprimanding him.

XXX

Three days passed. Three agonizing, cold, dehydrated days. Johnson didn't reappear in the room, simply sliding the tray through the door before quickly slamming it back. The trays now held bruised apples and stale, crusty bread. Only one water bottle was sent in at a time, the second one already open. Both Castle and Beckett were wary of that and refused to drink it.

Rick's muscles had developed a slightly worrying habit of twitching at random times and they assumed that it was because of the copious doses of electricity that had been administered recently. Kate was worried that he might have some kind of brain damage but every time she brought it up, he would brush it off, joking that any brain damage had been inflicted years and years previously. She was not amused when this happened so eventually she just let it drop.

Kate's gash had deteriorated alarmingly quickly. Even covered in his shirt, it had clearly become severely infected. Her shirt over his was crunchy with dried blood and rustled weirdly against the makeshift bandage when she shifted. At one point, they took the shirt off and Castle went white. The skin around the slash had turned bright red and as his finger neared it, he could feel the heat radiating off of it in waves. White-yellow pus had gathered at the edges of it as it continued to ooze blood sluggishly. When he did make contact with the skin, the lightest brushing of his fingertips, she hissed, clenching her fists, "Castle."

"Sorry," he jerked back quickly and unfurled her hands. A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.

The next day was even worse. As stoutly as she insisted that she felt fine, she was burning up but curled in as much of a ball for warmth as she could be. He tried to pull her against him, share his body heat, but she stiffened at the shift in movement and he backed away, settling for running his fingers through her hair and rubbing the junction between her neck and shoulder which was tighter than any he'd ever felt.

"Kate." His arm twitched and he grimaced as he accidentally hit her in the ear, "Sorry."

"It's okay." She shuddered, trying to mask her quaking jaw and control the shaking that caused her shoulders to twitch, "Get that checked out as soon as we get out of here though. Fix it up, check for brain damage," she forced a chuckle at her own feeble joke and adjusted her arms around her knees.

"You cold?" he asked, staunchly ignoring her comments, wanting nothing more

than to hold her.

"'M okay."

"Damn it, Kate."

"Stop worrying, Castle."

"Like hell I will! Something's seriously wrong and you're acting like you've got a slight cold."

"It's nothing. Drop it." her so steely tone was far from the usual terrifying timbre that it would have been laughable if it didn't scare him so much.

"No! Kate, you've got a serious infection going and if we don't do something-"

"What the hell _can_ we do, Rick?" she was yelling now, a sure sign that she was scared.

"I-"

"Because the way I see it, we are where we are right now and if I have an infection then who the fuck cares because there's nothing we can do about it. We aren't going to try the door thing again because I am _not_ going to let him taser you again!"

"If it'll help, then I'll-" But he didn't finish because she was suddenly leaning away from him, retching, only bring up bile and the few sips of good water they'd had left in their first water bottle.

"Oh, Kate." He was at her back in an instant, gathering the hair away from her face and pulling it behind her head, stroking the beads of sweat off the back neck, "Kate."

She couldn't fight the whimper that snuck between her lips as she straightened from her hunched position and tried to push him away, "Get out of here, you don't need to be-"

"Hush." He went to kiss her cheek, but got a mouthful of hair as she turned away again, coughing and retching on an empty stomach that only made her feel like she was ripping further. _God this is almost worse than getting shot. But… This time I have Castle._

She felt stupid for… wanting him so much, for relying on him sometimes. She was a strong independent woman. She didn't need _anyone._ But some how… when he was around she felt amplified, a million times stronger. Except right now.

Over her hacking, she could hear Castle growling, "God damn it, Johnson, get her out of here. Keep me here, do whatever the hell you want but get her help. Damn it Johnson, get her out." Her heart clogged her throat further along with a cottonball sized lump that lodged itself slightly in front of it and her choking redoubled. _God please, no. Don't leave him here. _

When her body had finished trying to divest itself of her organs, she slumped forward, feeling like a sack of jello, utterly incapable of movement.

There were arms under her lifting her and Castle's sporadic breathing was in her ear.

"No." Somehow her hand ended up on the side of his face and she was staring into his eyes.

"Kate, I can't leave you lying on the floor next to-"

"I'm not leaving without you. Package deal. Partners, remember?"

"You don't have a choice. If he's going to get you help, I'm not letting you stay here."

"You can't make me do anything." The venom in her voice fell blatantly flat.

"I think I can take you. Just for right now."

"Wouldn't go." She promised, setting her jaw and clawing a shaky hand at his shoulder.

"Shhh." He rocked back and forth slightly. _Damn it, Ryan, Esposito. Where are you?_

"Quit shushing me, Castle."

"Sorry."

"And stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

She looked up at him, nose crinkled and he couldn't help the smile that over took him.

"Cute, Beckett. Wish I had my camera." He leaned down, brushing his lips over hers. She pulled back quickly, covering her mouth in embarrassment.

"Castle, I just-"

"Don't care." His mouth was back on hers, suddenly desperate and he was kissing her until they both stopped shaking. If only for a little while.

XXX

Kate woke, not remembering having fallen asleep. The warm weight of Castle's head in her lap had disappeared, leaving her cold and disoriented. She'd browbeaten him into sleeping, swearing that she was awake enough to keep watch. He'd barely slept since her… stabbing. Claimed that adrenaline was keeping him going but she could see the way he would nod off for seconds before jerking upright and trying to pass off the sudden movement as a spam. She'd finally put her foot down and forced his head into her lap, stroking her hands over his hair and neck until (and even after) he fell asleep.

She glanced up around the room and was surprised to find Johnson leaning over her to her right, a red kit next to his knees.

Adrenaline kicked through her veins and she scrambled away in the least painful manner possible.

"Shh, Kate, I'm sorry. I'm here to fix it." His hand drifted to the knotted shirt around her middle and she scooted back further.

_Castle. Where's Castle? _ Her whipped to the right and there he was, knelt a few feet away, hands tied in front of him.

"Castle." She started to move toward him but fell back, groaning at the white hot pain that shot through her abdomen. He stretched out his hands to her but didn't get far at the flash of a gun under Johnson's coat.

"Rest now, Kate. I'm going to fix you up," His fingers were unknotting the tie in the shirt and she squirmed away.

"Stop, get away from me."

"No, Kate I'm here to help you." He rested his hand way too high on her thigh and she shuddered.

His fingers were back, tugging away the undershirt and she winced as her shirt drifted down over the wound.

"Oh dear, Kate," His voice, she supposed, was intended to be caring and like a caress but it just reminded her that Castle was the one that usually did it and she couldn't get past the fact that he had _electrocuted _Castle multiple times.

Johnson reached out to trail a finger over the wound but Castle balked, "Don't touch her."

She winced as soon as he opened his mouth. _No. No, Damn it, Castle shut up, he was going to ignore you. _

"I'm here to help her, Castle." Johnson said calmly, "She's hurt. You let her get hurt and now I have to fix her."

"_I_ got her hurt? Johnson, you stabbed her!"

"Because you didn't protect her!" Both men were shouting by then and Castle was wrestling with the ropes that bound his wrists.

"You electrocuted me, I couldn't move!"

"Well then I guess your loved failed twice then didn't it?" Johnson sneered and Castle lunged toward him. Johnson clearly anticipated it and his elbow cracked across his cheek.

Castle fell back spluttering but something had changed in Johnson. Where he'd been caressing and careful and ginger before he was rough and suddenly inexorably angry.

"Up," he growled, clamping a hand around her right arm and yanking her to her feet. Kate stumbled, trying to keep her eyes on Castle who was blinking heavily and doing her best to remain conscious herself. Dehydration, lack of proper nutrients, and the infection were hitting her hard and it was taking everything she had just to stay awake and standing.

"I always figured that it would come to this but I never meant for it to be so soon. I thought to myself 'Oh, one of them will crack first, if I put them through enough, but... you two are just too tough to crack."

Rick had managed to haul himself into a sitting position and had his eyes locked with Kate's. The left side of his face was swelling and already sprouting several violet bruises. _I'm okay. We'll get out of this. It'll be okay. _He wasn't sure if she got his attempted telepathic messages.

"I really didn't want it to come to this. I didn't. But ... I don't know what else to do." It was almost as if Johnson were speaking to himself, though he seemed to be addressing his prisoners. Terror built in Kate's stomach. Nothing good could ever come of those kinds of statements.

Suddenly the gun was in his hand, leveled at Rick's head and his finger was on the trigger.

"No!" Beckett acted without thinking and launched herself at Johnson. They went down rolling. She got a punch to his kidneys before his hand had closed over her wrist and with a sickening pull, twist, and thunk, it popped out of place.

She was pinned underneath him again in a haze of pain, abdomen and wrist burning away the aches of the rest of her body.

"Kate!" Castle finally stumbled to his feet. Rage surged through him. He was done watching this ass hole hurt her. He swung a leg at Johnson's knees. Milliseconds before it connected, Johnson twisted, grabbed his leg and hit him squarely in the chest. Castle was down for the third time that day, trying desperately to force some air back into his lungs. _ Fuck._

"I don't know why I didn't think of this before. It would have made much more sense." Johnson was hauling Kate back up to her feet, left hand pinning hers around her front, pressing into the gash which had started to bleed again. He forced the gun into her limp right hand, using the dislocation to his advantage. Their fingers wrapped together, his over hers, around the butt of the gun and aimed at Castle.

All the breath left her body and she was gasping as hard as he was. _No. Nonononono. This can't-_

"Last chance, Kate. Only last chance you're gonna get. What have you learned about the case? Just tell me and we can do this in a civil way."

She wasn't paying attention to him anymore though. All hope was gone. Castle was down for the count and she was being forced to hold a gun on him. They were both weak. A tear slid down her face. _No this can't be the end. No until-_

"Castle." She choked on his name and took a shuddering breath as he met her eyes.

"Kate, it's going to be okay. Just close your eyes, it'll be okay."

"Castle, I love you. I'm sorry. I love you." Johnson's fingers were tightening around hers and her finger was hovering over the trigger, much as she was fighting him.

"You picked a hell of a time to tell me, Kate," Castle laughed, staring back up at her, tears in his eyes as well, "I love you too. Close your eyes. It'll be okay."

"Castle." Hands tightening, tears falling, hope failing, "I love you. I'm so sorry."

A shot rang out. All hell broke loose.


	10. Chapter 10

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Again, here I am, updating later than I planned. Sorry :P Graduation and parties and family stuff has been eating up my time. And other shit's been going down and requiring my brain power and focus where I wish it didn't have to. But Anyway, I cranked out this chapter. Got a little lost for words near the end... Not so sure about it. I like my idea of the next chapter, not sure when it'll be up. The shit's (See above) about to get muggier and more complicated so ... yeah. :P But anyway. drop me a review if you've got time or something to say. Constructive criticism please? Thoughts? Wishes? Whatever works :) enjoy. **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 10

"NYPD."

"NYPD."

"NYPD"

Everything was chaos. There was screaming and the person who was wrapped around Kate was suddenly limp, his body weight dragging her down with him as something wet slipped over her shoulder. Their landing jarred her head back into Johnson's chin. Dazedly she watched as SWAT member after SWAT member streamed through the door. One peeled off and leaned over Castle and sliced the ropes off his wrists.

Kate's brain took a moment to catch up with what she was seeing but when it did, her breath caught . _He's alive. Oh god, He's alive. I didn't shoot him._

She untangled herself from a feebly stirring Johnson with little patience and threw herself at Castle He looked up as she did, shock etched on his face as he folded his arms around her waist.

"You're alive. I'm sorry. I love you." The three short sentences were spewing from her, a constant buzz low in his ear as she shook and rocked against him, touching him everywhere she could, checking and rechecking for a bullet hole that she hadn't inflicted.

He was trembling just as badly, a hand cupping the back of her head, "Shhh. We're okay. Shhh. God, I love you."

She was half in his lap and the convergence of almost losing Castle, her battered body, and the fear in which they'd been living for the past who knew how long, was finally too much and the tears were unstoppable as they snaked down her face.

"Castle." It came out strangled, bordering on hopeless.

"I know." he was crying too, choking on a sob that he couldn't let out, "I know, baby, we're okay."

"Again with the 'baby.'" she spluttered, pulling her face up to his and seeing the tear tracks on his face for the first time, "I think it can slide for now."

He half laughed, pressing his forehead to hers, "Just this once?"

"Don't push your luck, babe."

"Hold on a minute." She silenced him, bruising their lips with the desperate force behind her kiss. Everything else around them was irrelevant except for the fact that he was still alive, warm, heart beating, breathing, calling her stupid pet names that she secretly loved.

Someone was clearing their throat off to the side and they split apart, Kate hissing in pain at the jump over her gash.

"Well..." Ryan was peering at them from under his SWAT issue helmet, exchanging glances with Esposito to his right, "Good to see you're both still alive."

"Cutting it kinda close there, don't you think?" Beckett asked, still rooted in Rick's arms, almost scared that if she moved, he'd disappear.

"Next time, don't get your asses kidnapped then." Javier said dryly but his three partners could hear barely masked concern. Ryan wasn't hiding it much better.

"Took you long enough to find us." Castle muttered back, adjusting his arm around Beckett to make sure he wasn't anywhere near her injury and cradling her wrist in his other hand, stroking the improper angle of the joint.

"Yeah, well you two should have been able to take down one guy without us."

"Should have, being the operative word." Kate muttered, "You see who it was?"

"Yeah. My bullet caught his shoulder. Bastard whacked his head hard on the floor. He's been out for a while." Ryan sounded pretty proud.

"Can't believe it's him," Esposito muttered, "Can't believe he would..." he trailed off, watching the other SWAT guys secure a still unconscious Johnson's hands behind his back.

"Yeah, we were all shocked." The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and she was starting to feel the dislocation. A numb kind of pain was shooting between her finger tips and elbow.

"You okay, Beckett?" Ryan was peering down at her wrist and Castle turned her arm gently so he could get a better look, "Eesh that looks nasty. That the worst of it?"

Castle opened his mouth before she had a chance. "No. Kate, show them."

"No, It's... I'll get it checked out." She shifted away from him, clambering gracelessly to her feet. It seemed to be then that the boys finally noticed the blood staining the lower portion of her navy shirt.

"Kate, why are you bloody?" Esposito's hand shot out to steady her as she stumbled, blinking hard to retain the consciousness to which she now clung.

Castle came up behind her and tugged the side of her shirt up far enough for the boys to catch a glimpse of her enflamed side.

"Castle." she pushed his hand away, but he twisted his around, locking their fingers together.

"Beckett, we need to get you to the hospital right now. Come on, there's an ambulance out front." Ryan started to lead the way out of the room, Esposito and Rick flanking Kate as they went.

Beckett shook off Castle's hand and as she did, his arm spasmed, sending his hand jerking forward. Ryan and Esposito stared at him, "Dude."

"Johnson shot him with some kind of taser. He's been doing that for a couple of days now." _Ahh Payback's a bitch, Rick._She thought as Castle shot her a look.

"It's nothing." he tried to say but Ryan cut him off.

"Save it. You're off to the hospital too. Not that you weren't already but... Alexis would never forgive us if we let you go without making sure you got that checked. She's..." Ryan cleared his throat, trying not to look at Castle, "She's been a mess, man."

Castle sighed a heavy groan, "How did she even-"

"You guys have been gone for five days."

That knocked the breath out of both of them. _Five days._ How had what felt like an eternity only been five days?

"How much did you guys tell her?" Castle asked between gritted teeth.

"Much as we thought you 'd want her to know." Esposito promised, "She wasn't always happy with that but..."

"I know. Thank you." The father in him was throwing a fit. How could he have let it get to this? His daughter, his baby girl was being forced to become a prematurely old woman. It made him sick to his stomach.

Kate could feel the inner turmoil grinding him down with every step they took and she wound her hand back into his. He squeezed hard and didn't let go the entire ambulance ride to the hospital.

XXX

As it turned out, they were both better and worse off than they expected. Castle had a minor concussion, severely strained intercostals on almost all of his rib, several of which were bruised, 4 puncture marks on his chest from the taser, and a hairline fracture on his cheek bones. He was dehydrated and a little undernourished but that was nothing an overnight stay in the hospital and an some IV fluids couldn't fix. The tremors, they said, were caused by damaged neural pathways and would stop within a week.

Kate also had a minor concussion, moderate dehydration and a nourishment level similar to her partner's but on top of those, there was the severely infected gash on her right side, a cracked bottom rib on the same side, and a dislocated wrist that required surgery to fix. Castle barely had time to smooth his hand down her cheek and promise to be there when she woke up before they whisked her away to the OR.

His reunion with Alexis was emotional to say the least. She and Martha had returned from the Hamptons a couple of days previously to find an vacant loft, Castle's and Beckett's personal effects being the only clues that something was wrong. After about a minute of trying to stay strong, she cracked under the pressure and he pulled her against his battered chest as she sobbed, whispering reassurance. Martha didn't stop running her fingers through her son's hair and kissing his forehead the entire time, masking her tears with a shaky vibrato that she quickly gave up.

Alexis tried to pull away when she had stopped sobbing so violently and remembered his injuries but he would have none of it, keeping her beside him in the hospital bed and brushing her hair.

"Dad." her voice was strangled and the tears he'd been studiously keeping back threatened again, "Don't do that ever again."

"Oh pumpkin," he kissed her temple, rocking them back and forth," I won't. Never again. I'm so sorry."

The three were quiet for a time, Castle pulling his mother down to sit at his other side, clutching her hand.

"How's Kate?" Martha asked eventually. Alexis lifted her head from his shoulder to hear his answer.

"I ... She'll be okay. You'll see. I don't..." He cleared his throat and started again, "It took me forever to convince them to let her stay in the same room with me, but I promised to be there when she woke up and since they won't let me move... It's going to be rough for a while. The man that...took us," his mother and daughter shuddered at that and he held them tighter, "He was a cop. She's going to have a hard time trusting anyone aside from her core team again."

"Did anyone call her dad?" Alexis lay her head back down on his shoulder.

"I think Ryan did. Kate told him not to but... well they'd already promised to tell him when they found us and I'm pretty sure rule-of-boss's- father trumps rule- of -boss."

Martha and Alexis chuckled and Castle silently congratulated himself for his accomplishment.

Two hours later, all three of them were hanging somewhere between awake and sleeping. Castle had tried to tell them to go home, but Alexis refused to leave his side. Martha had coaxed her into chairs that she'd pulled up to the bedside his bed and finally the teen succmbed to the exhaustion and lay her head in her grandmother's lap.

The lights from the city filtered through the blinds, illuminating the darkest corners of the room. Why was surgery taking so long? All they had to do was pop her wrist back in, right? _Maybe they're cleaning out the gash. Oh god, what if something went wrong? What if they're doing surgery on her again? What if...? _Being away from her for so long, after everything they'd been through, especially at night was killing him.

There was a soft knock on the door that pulled him out of his tailspin of anguish. Martha's eyelashes fluttered and Alexis wrinkled her nose but otherwise they didn't move.

"Come in." Castle whispered across the room.

The door creaked open and Jim Beckett looked in. Castle sat up straighter and then winced as his body protested.

"Don't move on my account, Rick." Jim slipped the door shut behind him, smiling softly at the two red headed women, as he crossed the room "Good to see someone can get some sleep." It certainly didn't look like he'd gotten any recently. His hair was ruffled in a way that suggested that a comb was not what had been running through it recently. His red plaid shirt was slightly wrinkled and his eyes were sunken in their sockets above deep, purple crescents. _A father going through hell. Again._ Ricks' stomach knotted at the sight of him.

"I won't be able to sleep without seeing Kate first," Castle sighed, dropping his head back onto the pillows and closing his eyes, willing Kate to be there when he opened them.

"I haven't slept soundly since the two of you disappeared." Jim took the chair at the other side of Castle's bed and sat near his head so that they could continue to speak.

"I'm sorry." Rick mumbled, "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect her."

"Rick." The snap in Mr. Beckett's voice when he used Castle's first name made him look up, "It's not your fault. They told me... what they think happened to you. You were tased several times. and beaten. There was nothing you could have done. I'm just glad that you're both alright." The emotion in Jim's voice was enough to close Castle's throat further.

"Thank you." They were quiet for a moment before Jim spoke again.

"What did he want from you?"

"To know what we knew about the case. Kate thinks that since we were using my Smart Board for the current case, he thought we were working on her mom's case. I guess Kate told you about..." Jim saved him finishing his sentence by nodding. "But we didn't know anything. He didn't believe us."

"Katie's letting go of it. She's promised me she's letting go. And then... one of her cops is in on it..." Jim's head was in his hands, fingers combing through his thinning hair, "Try to keep her away from it. Please."

It was a strangled plea, a last hope of a beaten down father. Castle's heart ached, "I will." he barely choked out, "I promise I will."

"You're good for her, Rick," Kate's father lifted his head, offered the writer a smile, "She's happier when you're around, when she talks about you. Thank you for that."

"Always." He responded out of habit, and then felt embarrassed but Jim seemed to accept the promise without question.

It was almost 15 minutes later when they finally brought her in. Jim's head lolled to the side as he absently skimmed a magazine. Castle was watching his mother and daughter, but jerked up as a couple of interns rolled Kate's bed into the empty space next to his.

_She looks so small_, he mused, watching as her father crept to her side and took her hand, pressing his lips first to it and then her forehead. _The last time she was here..._ He didn't allow himself to finish the thought, didn't permit the gut-churning images from their last visit to the hospital to permeate the forefront of his mind. _She's fine. She'll be fine._

A black cast encased her right arm three quarters of the way to her elbow and several drip bags, aside from the IV, were hooked up to her left arm. _Antibiotics,_ he guessed, watching her sleep and feeling the tension leaking from his chest.

"Hey, Katie," Jim whispered, perched on the edge of her bed.

"Dad," her mouth was dry and the rest of her words caught on her tongue.

"Yeah, I'm right here, Katie." Jim leaned over and pressed his lips to Kate's forehead before taking a cup of water and holding the straw to her lips. she sipped for a couple second before she was spluttering and fighting against cup.

"Dad, where's Castle?" she wasn't sure where the panic was stemming from but suddenly she was drowning in it. _Where is he? God, Where is he?_

Castle was at her side in seconds, pain gone, worry replacing it. He'd been meaning to step back and leave them with as much time as he and Alexis had had, but the rawness in her voice cut through him and he couldn't help but need to be near her. Judging from the expression on her father's face, he was glad of the fact.

"Kate. Hey. I'm right here." he ran his fingers lightly over the deep bruising that coated her cheek.

The tension visibly leaked from her body as she leaned into his hand, "Castle."

"Yeah. How're you feeling?" He smiled as a dopey grin replaced the panicked grimace.

"Hate anesthetic. World's spin-y again. Makes me feel dumb."

"Go back to sleep, Kate. You'll feel better second time around. "

"I know that. Been under before," but her words were slurring and she was sliding back under already.

"I know you know. Just sleep for now."

"You should go lay down. Just as screwed up as I am." her eyes had slipped shut.

"Okay. I'll go back to lay down. We'll be here when you wake up."

"Stop patronizing me." she grumbled. He chuckled and kissed her temple. Jim smiled at their interaction and strode around to the other side of his daughter's bed

"Not patronizing, Kate."

"Are too." Her nose wrinkled suddenly and she tried to force her eyes open again, but only managed to crack them, "Martha and 'Lexis. They okay?"

"They're fine. Look." he moved just enough for her to catch a glimpse of his snoozing family.

"Okay. Good. Now go lay down." her eyes closed again.

"Okay, I'm going." he kissed her cheek, forgetting that her father was sitting not two feet away and whispered, "I love you." The sentiments stuck a little on the way up, not sure if she'd be okay with it.

She didn't seem to mind. "Love you too." Even uttered in a cracked, half whisper it was still the second best thing he'd ever heard. (the first obviously being Alexis calling him 'Dada' for the first time.)

And then she was asleep again, right arm propped on a couple of pillows at her side, Jim's hand resting just above the brace. Castle couldn't even look at her father as he crawled back into his bed, trying to move as little as possible, fractured cheek sparking with pain as he grinned at his partner's sleeping form.

Kate was definitely more coherent when she woke the second time. Alexis had woken at one point, incredibly thirsty, and half shrieked when she caught sight of the detective rubbing her eyes and staring at the brace on her arm.

Fortunately, only her father, who was well attuned to his daughter's voice, woke as she clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Hey, Alexis. Have a nice time in the Hamptons?" Beckett tried to smile encouragingly, but Alexis was already tearing up and taking a few tentative steps to her side, before sinking down next to her hip.

"Gah Lex, don't cry. Why're you crying?" Kate took her hand and glanced at Castle, who had sidled up behind his daughter.

"I don't even know!" She half blubbered, sniffing, "I just can't stop crying now!"

"Ohh." Beckett chuckled softly and hugged Alexis with her good arm, rubbing her back lightly, "It's okay."

"I know," Castle's daughter reined herself in quickly, wiping her eyes and sitting up after a couple of moments, "I'm just so glad you guys are okay." Kate smiled up at her and took her hand, running her thumb along the girl's knuckles. Alexis clutched it tight.

"How're you feeling?" Castle turned to find Kate looking up at him expectantly .

"Me? Oh I'm fine." His leg twitched and he had to hold onto the rails of her bed to keep from falling.

"Oh really?" She nodded at his bed, "Go sit back down, Castle, before you fall and give yourself a worse concussion or fracture that cheek more."

"But Kate..."

"Dad." Alexis gave him an almost identical look to Beckett and he pouted even more heavily but returned to his bed, grumbling about getting teamed up on.

The next day broke on an almost empty room. It had been nearly two in the morning when Rick and Kate had finally convinced their families to go home for a proper night's sleep in real beds. Martha and Alexis insisted that Jim take the guest bedroom at the loft so that he could come in early with them to see his daughter. The three had left together after very long goodbyes.

Sometime just before three, Castle was shaking Kate out of a violent nightmare. It took her several minutes to control the shaking and to get her breathing back under control even cradled against Castle's chest.

"What happened?" He whispered, combing his fingers through her hair and easing them back onto the pillows, taking note of which movements caused her to wince in pain.

"You died. I shot you and you... died and Alexis was screaming. I couldn't breathe and then Johnson was standing in a corner laughing and my dad was yelling at me and you were just lying there in a pool of red..." She trailed off, trying to swallow the terror that was clawing its way out of her throat.

Castle could feel her tensing again and pulled her tighter to him, forcing her hand onto his chest, ignoring the flare of pain, "I'm right here." he parroted her words from their prison back to her, trying to relieve some of her anxiety. She leaned up and kissed him hard. He responded just as fervently, convincing her that he was indeed _right there_. The steady thrum of blood circulating, keeping him alive, seemed to soothe her and eventually both dropped back off to sleep.

A shaft of light slashed across his eyelids, staining the insides pink. He blinked in the bright light and then groaned at the knife between his eyes. _Yeah... Sun plus concussion definitely equals bad._ He turned his head away from the offensive brightness and buried his face in Kate's hair. She snuffled some, tightened her fingers around his shirt under his fingers but didn't wake. Someone had washed her hair and it smelled like the generic soap found in public bathroom, completely the wrong smell, but her scent was resting just under the surface, teasing his senses.

_We're alive. _Damn, that felt good. Yes, they'd been kidnapped and effectively held by _one_ guy for almost a week, but that man... he was trained, fully capable of dispatching them with little effort. He couldn't lie, he felt lucky to be alive, lucky that she was alive.

_But why was Johnson even involved? How was he involved? Was he even around for those cases?_ Castle couldn't remember. His head was still throbbing and all he wanted to do was sleep again and worry about this later.

He'd just closed his eyes, face back in her hair, kissing the side of her neck, when a knock came at the door.

_What now?_


	11. Chapter 11

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**This took a lot longer to write than I wanted it to but once I got it going… man it ran away. This is the longest one. Hopefully no one's OOC (I feel like Kate might be a little but… I dunno. What do you think?" I've been hurtling towards this point since I started this story and I wasn't sure where Johnson was going to go but… I think I've figured him out and his part in all of this. It'll be interesting in the next few. Um. Yeah. So . tell me what you think? Constructive criticism, what you want to happen, speculation, anything really. I love review and thoughts and such… Any way, Enjoy :)**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 11

"Come in." He called in a whisper, not shifting Kate from his chest. _Whoever they are, they'll just have to deal with-_

"Hey Castle," Ryan stepped into the room, Esposito in tow, "How're you-" They stopped short at the sight of her cradled against him.

"She okay?" Espo stepped up, ever the Momma's boy.

Castle smiled, "She will be. Pain drugs made her kinda loopy, but she's better now. Had a nightmare though."

"That doesn't qualify as better," Ryan commented.

"Well she's asleep now, isn't she?"

"What about you bro? How're you doin'?" The boys took the chairs vacated by Martha and Alexis and dragged them over to Kate's bedside.

"As long as she's alright, I am." He spoke before he realized what he was saying and who it was to, "Can we pretend that's the pain meds talking?"

"Not a chance." Esposito chucked, nudging Ryan, "Man, he sounds like you and Jenny."

Ryan smiled at his partner indulgently (opting not to refer to Lanie at this particular juncture; He'd save that ammunition for later) and gave Castle a look, "Seriously, dude, are you-"

"I'll be fine. No lasting damage. Why're you guys here?"

"Well... ah." Espo shot their sleeping boss an almost timid look and glanced back at Castle.

"Does she need to be awake for this?"

"Kinda, yeah." Neither partner was willing to wake her though. They'd been on the receiving end of her wakening wrath more than once at the precinct and weren't keen to experience it again. She was not a happy riser usually. Better let Castle get the brunt of that…

"Kate." He smoothed some hair out of her face and trailed his fingers over her arm, "Kate, wake up."

Her eyelids fluttered and then cracked open.

"Hey," He smiled down at her, sappy and infatuated, and the boys vowed never to let him live down the look he was giving her now… or the one she was giving him in return for that matter.

"You okay?" Kate tripped her fingers against his chest, realizing she'd been laying on it almost all night and started to shift away, "Sorry, are you-"

"I'm fine, Kate. Boys are here."

Her head snapped up to the partners who were caught somewhere between smirking and looking on indignantly as he woke her with no fuss.

"Hey, Javi, Ryan." She levered herself off his chest and patted his knee. He didn't get the signal and left his arm wrapped around her waist, "What's going on?"

"Just making sure you guys are enjoying your time off. Gates is shitting bricks about you two." Esposito sniped good naturedly.

"Yeah, she had us doing all your paper work earlier today. So rest up those hands, Beckett, you've got a lot of _our _paperwork left on that desk of yours."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." She croaked, head drooping to the side, shooting them a weak dirty look. Secretly though, she was happy that they were ribbing her like this. It was more like normal. And even though she was smiling, her head pounded and the world was tippy from all the medication they had her on. Castle, of course, didn't miss a thing and squeezed her side. She winced a little and he cursed himself silently. _You dumbass. _He whispered profuse apologies until she squeezed his knee to quiet him.

"What're you guys doing here so early?"

The joking manner faded from her partners and Kate pulled herself upright again, trying to gain back some of the stature she naturally lost from being in a hospital bed, "What is it?"

"Johnson," Esposito growled, clenching his hands on the arms of his chair.

"He won't talk to anyone but you, Beckett. Keeps insisting about the mission or… or saying…"

"Saying that 'The bitch has to pay for what she did to him.'" Esposito finished, knowing his partner wouldn't, "Or… Something about not meaning it. I don't know. He' talkin' like a crazy guy though."

"He got patched up yesterday, discharged into our custody late last night. Won't say anything unless you're there though, Beckett."

"You guys have any background on him?" Beckett leaned forward, dizziness and aching head shoved to the side.

"Yeah. Apparently he was in the Special Forces, stationed in Syria. IED detonated, concussed him. He was never the same. Became a cop because he couldn't bear to sit still I guess." Espo looked haunted by the new information. They'd been on the same team, specially trained agents, but Johnson… he'd turned into a monster.

Castle jumped in to distract him and Kate couldn't help the hint of a smile that claimed her lips, "Any kind of psych eval we can look into?"

Ryan shrugged, "Gates is working on it but someone buried it deep. We've all called in a lot of favors for this one."

Guilt gnawed at her stomach lining, "Look guys, than-"

"Shut up, boss. You'd do the same."

She smiled at them in thanks and then glanced down at her arm, encased in the black brace, "So when do you think I can get out of here?"

XXX 

As it turned out, not for another day. They wanted to make sure that they had her infection well and truly under control if they were going to release her. Sore, irritated, and inexplicably exhausted, she'd been wheeled back to her room to find that Castle _had_ been discharged. He'd been against it, just like she was, hating to leave her in this place that held all the memories that neither wanted to relive. But the doctors, his family, and (yes) even she had forced him to go home, insisting that he needed normalcy, rest, and a calm environment. Kate just didn't understand why she couldn't go too.

"Oh come on, he's as bad off as I am, if not worse," she groused at the intern pushing her chair.

"Yeah, but there's very little possibility of him getting gangrene from a busted cheek bone or those tiny puncture marks that are already almost healed," replied the petite blonde as the helped Kate totter into her bed, "He just has to rest and drink plenty of fluids for the next couple of days. I'm sure you'll see him soon." With a wink, the girl left, leaving a huffy Beckett behind her.

Her father spent a good part his day in the room with her. It was a welcome distraction from the tests and boredom and anticipation. They watched the Mets and Yankees play and when the Mets won, she didn't gloat too much. He was just grateful that he could be around her. When Esposito had called to see if she and/or Castle were with him, his heart had frozen in his chest. He couldn't lose both of the women he loved to such similar circumstances. When he'd received the all clear call and was told that she was alive and safe, he'd sunk, weak kneed to the floor of his kitchen and expended incredible amounts of energy to calm himself before rushing to see her.

"Dad?" He jerked up, focusing on his daughter's drawn, concerned face, "You okay?"

"Yeah… Yeah Katie, I'm fine. I'm just…" Emotions overwhelmed him temporarily and he had to pause to gather himself before continuing, "I'm so glad that you're okay."

"Dad." Her throat closed and she reached out, clenching her good hand in his, "We're okay, Dad. I'm okay. Be back on the job in no time. Bring Rick to come see you and we'll have dinner more. Please don't worry." She ended up sounding much younger than she intended and a small sob broke her last words.

Jim wasted no time in sitting down in the bed next to her and pulling her to him, brushing his fingers through her frizzy hair and trying to be inconspicuous as he wiped away his own tears, "I know, sweetie. We'll be okay."

He held her for a long while, overjoyed that his big, tough detective daughter still had some of his little Katie still in her.

XXX

She finally made him leave when his stomach was louder than the story he was telling, but he promised to return first thing in the morning to help her get discharged. Jim hugged her a little harder, kissed her one time more than he usually would, and then was gone, back to the loft at the Castles' insistence. _What I wouldn't give to be there too…_She groused, shifting in her bed, trying to find the least painful position but none of them were good enough. _Not without Castle._

_Shit. I am not relying on him to sleep. We've been apart a day. Get over yourself, Beckett. You know he's safe at his house with Martha and Alexis and your dad for god's sake. Get over it. The sooner you fall asleep the sooner you can get out of here._ Kate contorted her body into a position that was semi normal and slammed her eyes shut, counting back from a thousand to belay the thoughts of Castle and his warmth that ought to be next to her until she forced herself to sleep.

The room was stained the purple of midnight tainted by city lights when she was roused by a movement behind her. Panic clogged her throat, amplified by the fact that she was alone and injured in a small dark room, and she whipped around, instantly regretting it as her stitches pulled and her cast clad wrist thunked painfully.

"Shh, Kate it's me." From the depths of the shadows, Castle's face took shape. His arm fell low over her waist, avoiding the stitches as he pulled her back against his chest and closed his eyes.

"Castle." She dug her fingernails into his arm. He yelped.

"What?"

"How… what're… You should be at home."

"I know, I know. I just… I couldn't think about you here alone and I couldn't get comfortable without you and… Please don't make me go home." He whispered the last part against her neck.

"Castle. Your mother and Alexis have been through hell this week. If they wake up and you're gone-"

"I left them notes and text messages and voice mails. Trust me, they'll know where I am."

"You should be at home resting." But even as she said it, she snuggled back further in his arms, half-hoping he wouldn't take her seriously.

"I'm not going anywhere." And relief seeped through her, slightly tainted by guilt. She pushed it away. _Too much effort right now._

"How'd you even get in here?" her eyelids were heavy and her words slurred together. It just felt right having him here with her, "I'm pretty sure visiting hours are over."

"Well, yeah but I know-"

"Know a guy." She finished for him, smirking sleepily, "Why am I not surprised."

He huffed a laugh, warm breath tangling in the baby hairs at the base of her neck, "Just go back to sleep."

"Night." She didn't have the will to fight him now that he was here and warm and holding her in this bed.

"Night." They were quiet for a time, breathing evenly together. Then, her fingers dipped down and twined between his.

"Castle?"

"Hmm?" He was teetering on the edge of sleep, wrapped securely around her.

"I'm glad you're here."

XXX

As soon as the nurses entered her room the next morning, she was asking for the discharge forms. They were none too pleased to find another body inhabiting her bed but grudgingly hand over the papers and she had them signed before her father even arrived. When he did, he brought regular clothes and a blueberry muffin which she split with Castle and scarffed down.

They were out of the hospital by eleven, anti-biotic and pain prescriptions in hand. Jim was heckling Castle about leaving in the middle of the night and leaving him to deal with his slightly hysterical family that morning, but eventually it came out that he was actually happy Castle had gone. Mr. Beckett didn't like the idea of his daughter alone in a hospital. Never again.

Kate was first out of the car when they reached the loft, after getting her medication, and had flagged down a cab by the time Castle and Jim caught up with her.

"Where are you going?" Castle put a hand on her hip, stalling her entrance into the cab.

"Precinct. Johnson will only talk to me so I better get going."

"Katie, there is no way you are going there today."

"Dad, I'm fine. The meds they put me on are probably good for another couple of hours."

"Kate-"

"You gettin' in or what, Lady?" the irritated cabby interrupted, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

"Yes. 12th precinct please." She slid in and made to close the door but Castle was at her side instantly, pressing her to shift to the right more.

"Not letting you go alone at least." He grumbled, "Stubborn, frustrating, harrowing woman."

She laughed, ignoring the tug of stitches in her abdomen and looping her braced arm through his.

Ryan and Esposito were certainly surprised to find see them when they sidled out of the elevator.

"Yo, what're you two doing here?"

"You said Johnson'll only talk to me. Where is he?"

"In lock up." Ryan jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "But, Beckett. Gates'll be pissed if she sees you two."

"So don't let her see us. Get Johnson and put him in Interrogation 1."

She tugged Castle into the observation room behind her as Esposito muttered, "Hasn't even been back a day and she's still bossin' us around."

"What else would you expect, Espo?" She asked, smirking as she shut the door behind them

"I'm not leaving you alone in there, with him, Kate." Castle crowded her back against the door.

"Castle-"

"No, I'm serious. I'm going to be in there with you."

Her eyes narrowed, "Since when did you start calling shots at the precinct, Castle?"

He didn't back away from the ice in her tone, even came close to matching it, "Since he almost killed you."

There was a staring match, which neither of them won because the door opened in the adjacent room and Ryan and Esposito escorted Johnson in.

He looked a little worse for wear. His thinning red hair was mussed and dirty and a sling bound his left arm to his side. His face was a puffy mass of purple and blue, seeming to stem from around his nose and Kate was a little appalled at the satisfaction she gained from knowing she was responsible for that.

"You stay out of it, okay?" Beckett threw over her shoulder as the swept from the room, passed behind the human shield created by Esposito and Ryan and ducked into Interrogation 1.

Castle slipped in behind her and shut the door, choosing to ignore the murderous looks she was giving him. He gestured to the chairs across from Johnson, still refusing to meet her eyes. Beckett gave him one last glower and then took the chair directly opposite their captor-turned-detainee.

He smiled coolly and leaned forward, placing his good arm on the table, "Hey Beckett, how're you feeling?"

"Cut the crap, Johnson. Tell me who you're working for."

"You know," he went on as if she'd said nothing, "I'm really surprised at how quickly they let you out of the hospital. Or maybe there was something about being confined again that made you just desperate to get out against medical advice."

Beckett could feel Castle tense up at her side but ignored him and odd panic that rose in her at the mention of confinement.

"I'm serious, Johnson. My partners said you wouldn't talk to anyone but me. I'm here now, so talk." Her voice was taking on the steely edge of passion and intensity that simultaneously enthralled and terrified Castle. Johnson didn't bat an eye.

"So I suppose your injuries were minor enough that discharge was an easy goal. Damn … I had things planned for you and Mr. Castle, Kate. Things that wouldn't even make cameos in your greatest nightmares. Ah well. Next time."

"I swear, if you ever touch her again-" Castle started but Beckett's nails were back in his arm.

"Castle." She snapped, bringing him out of his rage slightly.

"What could you do, Castle? You couldn't' protect her last time, couldn't protect her when she got shot. Why should next time be any-" With a roar, Castle was on his feet, catching Johnson by the front of his shirt and smashing a fist across the left side of his face. The man dropped to the floor but Castle was there, hauling him to his feet and slamming him into the opposite wall, a hand at his throat.

"If you even think about getting near her, I will be on your tail so fast-"

"Castle." Her voice cracked across the back of his head, just as her good arm closed over his strangling hand. Vaguely she wondered if this was how he felt when she'd smashed Vulcan Simmons into the mirror almost a year ago. Vaguely nervous, shocked, angry, and a smidge… proud. Ryan and Espo leapt through the door, pulling Johnson out of the line of fire and into one corner while Beckett jerked him into the opposite one.

"What the hell, Castle." She hissed, clamping her hand on his arm

"Beckett, I'm sorry, but if he's threatening your life-" he shook free of her, defiant as she'd ever seen him.

"It's happened in here before. Why is this any different?"

"Because he almost succeeded last time." He growled and some of the ice in her melted.

"Castle, if… any of whatever is going on is going to work, you've gotta separate things in your mind. I'm still a cop here."

"No, you're a stubborn, crazy woman who's supposed to be home resting."

"See, like that. You've got to separate. The dude's psychotic. And we're not even supposed to be here. If Gates finds out, she'll freak and we'll never get anything out of him. So I need you to go into the observation room with Espo and Ryan and wait there until-"

"Kate, I can't leave you alone with him."

"Castle, so help me if you can't force these things to be separate in your mind, I'll have to make you stay out of the precinct, not matter how much I love you." In the space of her testament his face shifted from defiant and angry to hurt to something like all three combined with love.

"Kate-" She knew by his tone that she'd won.

"Just give me five minutes alone with him and then we'll go back to the loft."

He thought for a long moment, fingers brushing hers, "And when we go home," _Home._ Damn she liked the sound of that and knowing that it didn't mean a cold, empty apartment. His neck twitched, sending his head snapping to the side and he grimaced at the interruption, "I get to take care of you."

"No. You get to rest with me and we take care of each other."

He knew that was the best deal he was going to get so he curled his pinky around hers, "Fine. Five minutes." He stalked away, nodding to the boys before cautiously snaking his way into the other room.

"You good, Beckett?" Espo asked, plopping Johnson back down in his seat.

"Fine. Go make sure Castle doesn't break something." The boys nodded and exited the room. The door had no sooner closed when Johnson was speaking.

"Beckett, I'm so sorry." her head snapped to him and she could see him staring imploringly back, "I was trying to warn you."

"Warn me? Against what?"

"The dragon. He's gonna come after you. He's coming." Her throat closed and the temperature dropped dramatically.

"Hey, whoa, start from the beginning. How-"

But he didn't stop, hysterical words flowing from him in a blur, "He'll come and kill you because of your mother's case. Kate, you can't let that happen. I love you, you can't let him kill you. He'll find you."

"Johnson. Slow down what're you-" Something changed in him suddenly and he was leering at her.

"I still can't believe that knife wound didn't do you in. I thought for sure if I didn't hit something important then the infection would get you. I guess I underestimated your crack team, there. Thought they'd take longer to find us."

"Wait, Johnson. Let's get back to the Dragon-"

"Next time, your boys won't be there for you to cower behind. Montgomery, Castle. Who next?"

"Johnson, get back to what you were saying earlier. When is he coming? Who is he?" She was on her feet now, leaning across the table. The familiar nagging about this case was returning, pulling her sharply down. Nothing else mattered except… _Castle._ The realization hit her suddenly. Yes, the case was important, but was it more important than him? Was she willing to risk his life, hers, the possibility of a future together, for a case with shakey leads and dangerous players? She wasn't sure anymore.

He was up too, in her face, "There's only so much blood your hands can take, Detective. Keep that in mind when he's got you around the neck." Her former colleague kneed the table and it collided with the bottom of her stitches. All the breath left her body as she twisted to fall into her seat, trying to clamp down the groan of pain that was pushing up her throat. It felt like fire had torn across her lower abdomen and she couldn't breathe.

Johnson was above her, right where he liked to be, power position, "Watch your back, Beckett. He's a hard man to avoid." She landed an open palm to his solar plexus and he staggered back, wheezing slighlty.

The door banged open and it was Javier this time who pinned him to the wall, "Alright, Johnson that's enough. We'll be adding assault of an officer to your rap sheet. Gettin' kinda long isn't it? Murder, attempted murder, torture, kidnapping" Ryan set a hand on Beckett's shoulder briefly before joining his partner at Johnson's side.

"Wait, wait." He was back, panicked, "You've got to get out. Kate. Kate, run away, get out of the city. Wait NO! You can't stay-"The boys tugged him out of the room, handing him off to the guards as Castle rushed to her side.

"'M alright." Kate forced herself to stand and then had to clutch Castle's arm for support.

"Hey, are your stitches… Are they… intact?"

"Think so," she gritted out.

"We need to go check it out?"

"Nah. 'S fine."

"Kate-"

"I'm fine. I need to talk to the boys." He didn't miss the fact that her voice quavered and her hands trembled. He was sure she'd pin it off on adrenaline if he asked. But he knew better. The fear was back in her eyes. He tightened his arm around her waist. _No one's going to touch you, Kate. Not while I have anything to say about it. _

Ryan and Espo came back in moments later.

"You good?" Ryan asked.

"Fine. You guys got that psych eval yet?"

"Gates said we should have it first thing in the morning. But, Beckett, what he was saying… Should you be-"

"I'm not goin' anywhere. He's crazy. We don't know that he has anything to do with the case. For all we know he overheard us talking about Mongomery and somehow his brain made up a scenario where he's involved. It means nothing right now, okay?" Castle could still feel her shaking though and knew that she wasn't nearly convinced enough herself. He pulled her closer.

"Okay." The boys glanced between each other and then continued, "But I'm gonna call Thomas and see if he can put a detail on the loft. Just for tonight until we get the psych report and we can figure out what's going on." There was no question of her going back to her apartment. _Oh how the times have changed. _

"Guys."

"No, Beckett, we're serious right now."

"What's with you three thinking you get to tell me what to do today?" she jabbed, trying to relieve the tension.

"When it comes to stuff like this, we take over."

"Yeah, gotta protect Mom and Dad."

Kate smiled at them, rolling her eyes, "Okay. If it'll make you two feel better, go ahead."

"Oh thanks for the permission. We totally wouldn't have done it if you'd said now." Ryan gave her a look and then turned to leave, "I'm calling Thomas and then I am going home to my wife."

"And I'm getting some Thai food."

"Which is code for going to see Lanie, right?" Castle interjected.

"Funny, Writer Boy." The nickname alone was proof for the amount of time he was spending with the ME.

"Wait. Guys." Affection for her team overwhelmed her and she just had to – "Thank you."

They shot her identical brotherly looks before shuffling out, bidding them goodbye.

"Bring the psych paper by when you get them." They waved their hands to indicate they'd heard her and then disappeared into the bull pen.

"Kate." His lips were at her temple and she reached around to squeeze his fingers.

"We'll be okay, Castle."

"What if what he's saying is true? What if the Dragon-"

"What if it's not? What if he's just some mentally disturbed man who's confused about what's going on?"

"I… You can't…" His chest felt compressed, more painful than the intense bruising.

"Shhh. We'll be fine. Cross that bridge when we come to it." She turned in his arms, pressing their foreheads together.

"When'd you become so mellow about this case?"

"Since I figured out that I had something more important."


	12. Chapter 12

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Why hello. This chapter was supposed to be done ages ago but I just... I couldn't get what I wanted out of it. I'm not really sure about it... Is anyone OOC? I'm a little paranoid about it. But. Yeah. more case soon. I'm debating something for the beginning of the next chapter but I'm just... not sure...Hmm. Anyway. Anything you have to say, (constructive) criticism, thoughts, what you liked/didn't, something you want to happen, what have you. Drop me a review if you'd be so kind and I'll see what I can do. Enjoy :)**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 12

It was pouring as they snuck out of the precinct and it was not a warm spring rain either. It was frigid, the wind whipping down the alley ways, screaming down the avenues, and snatching at their instantly drenched clothes. Somehow Kate managed to flag down a cab in the down pour and nudged him in first before slamming the door behind her.

"Kate, are you sure…?" He started after giving the taxi driver his address.

"Castle, right now I just want to … be. Just. Go back to the loft and see our families and just be us for one night. And then get back to the scary stuff tomorrow. Okay?"

The progress she'd made, the change in her… it all struck him suddenly and there were embarrassing tears in his eyes. _She wants to forget _THE_ case tonight to just… be. Oh Kate.  
><em>"Okay." He whispered, linking their fingers and kissing her temple.

XXX

There was a fire competing with the icy temperatures when they finally dragged themselves into the loft. Alexis, Martha, and Jim were all seated around the table in the corner, playing a tentative game of poker. They'd changed from normal clothes and were all clad in sweat pants (in his mother's case, they were bright green) and sweat shirts (Martha wore a light pink cardigan) to combat the gloomy weather. When she saw them, Alexis all but skipped across the loft to hug first her father and then Kate, gentle because of both of their injuries.

"We made chicken with rice. It's almost done if you guys want to change out of those wet things." Her voice was still slightly subdued and Castle compressed her to his side, trying to shake off her jitters.

"Thanks, pumpkin,"

"Katie, I put some clothes in a bag for you. It's in Rick's study." Jim stretched up from the table, wincing slightly, "And then maybe you can come help me. these ladies are just ruthless when it comes to poker. I'm lucky we're not playing for money."

Castle and Kate smiled at each other before he led her out of the living room, "Come on, you can change in my bathroom."

He handed her the duffle that was set on the couch and then tugged her through his bedroom to the bathroom, "I'll just... be out here when you're done. Just. whenever you're ready."

He was stammering and wringing his hands and she couldn't help but laugh, "Castle. Calm down."

"I... It's just you're here and we're safe and you're still here."

"Yes," she set a hand on his cheek, "And?"

"And... I just never thought this'd happen." he grinned sheepishly at her.

"Well it is so... stop freaking out. It's freaking me out, " She laughed and then leaned up to press her lips against his for a moment, "Let me change, 'kay?"

"Mhm." he nudged his head against the side of hers and she turned back to the bathroom. Her father had packed several loose gray sweat pants along with assorted long sleeve shirts and sweaters. putting on the pants was easy, getting her shirt hurt off a little but for some reason, trying to pull her deep green shirt on was nearly impossible. The brace was bulky and the sleeves of her shirt were thin. When she tried to pull it over, her wrist smashed weirdly and eventually she just left the cast covered in the material. The stitches in her abdomen protested with every movement but, eventually she managed to push the shirt over her head, gritting her teeth painfully in the process.

After gathering her wet clothes, she glanced in the mirror. She looked as she expected herself to. Wan, tired, rainbow bruises mottling her cheek and eye socket. Her casted arm tugged her shoulder so that it hung lower than the other and her hair was stringy, lifeless, and frizzy after the downpour.

_Castle and I were kidnapped almost a week ago. _ She sighed at the thought and leaned against the sink, closing her eyes. Everything came flooding back, the terror of waking up, god knew where, the panic that Castle soothed and the way it returned when Johnson was torturing him, the feeling of the knife slashing through her flesh, the horror of being forced to hold a gun on the man she loved and being powerless to fight against the attack, and then needing to tell him, before it was too late.

Gasping and shaking, she snapped her eyes open. _No. We're okay, he's okay. Everything's gonna be fine. We'll get to the bottom of the case eventually. _Casting a last disparaging look at her reflection, she turned toward the bedroom, and knocked on the door.

"Castle?"

"Yeah, come on out." He grunted.

"You okay?" She slipped out the door and set her bag and clothes on the floor.

"Mmm." She glanced up at his groan and stifled another gasp.

"Castle..." His chest was stained deep violets and blues with splashes of red and green. It looked...

"Awful." She whispered, tripping forward to stare at his bruised and battered body, "Castle." She was choking again.

"It's not as bad as it looks." he tried to tug a light blue shirt over his head but winced at the stretch that it caused and Kate took it from his with her good arm.

"Left." she muttered, holding the arm hole open.

"Kate..."

"Left arm, Castle." he obliged and stuck his arm through the hole. She left it hanging there and held open the other arm, "Right." he complied without complaint as she slipped the shirt higher up on his arms and then pulled the neck hole over his head. The shirt fell fluidly over his body and he sighed.

"You didn't have to-"

"It's what we do, Castle. Partners." she breathed, leaning forward to skim her fingers over his chest.

"I promise it's not so bad," His hand was on her left hip and he pulled her to him, kissing the side of her head.

"It looks excruciating," She whispered into his chest, fingers still tracing patterns on it.

"They gave me good stuff for it. Kate I'll be fine."

"Still..."

His lips were at the crown of her head, "Come on, let's get back out there." Their fingers twisted together and he led the way back to the living room where their families had resumed their game. Alexis was clearly winning. Her stack of chips was almost twice as high as Jim's, though Martha seemed to be catching up.

"Yeah, it is lucky you're not playing for money, Dad. Jeez." Kate joked as she and Castle sidled up.

"Lucky indeed. I don't know where this girl got her poker skills..."

"Yeah, I don't either," It was simultaneous. Alexis and Kate glanced at each other in shock and burst out laughing. Rick did his best to look affronted but joined them in a chuckle after a few moments.

"Daughter, why must you turn on me?" Alexis giggled again and got up wrapped her arms around her father. Kate slipped her fingers away from his so he could cocoon her fully against him. She tried not to notice the slight flinch as he held her, but it was too late. She was as attuned to him as he was to her.

Something chimed in the kitchen and Martha jumped up, "Oh, that'll be the with rice." She flourished a hand at the name and then trotted into the kitchen.

"Hey, you mind going to make sure your gram doesn't-" Castle murmured to Alexis but Beckett cut in.  
>"I'll go help."<p>

Jim was half out of his chair, "No, Katie, I'll go, you sit."

"No, Dad, it's fine. Normalcy, ya know." and she left to follow Castle's mother into the kitchen.

"Anything I can do, Martha?"

The actress waved a hand, "No, no dear. Just grab some cutlery if you don't mind." She turned to smile at the Detective and noticed the bulky sleeve over her right arm.

"Kate, what's wrong with your shirt?"

"Hmm?" She glanced down, "Oh. The brace is too big and it's kind of hard to pull the shirt over so I just left it."

"Come here, darling." Martha held out a hand and Kate took a tentative step to her, placing the limb in her proffered hand.

"Now," She began inching the fabric up with the practiced fingers of a mother, folding and tugging gently as she spoke, "if we're very careful and don't jostle it, we can make it so that just the hem of the shirt is over the brace so we don't stretch out this shirt too much."

"Oh," Kate tried to pull her hand back, "Thanks, I can-"

"Nonsense, it's much easier with another person doing it. Richard broke his wrist skating when he was nine. Dead of winter, didn't know what to do about it, but we figured out that if we left the shirt sleeve just over the cast, you didn't lose too much warmth."

The sleeve was in the proper place and Martha smoothed satisfied fingers over the hem, "There we go."

Kate wasn't sure how to react. The feeling of being taken care of, of being_ mothered, _swallowed her and she bit back tears.

"Thank you." She murmured, dropping her hand to the side.

"Of course dear. Just... Don't scare us like that again. We plan on keeping the both of you around together for a good deal longer, hmm?"

Kate raised her eyes to Martha's in a watery smile and was surprised when she was enveloped into an enthusiastic hug. She hugged her back, resting her heavier hand on Martha's shoulder.

Kate coughed slightly and pulled away gently, reaching for the drawer that housed the utensils, "It smells wonderful in here, Martha."

"Thank you dear, but that's really all Alexis' doing. She and Richard are the only good cooks around here, though I do whip up a mean salad every once in a while."

Kate laughed as Castle's mother placed the two pots of food off the burners and onto hot pads and then stretched up to pluck the bowls from their shelf next to her.

"Dinner's ready you three, get in here." Martha yelled, turning from the cabinet to sweep over to the fridge and pull out a carton of juice and five glasses. The other three traipsed in, Castle poking Alexis in the sides to get her to move faster, Jim bringing up the rear somewhat awkwardly.

They ate all huddled around the kitchen table, talking and teasing and trying to be as close to normal as they could be but it was evident that Kate and Rick were tiring quickly. After Jim and Alexis shouted them off the dishes and Martha practically forced them onto the couch, they had a few moments to themselves.

"How bad is it on a scale of one to ten?" Castle whispered, leaning against the arm of the couch and pulling her with him.

"'Bout an eight." she answered honestly, taking the searing burn of the slash in her abdomen and the still half numb, dull throbbing of her wrist into account.

"Which for us puny mortals is like a 17."

"Shut up. What about you?"

"6 and a half. Seven. I'll live."

"Need pain meds?" her eyes felt heavy and itchy and he was so warm and _there._

"Aren't I supposed to be asking you that?" His fingers slid over her arm, lightly traced the outline of the tape over her stitches before brushing into her hair.

"You're avoiding the question."

"I'll be fine. You need some? Did you take your antibiotics?"

"Yes, jeez, I'm a grown woman, Castle. I took them with dinner."

"So, is that a yes to the pain meds?"

"No!" She practically shouted, grabbing tight to the front of his shirt as he went to move, "No."

"Kate-"

"They do more harm than good, Castle. I'm fine."

"But-"

Their family chose that exact moment to blunder in and she readjusted herself painfully to assuage any of their worries. But not Castle's. He kept watching her, noting every wince, every smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She could feel him, staring like always, but different now, more protective. Her fingers drifted as she spoke with Martha, coming to rest on his leg. His hand covered hers immediately and clenched around it. She returned the pressure, _I'm fine. It'll be okay. We're safe. _The mantra was recited over and over, trying to somehow make its way through her body into Castle's. She wasn't sure he got the message.

After another hour of conversation, Castle stood and stretched, "I'm off to bed. Night." He gave Kate a significant look over Alexis' head when she hugged him clearly asking, _You coming?_ She wasn't sure. Was that something they did now? Because God she hoped it was.

"Kate, dear, don't pretend for our sake. We all know you and Richard will be sleeping together."

Beckett ducked her head, suddenly embarrassed, unable to look at her father, his mother, or (Oh especially) his daughter , "Ah... Um. Yeah, I'm tired too. I'll just..." She was mumbling and stumbled to her feet. Alexis shot out a hand to steady her and gave her a reassuring smile. The girl loosened her arms around her father and stepped up to the detective.

"Night, Kate," she leaned against her head on her shoulder, "I'm so glad you and Dad are okay." There was a trembling in Alexis' voice that Kate knew she was desperate to hide from her father.

"Me too, Lex. We'll be okay for a good long while, okay?" She turned her head instinctively and kissed the red hair that hung across her temple.

Shuddering slightly, Alexis nodded, squeezed Kate one more time and then let go. Jim wrapped an arm around his daughter and kissed her forehead as Alexis moved to the side, "Night, Katie."

"Night, Daddy." she whispered, clenching her fingers against his shirt momentarily.

After being engulfed in another hug from Martha and watching her father bro-hug Rick (_Oh God, my dad and Castle... Am I still on pain meds?)_, she slid her fingers between Castle's and let him tug her back into his bedroom.

"Mind if I brush my teeth?" She muttered, digging though her bag.

"Only if you don't share the sink," he smirked back, dragging her with him.

She watched them in the mirror, brushing their teeth side by side, almost identically bruised faces, thin cheeks, deep circles under their eyes, lank hair. Still, Kate couldn't help think how... domestic they looked. It was almost unnerving. Everything was changing and she wasn't sure if she could handle it.

Castle lifted a corner of the blanket for her and she snuggled (there was no other term for it, pulling the blanket under her chin and burying her head into the pillow in the middle ) underneath, waiting for him to join her. After flipping on a bedside lamp, he clicked off the overhead light and climbed in next to her. She tried to shift over and give him more room but her caught her good arm and pulled her against him.

"Where are you going?"

She hummed in answer, pillowing her head on a hand and leaning in to touch her forehead to his.

They were silent for a time, wrapped in their own worlds.

"What're you thinking about?" He whispered, drawing his fingers down her side, careful to avoid her injury.

It took her a moment to process the question and then formulate an answer, "Us. Change. The case. My mom." The last one came out as a whisper.

"Kate-"

"No. Not... not like that just... She would have loved tonight. Not so much the reason for it but... the family aspect of it. Being together, eating, talking, playing poker. All of us being together would have made her happy."

He smiled, "She the one who taught you poker?"

"Are you kidding? She was brutal. Took us down every chance she got. There was one time she didn't have to do laundry or the dishes for six months." She chuckled, almost sadly at the memory, "Yeah. Dad would take it easy on me at first, but when it was clear she... infected me with her competitive side, he kind of gave up."

Castle laughed, twisting a piece of her hair between his fingers, "I wish..."

"Me too."

They were quiet again.

"What're you thinking about?

He sighed, rubbing his free hand over his eyes, "You. Us. Your mom. The fact that last time we slept in this bed, we ended up in a..."

She reached up and pulled his hand from his face, "Hey. We'll be okay, alright? Nothing's going to happen this time."

"I know. It's just. I can't help but think... what if. I mean."

"Hey. No. Don't go there. Not tonight. Scary stuff tomorrow, right?"

He sighed, "I can't do that anymore, Kate."

"Yes you can." She pressed up and caught his mouth, pressing herself against him, not caring about his bruises or her gash, just... making him forget, taking away the fear.

She broke their lips apart and kissed up his jaw and to his ear, "We're okay. Nothing can touch us tonight." she nipped at his ear lobe before pressing her mouth to his.

"Kate." He mustered against her lips, "What."

"No more questions, Castle. No more 'I can't.' We're going to be fine. Because we have to be fine." Hysteria was building at the back of her throat and she couldn't clamp it down, "No one's going to hurt you and no one's going to take us away. We're safe, right?" Her voice broke and he clamped his hand around her face, forcing her eyes to his.

"Hey."

"Please, just say we'll be okay." Tears were building her eyes and she had no idea where they were coming from, "Please. Jut..."

"Kate. Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... We'll be okay. Alright? I promise we'll be okay." He held her against his chest, at a complete loss for what could have triggered this. She was shuddering, fighting against the tears that were tumbling down her cheeks.

"Hey, shhh. We'll be okay." He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead.

"I'm sorry. I'm just."

"Stop apologizing."

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Kate, nothing is wrong with you. Do you hear me? _Nothing." _

"Obviously there is. I'm just."

"Kate, we were captured and drugged and tortured and almost died. You're perfectly fine for that situation."

"So were you."

"And I'm terrified right now." Tears clouded his vision and he held her closer, "I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. I know. I'm keeping you right here, safe, in this bed and you're never leaving."

"Never?"

"Well except when I need to take my kid to college and you have to have your coffee fix but otherwise."

She chuckled in spite of herself, "I could handle that."

"Good." His lips were back at her forehead and she nestled her face into the crook of his neck, brushing her mouth over his pulse.

More silence followed. It stretched on, broken only by and occasional sniffle.

"How bad's the pain?" He murmured after a long while, shifting a little to see her eyes flutter open.

"I'll live."

"Kate, just take something. Please. It could be contributing to-"

"Castle. Last summer. .. They gave me some stuff for the pain. Said to take it only if I was okay with being knocked out for about an hour. I took it for about four days. Every single time I took it, you died . In my dreams you were the one who was shot and I couldn't wake up and when I did, I was in more pain than before, reaching for my phone. I needed to hear... I wish I'd ... But. I just, I can't see you dying again and that's exactly what will happen if I take one of those stupid pills. And I-"

"Okay, shhh. I'm sorry, shh. I'm right here."

"I'm sorry, Castle. I'm just. A mess and you've got to be-"

"Stop apologizing. You're alive and here in my bed and with me and our family is just outside the door. Everything's going to be okay, okay? It's like you told me. Scary stuff tomorrow, right?"

"Scary stuff tomorrow." She sighed, scrunching her eyes closed tightly and taking a deep cleansing breath, "Okay."

"Good."

A yawn claimed him and he groaned, "I'm wiped."

"Amen." She muttered, dropping her head back to the pillow and cradling her braced hand to her chest.

"Sleep?"

"Sleep."

He reached over her, careful not to put any weight on her and flipped off the light. Kate latched on to the front of his shirt and he stayed close, maneuvering his arm under her head. She draped her right arm over his chest and his fingers wriggled around to hold the hers that stuck out of the brace.

"Good night, Kate."

"Until tomorrow, Castle."

He huffed a laugh, "I love you."

"Right backatcha." She turned her head and kissed his chest, "I love you."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that."

She smiled into the darkness, feeling reassured and warm and safe against him, "Good."


	13. Chapter 13

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**I am so so so so so so sorry. This chapter wouldn't come and then a few days ago I was in a boating accident and we were all in the hospital and this chapter was just stuck. I wrote most of it last night and this morning, so I hope it doesn't suck. I'm hopped up on pain meds and anti-biotics so I hope it makes sense. I think I might know where this is going, but if you have any thoughts or places you think it should/want it to go, leave me a review or send me a PM and I'll see if it works out :) As usual, if anyone is OOC PLEASE TELL ME! I really want it to be in character but...I just don't feel like there's precedence for the situations they're in so... **

**(ALSO! What up with the recent angst fest, everyone? The dying and the sad and the tears. I don't UNDERSTAND. And Alexis bashing has taken a rise on tumblr. It makes me sad. Anyone care to explain?)**

**Anyway, I hope y'all like it and criticism (the constructive type), thoughts, or reviews of any kind are welcome and beloved as always. Hope you enjoy!**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 13

The storm was still raging four hours later when Kate woke, not remembering any dream, but in a panic that had her gasping for breath and clutching her chest. Thunder rolled overhead, congratulating the lightening on illuminating up the skies and she snuggled closer to the warmth that was Castle. He muttered something, skimmed their barely connected fingers and then stilled.

Her throat was tight, clamping off her supply of oxygen and cold sweat collected on the base of her neck. She had to move. As quickly as she dared and as painlessly as possible, she wriggled out of Castle's arms and stumbled into the living room.

She needed air, space to breathe and think, figure out why she's awoken in such a state. She almost missed Alexis curled in the window seat, arms clenched around her knees, and staring out the window. The storm eased a little, though occasional flashes of lightening and rolls of thunder broke the steady swish of rain.

"Alexis?" Kate whispered, taking a step in the girl's direction. Alexis leapt and then turned hurriedly back to the window.

"Kate. Hey, w-what are you doing up?" the tremble in her voice did not go unnoticed.

"I could ask you the same thing." Kate came right up behind her and fought the urge to run a hand over Alexis' head, "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing." She tried to inconspicuously wipe away tears that Beckett knew were there, "I'm fine." Kate caught her hand and lowered it.

"This isn't fine, Lex. You can tell me or... I can go get your dad."

"No. No. It's fine, I'm fine, Kate, go back to bed." Alexis shook her arm away from Kate's grip and curled even further in upon herself.

"Alexis, if you think I'm leaving you alone..."

"Kate, I can... I'm okay."

"No. Alexis, you... you can't shut down like-"

"Like what, like you? You do that all the time." Alexis snapped, staring back at her with bloodshot eyes, "I mean, that's why it took four years for you to even think about dating my dad."

It stung, Kate couldn't lie. But it was... true. So true.

"You're right," She whispered, sinking painfully to kneel next to Alexis, "And I'm so sorry. I apologized to your dad but I guess... I didn't think about the... collateral damage."

Alexis slumped back, "No. No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you I'm just... worried and-"

"Shh, it's okay. It's all my fault. It is more than okay for you to feel like this. It's my fault that your father is in danger and I hurt him so much..." Tears pricked in her eyes and tightened her throat, "I was just scared I would hurt him more if I let us... be whatever we are and then if I shut him out or died or... Because I knew I would. I'd shut down, I'd get scared, I'd run away and it took me forever to realize that that is no way to live my life so I just... I had to change and we changed fast and I didn't think how this would affect you or Martha and I'm so sorry, Lex."

Alexis was crying by then too, and she clutched Kate's free hand in hers, "I'm sorry."

"Alexis stop saying you're sorry. You are not at fault here. You're scared and hurt and it's understandable." Kate nudged closer to the window seat, not caring about her stitches or bruises or broken arm, just pulling Alexis closer to her and kissing the top of her head, "It's all going to be okay, Lex, I promise I won't let anything happen to you or your dad or your grandmother-"

"Or you." Alexis turned fiercely, "Don't go gallivanting off, thinking you're Superwoman. None of us will be able to take it. Just... just stay here and stay safe with us, please." There were fresh tears rolling down her porcelain cheeks and Beckett did her best to wipe them away clumsily with her thumb.

"Okay, okay, shh. It'll be okay, I'll stay."

She held her a while longer, waiting for Castle's daughter to stop shaking and crying quite so hard. When her breathing evened out, Kate eased herself away from the girl, "Hey."

Alexis looked up, catching her eye a little embarrassed.

"You're dad's still asleep. I won't be going back anytime soon. Why don't you go in there and curl up with him?"

"No... Kate you need to sleep and -"

"I'm not going to sleep. I'm too wired. Not your fault." She cut in, seeing Alexis' expression, "I'm just... awake and that's all there is. Go on, you'll feel better."

It took several more minutes of convincing, but Alexis eventually snuck off to her father's room and Kate folded herself onto the couch. The loft seemed warmer somehow, even in the midst of the rain and cold. It was the fact that it was a house full of people, she assumed. It was a good feeling, a happy one, one she'd missed for a long time.

It wasn't uncommon for her to be awake at this hour, working a case or not. Dreams or insomnia plagued her most nights and sleep wasn't really a priority all the time. Her body hated it, but old habits died hard.

Several minutes later, Kate hauled herself off the couch and started to peruse Castle's shelves. The first to come off was the translated works of Pablo Neruda, quickly followed by a volume of Poe and then suddenly she was hauling book after book into her good arm, Winnie the Pooh, Carl the Dog, Dr. Seuss, Goodnight Moon, A Wrinkle in Time, Far Side comic collections, Peter Rabbit, Patterson, Rowling, Dickens, Angelou, Pierce, Collins, a Nicholas Sparks hidden behind some manly car book (She's have to talk to him about that later) and finally (of course) Nikki Heat. She built a wall of words on the coffee table, picked on up, opened it to a random page and started to read.

After flipping reading the current page or to one of her favorites, she placed it back in the structure and picked up another. She didn't even notice the sky lighten or the rumbling thunder quiet to a soft growl. She lost herself in the words, nestled into the couch, and just read.

She jumped slightly as Castle's office door opened, almost dropping the works of Neruda. He paused, clad only in checked flannel pajama pants and a white t-shirt and watched as she carefully marked her place and peeled herself away from the couch, with something like relief pulling his features..

"Hey." She whispered, tugging a stray hair behind her ear.

"Hey yourself. Kate, why aren't you sleeping?"

"Couldn't . Dunno why. Just... I couldn't and books were the only thing that I could think of and so..."

"You could have woken me." He took a step forward and wrapped a hand around her hip, hers coming to rest on his chest.

"No way. You need your sleep. And Alexis needed you."

"I wondered where you were when she came in."

"She needed you more than I did. Just... reassurance, ya know?"

"Mhm." his forehead fell against hers, "I woke up and you were gone and... for a split second I swore I lost you. But then Alexis was there so I figured everything was okay, but-"

"Shh. It's fine. I'm here, you're here, we're good."

They held each other in the half light of a cloudy morning, rocking slightly to the thunder's distant beat.

"How're you feeling this morning?" She whispered.

"Could be a hell of a lot worse," He replied, chuckling slightly, "You?"

"Strangely okay."

"Good."

"Yeah."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Since around two."

"And you've been reading since then?"

"Well... Alexis and I talked for a little while and I sat and then... books just seemed like a good idea."

"What'd you and Alexis talk about?"  
>"She'll tell you later if she feels like it's important."<p>

"Kate." He whined and she laughed quietly.

"C'mon, Castle, it's girl stuff, just between us."

"I'm not going to like you two ganging up on me, am I?"

"Would you rather the alternative of her not having someone to gang up with?"

"No," he answered quickly, tightening his arms "No, this is definitely preferable to that."

She smiled, "Good." They were quiet again, foreheads pressed close, noses kissing.

"What Neruda were you reading?"

"Oh, um..." She separated herself from him and strode back to her tiers of books, flipping through the pages until she found the one she'd been on, "Sonnet 17, "I do not love you."

"Well, jeez Beckett, if -"

"No, Castle, read it." She passed the book over, watched his eyes flick over the page and then soften as he finished it and closed the book slowly.  
>"See."<p>

"Yeah." he handed it back and then stepped over the coffee table to her side, "How many of these did you get out?"

"Probably too many." She laughed, setting the poems back on top of a pile and pulling out the Nicholas Sparks book, "So... why do you have _A Walk to Remember_?"

"Hey, that is a beautiful love story. It makes me feel good."

"Castle, Jamie dies."

"Yes, but she makes Landon a better man. And even after she dies their love is like the wind. You can't see it, but -"

"Oh come on,"

"What?"

"It's so... I dunno, cliche."

"Come on, Kate, admit it, you cried like a baby when you read this."

"I will admit no such thing."

"Well, at least you read it."

"Oh hush." They leaned back into the cushion of the couch and Castle perused her selection.

"Carl the Dog? God, I haven't even thought about those books since Alexis was two." He tugged a couple of them out of the stack and they flipped through them, smiling and resting against one another. When those were finished, he checked his watch.

"What time is it?" She asked, realizing that her's was currently missing.

"Almost 6:45."

"Damn."

"What, are you tired? We can go back to bed."

"No, no it's fine, I just... the storm clouds threw me off."

"Hungry?"

"Nope. I'm just going to keep reading. You should go back to sleep."

"No, I want to read with you."

She rolled her eyes, but pulled the throw from over the back of the couch over them and picked up a Far Side comic book.

They had barely made it past the third page when a knock echoed through the living room.

"I'll get it." Castle clambered up and checked the peep hole before throwing the door wide.

"Ryan, Esposito what're you doing here?" At the mention of her partners, Kate padded across to the doorway where they were shaking rain off their coats.

"What's wrong?" It was clear by their stances that something was afoot. Tense shoulder, stiff backs, shifting from foot to foot, "What happened?"

"Johnson. He's dead."

Silence followed Esposito's announcement.

"What?" Castle stammered when he'd found his voice.

"I thought we had him in lock up, full security, the works. What the hell happened?"

"We don't know!" Ryan was mad and they all knew it, "I took him down there, checked that he was there before I left to go home. Everything seemed fine. But Gates called us in about half an hour ago and said he was dead."

"Do you think one of the guards..." Castle couldn't help the hand that strayed over and tangled itself in Kate's. The boys pretended not to notice Kate squeezing his fingers back.

"We don't know, bro." Esposito cracked his knuckles in irritation, "Lanie's checking out the body right now, but it looks like single GSW to the head is the cause of death."

"Check everyone's guns, check dumpsters around the precinct. Give me three minutes and I'll-"

"Yo, Beckett, we got this. You're off the case anyway. Gates said so before you were kidnapped and you're out on medical leave anyway."

Kate made an irritated noise in the back of her throat and pulled her hand away from Castle's.

"You guys get the Psych eval. yet?"

"Yeah." Ryan yanked a hand through his already spikey hair, "Yeah, Johnson was in Special Forces, top of his unit, trained in combat and shooting. Served for seven years. Discharged four years ago and treated for PTSD that fell over into schizophrenia," It was her turn to take his hand back and he held it tightly as Ryan continued " He had some medication but either it wasn't working or he wasn't taking it. As far as we figure, he's got at least two sides to him. One that's in love with you, Beckett and wants to protect you but hates Castle here. And the other just hates your guts and wants you dead. We're assuming that's the side that whoever is behind this wants to tap into."

"Shit... Johnson." Kate sighed.

"Look let us worry about this. Just keep yourselves safe and we'll keep you in the loop." Ryan touched her shoulder, "We just thought you should know."

"Yeah..." She sighed, pulling a hand through her hair, "Yeah, thanks guys, keep us posted."

"You got it boss," Esposito slapped his partner's back and turned for the door, "Come on, Ry, I think Lanie's almost done with the autopsy and I wanna be there when forensics finishes running the guns."

With a wave, the detectives left and Castle shut the door behind them.

"You okay?" Castle murmured, backing Kate up into the door and trapping her between it and him, skimming his lips from her temple to jaw before resting over hers for the briefest of moments. Some of the tension leaked out of her body.

"Yeah. I'm just... I don't know what's going on and it's pissing me off. What the hell is this guy playing at. And Johnson and his PTSD..."

"Hey, it's okay."

"No, Castle, it's not. Johnson's dead and it's my fault."  
>"Kate-"<p>

His mother and her father chose that exact moment to traipse down the stairs, laughing at something Martha was saying and she used the distraction the squirm out from his arms, surreptitiously wiping her face before joining them in the kitchen.

"Kate." Castle sighed and leaned his forehead against the front door, "Shit."

Martha and Jim made them all pancakes and bacon with a side of cut fruit (which was Martha's main job). Kate kept a running conversation up with their parents and made sure that Castle didn't have a chance to drag her off and discuss what the boys had said. She needed time to wrap her head around what had happened. Johnson was a colleague and even though he'd hurt Castle and tried to kill both of them, a small part of her mourned his loss. None of it was his fault. He was just a pawn, someone's tool in a greater scheme that no one understood.

The arrival of a bleary eyed Alexis as the food finished cooking added to the distraction. She kissed her father's cheek while carding a hand through her mussed hair and then wrapped an arm around Kate in a hug, which she returned, "You sleep okay?"

"Mhm." Alexis sighed, "Thanks. That mountain of books in the living room yours?"

Kate laughed, "Yeah."

"Didn't you sleep?"

"Nah."

"Kate."

"You sound like your father." Kate let her go and nodded toward the counter, "Go eat, it smells good."

"Want me to fix you a plate?"

"Nah, I'll get some in a minute."

Alexis shot her a smile but grabbed a plate and went to talk to her grandmother. Jim was still tending to the pancakes and Castle took his moment, sliding into the seat beside her.

"Kate." his hand caught the end of one of her curls, twisting it around his finger, "This isn't your fault. You didn't-"

"Castle. Not now, okay?" Her hand came up and cradled his, pulling it from her hair and into her lap, "I promise we'll talk about this later and we said scary stuff to day but... Can we just eat breakfast like normal people and then worry about it/"

"Okay." He squeezed her hand, "Alright, we'll talk later." He couldn't deny her that, not now that she wanted this, with him and them. It was too much progress for him to curb.

She gave him a half smile and then closed the minimal distance between him to press her lips to his, "Thank you."

He kissed her again, fighting the urge to deepen it, pull her into his arms, and never stop, but the presence of their family gave him pause, "Come on," He sighed, pulling away reluctantly, "Let's eat."


	14. Chapter 14

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Hey... Anyone still interest in this story? Ever though the writer is THE WORST updater ever... Sorry. I've been out of town and then there was no inspiration and... It's no excuse. Please don't hate me haha. Anyway. Here's chapter 14, I hope you enjoy! It's not the longest or most content heavy chapter but parts of it are cute. So. Comments, constructive criticism, thoughts, whatever are always appreciated and gladly accepted (All ye who favorited and followed and reviewed, you are dolls and too kind to a crazy girl like me. Seriously, thank you:) ) Hope you enjoy! **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 14

Jim left after breakfast, stating that he had to get home to water his plants, check his mail and other tasks that Kate felt could keep until the case was over, but her father refused another night's stay, thanked the Castles for their kindness, promised to call her soon, and was out the door within the hour. The click of the lock had barely finished echoing in the loft before Kate had her phone to her ear, contacting Espo and Ryan.

"Hey, I need you guys to put a detail on my dad."

"Wait, what? Isn't he there with you?" Ryan punched the speaker button so Esposito could hear.

"Yeah, he was but he just left. Please guys," She was desperate and the boys could hear it in her voice. Rick, who had sidle up behind her in the bedroom, slid his fingers over her back before wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against his chest.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll get on that." Ryan went to end the call but Esposito grabbed the phone away before he could and held it to his ear.

"Hey yo, Beckett you still there?"

"Mhm, yeah, what's up?"

"So we found out that Johnson's next of kin is his twin brother, David Johnson who's a cop down at the 47th. He's coming down now."

"Thanks Espo, keep me apprised."

"You got it."

The phone clicked off and Kate sighed, tugging a hand haphazardly through her hair and pacing several steps away from Castle into the office.

"Kate, he'll be okay."

She sucked her lip between her teeth to bite off the bitter retort about them thinking they'd be okay that rose like bile in her throat and simply nodded.

"What I don't get is why Smith hasn't called me yet! If this has something to do with your mother's case, he should have called…"

"Can't you just call him?" Talking about Smith still made her uneasy. Whatever he'd told Castle about being a friend of Montgomery's, she still felt weird about trusting someone she'd never talked to let alone met.

"He always contacts me. You know, he's voice on the phone, a shadow in a parking garage."

Kate whirled from her position at the window, "What?"

"What, what?"

"Castle you met with him?"

"Yeah, I told-"

"No, you didn't. Castle, how could you be so stupid!"

"I was doing it to-"

"What do you even know about this guy, huh? He was Roy's friend. But then what did we really even know about Roy. How do you know that he's not a part of this and talking to you isn't a part of the-"

"Kate." Castle crossed the room in three strides and had her by the tops of the arm, "He's keeping you safe. Frankly, that's all I care about."

"And keeping you safe is all I care about. We're square. You can't go off meeting him in parking garages alone anymore. Not without back up." Her fingernails dug into his sides as she clenched her hand around his t-shirt.

"Kate-"

"Until we solve this, just… please." Tears clouded her vision and she cursed herself for being so damn emotional.

"Okay, okay, shhh. I won't. Okay." He leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple, tottering them back until he was able to sink onto the couch.

"Kate, how bad's the pain?"

"Castle that has nothing to do-" She was cut off by herself, gasping as she twisted in his arms and her stitches pulled across her abdomen.

"Kate." His hands fluttered over her, unsure of where to touch or how to comfort.

"Just give me a second." She hissed between her teeth, clenching the hem of her shirt in her fist.

"Okay." He brushed some hair from her face and watched as he breathing steadied and she relaxed back into the couch.

"Seriously, Kate, you need to take that pain stuff."

"No, we talked about this, Rick. I can't-"

"Please. It's killing me watching you like this." His hand cradled the side of her face and he forced her eyes to his, "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment and then nodded once, "Okay."

"Thank you." He tilted his head and pressed his mouth to hers.

"As long as you take yours," She broke away, staring into his eyes.

"Done," he agreed without a thought. Castle kissed her again and then darted off to grab the bottles from the kitchen. Martha and Alexis were sprawled on the couch, watching TV. Castle paused, counted days on his fingers.

"Shouldn't you be at school, pumpkin?"

"I called in and… You don't mind do you? I just wanted to be home in case you guys needed anything. Paige is going to text me all the assignments so I won't be too far behind." She wrung the hem of her shirt, nervously meeting her father's eye.

"My daughter is skipping school for me. I've never been more proud," He bent over and kissed her forehead.

"Gee, thanks." She rolled her eyes, but smiled up at him.

"Love you, kid."

"You too, Dad."

Martha smiled at her family, then shot the study a look, "Richard, is Kate okay?"

"Yes, Mother. I finally got her to agree to taking her pain medicine so I need to hurry, in case she changes her mind." He darted off to the kitchen, grabbed the orange pill bottles, then drifted through the living room again to find Kate still leaned against the arm of the couch.

"You okay?" he murmured, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Fine." She rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly, using her left arm to plop the right one on her lap.

"Okay…" He sat down next to her, shook a couple pills into her hand, then handed her the glass of water from his desk. She tossed the capsules back then took a swig of water, shuddering slightly as she handed the glass back to Castle. He did the same and then leaned back, setting the pills and water on an end table.

"You wanna go back to bed?" he brushed his fingers over her hair gently. His fingers spasmed and pulled on her hair, "Sorry."

She waved him away, grabbing his hand."No. I'm fine. How're your mother and Alexis?"

"They're alright. Alexis skipped school for us. You should feel honored." Kate chuckled and leaned into his side.

"Wow, I do."

"Yeah. She thought I'd be angry when she told me she was skipping."

"Silly girl."

"I told her I'd never been more proud."

Kate laughed, and some of the tension in Castle's chest eased, "I bet she loved that."

His hand crept back to her cheek, "Are you sure you don't want to go back to sleep?" His thumb skirted the bruise colored crescents under her eyes.

She turned away from his attention and forced herself to her feet, "C'mon, your kid skipped school to be with you. Better head out there."

He sighed, "Kate." He caught her relatively uninjured wrist in his hand and pulled her back, "We were going to talk."

She leaned back her head, eyes closed and let out a slow breath, "Yeah. I ... "

"What's scaring you so much?"

"It's not over." She tried to cross her arms but the brace made it impossible so she settled for picking at the edge of her shirt again, " I thought that when we got out, this case would be over, one way or another and it's still... Your mother and my dad and Alexis ... and you. I can't let anything happen to you and the likelihood of something happening increases the longer this case goes on."

"Nothing is going to happen to us." He tried to step to her but she took a corresponding step back, keeping the distance between them.

"You don't know that, Castle. We thought nothing was going to happen when we went to sleep that day." The nails of her good hand were digging painfully into her palm.

"I know. We just have to have faith that we'll be safe and that the detail on the building won't be fooled again."

"Have faith? Castle, that's just naive. Someone out there wants us dead and 'faith' won't keep them away."

"Okay, Kate, what's bothering you? Because this can't be all of it. Yeah, it's scary, but not any worse that some of the other things we've been through."

"What's worse?" Her voice climbed to a pitch, "What's worse, Castle our _families_ are involved. Johnson went after the people he did for a reason and someone killed him for a reason and Johnson had PTSD."  
>"A lot of people have PTSD, Kate. He was also schizophrenic."<p>

"Yeah, he went completely freaking crazy. What if I fall over that way? How am I going to protect you guys if I'm fucking nuts." There was silence after her confession. His chest tightened again as he watched her antagonize over (what he considered to be) a non issue.

"Kate, you are not like Johnson."

"I could be. We don't know!" she was pacing furiously by that point and he shot out a hand to calm her.

"Kate." He waited until she sighed and looked up into his face painfully slowly, "If you go crazy, I'll be by your side the whole time, making sure you take your meds."

"What if I hurt someone though?" The energy that had been powering her for the last few minutes seemed to spill away and she sagged a little.

"Babe, you don't have it in you to hurt someone who didn't deserve it."

"Castle, you call me babe one more time, I swear to God-"

He laughed, pulling her against his chest, "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," She muttered into his chest.

They stayed like that for a moment, twined together before he bent, pressed his lips to her forehead, "I won't let anything happen to you."

She sighed again and pulled away from him, "Come on. Your mother and Alexis are probably wondering what's going on."

XXX

The four of them spent the day curled on the couch, flipping between shows and movies, snacking on whatever Alexis pulled out from the kitchen. Martha insisted that they pause on a documentary about an eccentric old woman in the theatre and they spent the hour that it lasted, giggling and aw-ing at her antics and the love that she and her husband found.

"Carol is an absolute doll." Martha sighed as the credits rolled, "She and Harry were made for each other. Only took them 50 something years to get together." She shot Rick and Kate a significant look and both looked away, slightly embarrassed at being compared to the older couple.

Jim called Kate at half past three, promised he was home and fine and asked if her police friends outside would like some sandwiches.

"Are they that obvious?" Kate winced, leaning against the kitchen island.

"I was trying to find them."

Kate sighed and dragged a hand through her hair.

"Don't worry, Katie, they're not that conspicuous."

"Yeah, okay, Dad. Everything okay there?"

"Just fine, sweetie. Stop worrying about me and start focusing on healing, okay?" He hung up soon after that, promising to check in again soon.

"He okay?" Castle asked, sidling up next to her, and trying to pop his back. He grimaced at the pull in his chest and Kate touched his arm. He nodded in answer to her silent concern.

"Yeah. Saw my detail. But... I think he's alright." She tried to stifle a yawn and sagged against the counter, "Is there drowsy shit in that medicine?" she slurred.

Castle chuckled and checked the possible side effects on both of their medicines. Yep, drowsiness was the first one.

"Sorry, yeah."

"Ugh." She groaned, "Don't wanna sleep."

"I do." he laid his head down on his arms, "Pleaseeeee?" he whined.

"Castle."

"Please, I'll be right there."

She didn't have the energy to argue, "Fine. Yeah, let's sleep."

He grabbed her fingers loosely and led them through the living room, "We're taking a nap," He sighed and led them through the study, listening to Kate bid his daughter and mother good night (good afternoon? He was too tired to decide which it was.)

"Bathroom?" He asked, sinking down onto the bed.

"Bed." She muttered, plodding over to the other side and crawling sluggishly under the covers.

"Tired there, Beckett?" He teased drawlingly, head flopping over on his pillow to look at her.

"Shut up, Castle." her eyes slid shut and she stretched out her hand, searching for his under the covers. He found hers and twisted their fingers together.

They were asleep before anymore could be said.

XXX

Kate was awoken what felt like minutes later when the bed started moving. Her head lolled to the side, trying to ask Castle if he was feeling the same thing when she realized that it was he who was causing the frantic movement of the mattress and as she watched he whimpered her name. Beads of sweat gathered at the base of his neck and along his forehead.

"Kate. No, Kate. So sorry. Trying. Don't leave me. Love you." He twisted on his side, grunted and twitched before crying out again.

Her heart crept to her throat and she reached out her good hand to brush through his hair, "Castle, hey, wake up."

He leaned into her touch a little but didn't wake, "Stay with me."

Her mouth dried as she heard him, rremembering the words he'd whispered brokenly while curled over her in the cemetery, blood pumping from her chest.

" up, I'm right here." She shook his shoulder and he rolled toward her, gasping, eyes flashing wide open, "Hey, it's okay."

"Kate." His voice cracked and then she was being hauled against his chest, coughing out a gasp of pain as he squeezed her, but she didn't care because he was shaking so hard, clearly terrified, "Oh, Kate. Kate, I love you so much."

"Castle, look at me, what happened?" She pulled away just enough to see his face, crystalline eyes brimming with tears, "Hey, it's okay," She kissed him softly then leaned back "I'll be right back." She tumbled out of bed and hurried to the bathroom as quickly as she could, wetting a washcloth, before flicking off the light and crawling back up beside him.

"What happened?" She passed the cloth over his cheek , then his forehead, erasing all traces of tears and sweat. He closed his eyes at the contact of the cool cloth and didn't speak until she had finished and set the washcloth down on the bedside table. Then he pulled her on half on top of him, so that her head was tucked between his shoulder and chin.

"You died." he choked out, brushing a hand over her hair, "Johnson stabbed you and I couldn't get to you and... you bled out. And you were crying. And I was just... Stuck." She can hear his terror and anger and pain making his voice brittle and she cupped the side of his head again, scratching her nails lightly over his scalp.

"I'm right here. I've got you. I'm okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Shhh. We're going to be fine." They continued whispering reassurances until Castle stopped shaking and his breathing evened against the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, turning to kiss his neck. Tears stung the backs of her eyes, hating herself for the pain she was continuing to cause him.

"Not your fault." She could have sworn he was sleeping, "It's okay. We'll be okay."

"Go back sleep, babe."

"One of these days, we'll talk about this double standard you have going." He slurred, brushing his lips sloppily against her temple.

"Sleep for now though."

"You too. Sorry I woke you."

"Shut up. Don't even worry about that."

"You need sleep too."

"Hush. Sleep, Castle."

"Mmm." He hummed and buried his face further in her hair.

"I love you." She murmured bunching up part of his shirt in her fist.

"Love you too, babe."

"Castle."

"Double standards," he grumbled before they were both out again.


	15. Chapter 15

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Please don't hate me. Drama in my life has utterly compromised my time and built a wall in my mind, not to mention College is kicking my ass. Phew I'm exhausted. So. I really hope y'all still have interest in this story. I am so, so, so, so, so sorry it took me forever to get this up. Hopefully the next will be up quicker. I really hope you like it. Leave me a review of your thoughts/ideas/wishes for the future/constructive criticism. Sorry again. Enjoy.**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**Also! Thank you sooo much to **Ptitange99 **for reading this and giving it her vote of confidence! She rocks. Thank youuu! :)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 15

The shrill claxon of her cell phone woke her moments later. _Capt. Gates._ Kate snatched up the device and pressed 'accept' carefully rolling out from Castle's arms. He grumbled something and then wrapped a twitching arm around her pillow and burying his face where her hair had just been.

"Beckett." She murmured, pausing to smile at the sleeping Castle before slipping into the study.

"Detective Beckett. There is a situation at the precinct and I need you to report here immediately." Gates' usual no-nonsense tone was colored with… _was that worry? Fear?_ Her besotted smile dropped.

"Sir?"

"Detectives Esposito and Ryan have been taken hostage by a suspect. Jeremy Johnson's brother, Davis." All the air was sucked from her lungs. Javi and Ryan were in danger. _And Johnson's first name was Jeremy… I never knew...Focus Kate!_, "He won't speak to anyone, just keeps demanding you. Detective Ryan is injured. He took a shot to the leg."

_Shit. Goddammit._

"Have you called his wife?" Kate started searching frantically for shoes, and when she found a pair of flats tucked under the couch, she rammed her feet into them.

"No, she has yet to be informed."

"Good. And Esposito?"

"Laceration to the face."

"I'll be there as soon as possible."

The phone clicked and Kate shoved it in her pocket and burst out of the study. Alexis, who had been lounging in the living room, leapt up and stared at her.

"Kate, what-"

"Alexis. I need you to not tell your father where I'm going. And if he wakes up, don't let him leave until I call you, okay? It's very important."

"Wait, Kate, where are you going?" Alexis scrambled to her feet and grabbed Kate's uninjured arm.

"Exactly. You don't know. He can't know."

"Kate, you can't go!" Alexis' grip tightened on her arm and she pulled back a little.

"No, Alexis I need to go. This is important. Okay?"

"No!" The girl's grip tightened and Kate turned to face her finally. There were tears clouding her eyes.

"Oh Lex." Kate paused momentarily in her search for keys.

"You can't go. Please don't go. Dad will... And I-"

Kate's chest ached as she pulled Alexis in to her arms, "Alexis, I promise you, I will be back. I... Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan are in trouble and I'm the only one that can help."

Alexis just clung tighter to her, "No."

"Alexis," Kate pressed her lips to her red hair and then pulled away quickly to stare the girl in the eye, "This is about family, okay? Ryan and Esposito are my brothers and I'm the only one who can help, so I have to go. But I swear to you, I will be back."

"What happened to them?" Alexis swiped away a tear that had been trickling down her face.

"I'm not sure. But it'll be okay, okay?"

Alexis nodded shakily and backed out of Kate's arms, "Sorry."

"No, Lex," Kate had her bundled up in her arms again, "Don't' be sorry. We'll talk about this later, okay?" Beckett kissed the side of her head and then spun, snatched the keys out of the bowl by the front door and slipped away.

XXX

The precinct was bedlam when she finally made it there. Officers lined the walls, and Gates was pacing up and down in front of Interrogation 2.

"Beckett." She barked, catching sight of Kate as she exited the elevator.

"Sir, what...?"

"Davis Johnson is still in control of the situation in there. I need you in observation." Gates grabbed Kate by the elbow and led her through the bustling officers and into the observation room. Two other officers were stationed by the door, eyes trained on the two way mirror.

The scene on the other side of the glass made Kate's stomach flop over listlessly. Ryan was propped against the opposite wall, dark pants stained even deeper in a slow spread over his thigh. His tie was knotted just above the bullet hole and his jacket was balled up on the underside of it. On the opposite side of the room, Esposito was pinned, face to all by a giant version of their Officer Johnson. Where muscles had laid thin and lean on his brother, they bulged bulbously on Davis, stretching his dress shirt almost to the breaking point it looked like. Even Espo's considerable muscularity was dwarfed in comparison.

"He's an officer down at the 47th?" Kate's eyes were glued to the room before her. Her fingers clenched on the table next to her as Ryan's head lolled back against the wall he was leaned on. Esposito barked something, making Davis shove him harder against the wall but Ryan's eyes fluttered open again and he muttered something back.

"Yes. Junior detective of vice." Gates growled back.

Kate's good hand balled into a fit and she smashed the intercom button, "Davis Johnson, this is Detective Beckett. Drop your weapon and step away from Detective Esposito. Place your hands on the wall and spread your legs before I have to come in there and make you do it." Her voice was venom and ice but Davis barked out a laugh and pressed the gun harder into Javi's back.

"You don't have much power in this situation as I see it, Detective Beckett. You probably couldn't cuff me now if you wanted to. So you answer to me now."

Kate yanked her hand of the comm button and grabbed Officer Lincoln's elbow and pushed her toward the door, "Call Mt. Sinai and tell them to send a bus. Then call Detective Ryan's wife and Dr. Parish and tell them to be there in thirty minutes. Don't tell them anything else. Tell them that, tell them not to panic, then hang up."

The young officer set her jaw and nodded curtly, "Yes Detective Beckett," before scurrying off.

Beckett turned back to the intercom, "Alright Davis, what do you want?"

"Do you remember Mariane Cunningham, Detective Beckett?"

Beckett's head dipped, "Yes, what about her?" Mariane Cunning ham was convicted of murdering her brother for his part of the inheritance left by their recently deceased parents. She had a violent temper but continued, well into her trial and incarceration, to staunchly deny her guilt. However, every single shred of evidence pointed to her as the killer and they had to arrest her. Something hadn't ever set quite right with Kate though, even as the evidence piled higher and higher, becoming impossible to deny.

"She died," Davis' broken voice brought her out from her memories, and she somehow felt... sorry, "Two months ago. In a prison yard. she died there, you sent her to die!" And Kate finally realized why Davis Johnson looked so familiar. He was not only Jeremy Johnson's hulk-like double, but she also remembered him, holding Mariane's hand as Beckett and Castle delivered the news of her brother's death.

"She was guilty, Johnson, you know that."

"She wasn't!" He cried, his anguish gnawing into Kate's chest. _What is wrong with me? Why am I letting him effect me like this?_ "She never killed Derek!" He sounded slightly crazy, waving his gun around and pressing Esposito so hard against the wall that Beckett knew he'd have a gnarly bruise. With a twist of her heart, Kate's eyes snapped over Ryan to find his eyes closed. Panic lit up her veins. Esposito noticed at almost the same time as she did and started to struggle harder against Johnson.

"Yo, Kevin, bro. Open your eyes, man. Come on, stay awake." Johnson hauled back at snapped a punch into Esposito's kidneys. Javi grunted, knees buckling, but Ryan stirred, albeit feebly.

"Johnson," Kate snarled, she was tired of watching two of her best friends in pain and in danger. She needed them out. NOW.

"What do you want me to do? She died, I can't change that."

"I want you and your writer monkey to feel every pain I felt when Mariane died. You'll suffer until slowly, you're the only two let. And then you'll watch one another slowly wither away." Kate couldn't fight the slight of terror that sent a shudder down her spine. _Get it together, Kate._

"Davis Johnson, if you are threatening anyone I care about, I will make you wish that you hadn't."

"I hold all the power now, Beckett. You're answering to me. Now, make sure I have a clear path out of the precinct or Javi here won't make it out to see the lovely Dr. Parish."

Kate choked and looked to Gates who seemed to be grinding her teeth. he motioned for Kate to move back from the commic so she could address the bullpen at large.

"We let him walk. As soon as Detective Esposito is clear and Johnson's feet hit pavement, I want every single person in here on him.

A mumbled 'yessir' rippled around the pen and the tension kicked up another notch.

Beckett forced her hand back to the intercom and barely spat out the word, "Go."

"Good luck, Ka-" She pulled away from the two way mirror and whipped out her phone, furiously tapping out a text to Alexis.

"Get your dad and martha and get to the precint dont take the ferrari something covered tell your dad to get my back up love you all." she hit send just as the door to her left creaked open and Davis Johnson swaggered out, pushing a steaming and slightly stumbling Esposito. He caught her eye as they passed, his almost swelled shut and she gave him a hint of a nod. _I swear, you'll be fine. I'll make sure you're okay._

He tipped his head back, nodding toward Ryan and she inclined her head barely. Then they were past her and the elevator dinged. There was shuffling in the bullpen and Kate hurried next door to Ryan.

"Hey, Ryan. Hey, wake up." She gripped his shoulder.

"Javi?" he groaned.

"He's going to be fine, Kevin. Hey," his head flopped to the side and she held it up, "Hey, no, look at me. The bus in on the way. Jenny's going to meet you at Mt. Sinai. You're going to be fine."

"No. Don't tell her. Worry." his head sagged against her hand and his hands went limp.

"Ryan," she shook him, tried to prop his head up. "Ryan!"

"Detective Beckett, the ambulance is here." Officer Lincoln was crouched by her side, "They're coming up the stairs now."

"Well tell them to hurry up." Kate kept Ryan's head cradled in her shaking hand, bulky brace propped on his other shoulder. Lincoln hurried out of the room only to skid to a stop as a gurney sped past her and into the interrogation room.

"Miss, we're going to have to ask you to move." One of the EMTs was already moving Ryan's jacket from beneath his leg and two others were setting the board down next to him.

Kate backed against the opposite wall, watching as they loaded him on, muttering medical terms she didn't understand back and forth. Within two minutes, Kevin was loaded on the gurney and the EMTs were almost sprinting back down the stair.

Beckett took a moment and stared around the room. A few feet to her right, a stain of blood trickled down the wall, though it was nothing compared to the veritable puddle left by Ryan. The door to observation next door slammed shut and Kate jumped, breath catching raggedly in her chest. _Not now, damn it, not now. Get it under control. You can break down and panic when everyone is safe. Come on. Breathe._ Forcing her eyes open and clenching her rattling hand, Kate sped out of the interrogation room.

Gates was mobilizing a group of officers as Kate passed.

"Sir, what happened?"

"The elevator stopped. We're not sure if Detective Esposito or Mr. Johnson are still inside but it's currently caught between the second and ground floors. I have a team working on getting power back into in and a second string to be on Johnson as soon as Esposito's clear."

"Captain Gates," a tech called from across the room, "We have power to the elevator, it's just now reaching the ground floor."

"Alright people let's move." The group Gates had been briefing ran for the stairs, Kate and the Captain right behind them.

"Beckett, I want you to stay back until Johnson's secure."

"But sir-"

"That's an order detective. You don't have a weapon and you're physically incapacitated. Stay back." Gates drew her gun and continued to pound down the stairs with the other, half crouched and ready for fire. Kate decelerated to a slow, painful jog and stayed a floor behind them until she reached to bottom.

The lobby was empty of Gates' task force so Kate continued through to the small knot of people gathered near the elevator. It was only when she got closer that she noticed the feet. An officer was already calling the hospital, requesting another ambulance for a barely conscious Esposito.

Beckett pushed frantically through the group until she knelt next to Javi's head. To add to the slash across his cheek and the bruise already blooming around his eye, a long, wide gash slanted from his hairline down to chop his eyebrow in two.

"Hey, Espo, they're calling a bus, should be here any second."

"Couldn't shoot me." he rasped.

"What?"

"Johnson. Couldn't shoot me. Chickened out. I..."

"Okay, Javier, it's okay. Just..."

He gripped the hand she held out to him, "Ryan."

"They've got him. I don't know..." She suddenly felt utterly helpless as dull panic overran Espo's eyes and blood pumped still more furiously from his forehead. Someone pressed a hand towel to her shoulder and she pried her fingers away from his to press it to the wound. He winced and pulled away groggily but she kept up the pressure and he let her, biting back a groan.

"Lanie's gonna be there when you get there, Javi." Everyone else had backed off, letting Beckett handle her injured partner.

He groaned and barely cracked his eyes, "Damn girl, you told her?"

"You'd want to know, wouldn't you? If it was her?"

"I don't want her to worry any more than she already does. Ever since you and Castle got snatched," He gritted his back teeth in pain and closed his eyes, "She's been terrified at night... Don't tell her I told you."

"Fuck," Kate whispered, heart thudding achingly hard against her cracked ribs and stitches, "Javi, I'm so sorry, I-"

The arrival of Mt. Sinai EMTs for the second time that day, cut her off as they shunted her away from Esposito and loaded him up. They were gone quicker than they'd come and Beckett was left to deal with the officers and workers from the lobby bombarding her with questions.

She must have said "I don't know," a thousand times before the sound of her named interrupted the scene.

Alexis, Martha, and Castle were all jogging toward her through the oceans of people. Kate pushed her way through and caught Alexis first, not caring about the pain that flared through her as she squeezed the girl tight.

"I am so sorry I put you in the middle of this Alexis. I'm so sorry." She stroked the girl's as Alexis let out a stuttering breath.

"It's okay. Are Ryan and Esposito...?"

"They'll be okay." Kate pushed her to arms length only to hug her again, "I truly am sorry. I will do my best to never do that again. It was completely irresponsible and... I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Kate." Though Alexis clung to her more tightly still.

"Darling, what happened?" Martha asked, squeezing Kate's shoulder as she let go of Little Castle for real.

"I don't know. I just got the call that Ryan and Esposito were in trouble and I was the only one that the guy would talk to. It's just continuing from the case we were working. We thought it was wrapped up but things just keep spiraling out of control."

"And where are Ryan and Esposito?" Martha's hand slid down Kate's arm to grip her hand.

"Mt. Sinai. Ryan got shot in the thigh and Espo's got a couple gashes on his face. Gates got a task force to go after Johnson but..." Kate avoided Castle's intense gaze, not ready for all that she knew she'd see there, so her eyes remained trained on the ground.

"Dear, we need to get you home."

"No. No, we can't... Johnson's made threats and... It's not safe." Blowing out a sigh and steeling herself she glanced up to meet Castle's eyes. _Ouch._ Everything ranging from anger to love to all out terror was brewing behind his eyes. _And I caused it. God, Castle I'm so sorry. I love you I never meant to make you feel this way, I'm so sorry._ "Castle."

He cut her off, crushing her to his chest and growling in her ear, "Never. Ever. Do that to me again. Ever." His voice cracked and it was only then that she realized that he was trembling every bit as much as she was.

She turned her head and pressed her lips to his shoulder, "I'm so, so sorry." His fingers knotted in her hair as hers combed over his scalp.

They clung to one another for a moment before she backed out of his embrace, tangling just their fingers, "We need to get to the hospital... Everyone needs to ... go. Get out of the city for a little bit. I need to talk to the boys."

Alexis and Martha nodded mutely and Castle squeezed her hand.

"Hey, Pete." She called across the room to the evening lobby clerk. He jerked around and cocked an eyebrow.

"Tell Gates we went to Sinai if she needs us, okay?"

"Roger that Detective. Be careful."

"And you."

"I parked up the street, come on." Castle led the way out of the precinct. Kate ushered Martha and Alexis ahead of her, twisting her head back to look for Johnson or Gates' team but they were nowhere to be found.

"So what happened?" Alexis asked timidly from the back where she and Martha had insisted on sitting. Castle was behind the wheel, grinding his teeth and weaving in and out of traffic.

"I don't know. I got there and Ryan was shot in the leg and our suspect had Esposito smashed against the wall. I just...I need to know what they know."

"Can we please not talk about this?" Castle growled, accelerating quickly to squeeze in behind a blue Prius that had just been cut off by a white sedan.

The three women were stunned into silence at his tone but nodded mutely and Kate laid her hand on his arm. He moved his hand from the gearshift to the steering wheel and her hand fell away. The silence and her heart became even heavier.


	16. Chapter 16

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**Please don't hate me. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I"M SO SORRY! More drama in my life, rehearsal for Macbeth, Finals and going back and forth between my parents and writer's block has destroyed my ability to write but here's one. I hope it's good. It's not as long as I'd hope but hopefully the next one will be. Let me know what you think, maybe please! Also if you get my forcedly subtle (They were MILE more blatant but I thought it took away from the story so I dialed them back some) allusions to other shows TELL MEEE :)**

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 16

The emergency room waiting area at Mt. Sinai was already full to bursting when they arrived but the tearful questions from Jenny and Lanie's shrieking at Kate made it even more claustrophobic.

"I don't have any idea what happened." Kate murmured, pulling Lanie into an awkward one armed hug and gripping Jenny's hand, "I just thought, if it was me, I'd want to know ASAP so."

"No, thank you for calling. They just won't give us any answers." Jenny squeezed her hand.

"Javier Esposito?" a slim, young doctor had just entered from behind the ominous double doors, staring apprehensively around the waiting room.

Lanie leapt around and grabbed Kate's elbow, "Yes. I..." Lanie actually faltered (a rare occurrence) and Kate stepped up.

"We're his partners."

The doctor stared around at the group, a harried looking, injured mystery writer, two nervous looking red-heads, a nearly crying blonde, a clearly hurt and frazzled detective and an ME in near hysterics.

"I... alright. Well his cheek was cracked, just beneath the gash which made for an interesting fix. He also has a second laceration on his forehead, resulting in a fair concussion. With some rest and antibiotics and making sure that his stitches don't get infected. He should be just fine."

Lanie sighed and leaned into Kate's shoulder, "Oh thank God. When can I see him?"

"I can take you in two at a time now if you like."

Kate nudged Lanie forward, "I'll check in later." Lanie shot her a smile and hurried after the doctor.

"Wait, please." Jenny tottered after them a few steps, "The detective they brought in a few minutes before Esposito. Is there anything you can tell me about him?"

"And you are?"

"His wife."

The doctor checked her chart, flipped a couple pages and nodded to herself, "Well, Mrs. Ryan, the impact of the bullet was close enough to his femur to cause a fracture. It's hairline, not too serious but he'll need antibiotic before he leaves. He lost a lot of blood so we're giving him a transfusion now. You should be okay to take him home in a few hours."

Beckett squeezed Jenny's hand as the woman's knees trembled and she covered a sob with her other hand.

"What room is he in?" Kate asked as Jenny got a hold of herself.

"347." the doctor gave her another tight smile and then beckoned Lanie to follow. They disappeared around the corner and Jenny wiped her cheeks fiercely.

"Go on, Jenny," Kate nudged her toward the door.

"Thank you Kate." She hugged the detective hard before stumbling toward the hall. They watched until Jenny disappeared and then a hand closed over her uninjured arm and tugged her away from Martha and Alexis and down the hall opposite the direction Jenny had gone.

"Castle, what the hell-"

"I'm asking the same thing, Kate. What the hell!" She couldn't decipher her tone. Hurt, anger, fear.

"I was the only one Johnson's brother would-" Castle cut her off again and backed her against the wall.

"So you thought it'd be a good idea to go off and leave me? Do have any idea how terrified I was, after everything we've been through, to wake up and to see Alexis looking so scared. Do you know how far my heart dropped when I didn't know where you were? And what about leaving my kid with the responsibility of telling me you'd gone AWOL, panicking when you texted her? She was terrified and trying to take care of us. Why would you do that to her?" Kate's eyes welled up and she stared back at Castle.

"Castle, I never wanted to scare you or hurt you or put Alexis in this. God, she's," She croaked as her throat caught and she tossed back her head to fight off the tears, "I've already caused her hell and almost taken you away from her so many times and... I didn't want to hurt her. But all I could think about was Ryan and Espo trapped in that tiny room and him and that I didn't want them to be someone else that died for this case."

A tear dripped treacherously down her cheek and she wiped it away clumsily, "I am so sorry I scared you. You guys are some of the most important people in my live and I would never ever mean to. But I'm not sorry I went."

She cleared her throat, wiped her face again and walked back into the waiting room, settling herself in one of the free chair next to Alexis. The girl smiled tightly and patted Kate's arm.

"He was really scared. He's just... over-reacting."

Kate reached across her bad arm and gripped Alexis' hand, "No, he was completely right. I can understand."

"He just loves... everyone so much."

"I know. It'll be okay, Alexis."

Moments later, Castle shuffled in and sunk into the chair on Kate's other side. Wordlessly, he took her free hand and wove his fingers between hers.

XXX

A quarter of an hour later, Lanie supported Javier out into the ER waiting area. Alexis had drifted off against Martha's arm and Castle was absently drawing patter on the back of Kate's hand. Every now and then, it was something concrete and she'd smile tightly to soothe his nerves and tell him what he'd drawn. Then he'd grin back somewhat nervously as if he were afraid she was only barely forgiving him for his outburst earlier.

He didn't need to worry though. There was nothing to forgive for her. She understood why he was upset, she knew what she'd done was wrong and he had every right to be angry with her. Every time he smiled that scared smile, she's squeeze his hand and turn back to stare at the bay doors, waiting for one of her partners to come out.

"Espo," Beckett leapt to her feet, abdomen jerking painfully.

Castle caught her elbow and nudged her toward the couple.

"Hey girl. How's it hangin'?" Javi quipped but his usual vibrato fell flat. He winced at any movement in his face and his right eye was swollen almost shut.

"Javi, what happened?"

"I dunno, You'll have to ask Ryan. I was workin' out because he took longer to get there and I got antsy. So Ryan texted me when he got there and I was in such a hurry that I didn't even think about my gun or badge or anything. Just changed, threw my workout clothes in my locker, and came up to the room. As soon as I came in, he kicked the table into Ryan's stomach, grabbed his gun, shot him and had me against the wall before I could say anything." No one missed the way Lanie pressed closer to his side or how he held her there, hand fisting in the sleeve of her blouse.

"Shit." Kate pinched the bridge of her nose and pressed her eyes closed. They needed a plan, something. A safe house.

"What's the plan, Beckett?" Lanie asked and Kate's eyes flew open.

"Can you call Gates? Tell her that we need 3 details for about 30 minutes each. One stays with you two, one with Jenny and Ryan and one goes with us. You go to your houses. 15 minutes each. Pack as much as you'll need." Kate turned to Castle, "Pen and paper?"

"Why do you assume-" He started but she gave him a look and he quickly fumbled out a mini notebook and pen and pressed it into her good hand but she gave it back.

"I write it they won't be able to read it." She brandished her clunky right arm and he took it back and quickly jotted down two copies of what she hissed in his ear.

"Meet us here as soon as you can." Kate tore one of the papers from Castle's hand's and folded it into Lanie's. Esposito glanced over it and looked back to Beckett.

"You think it's a good idea to put us all in one place if he's after-"

"3 injured cops in one place with their loved ones is better than 3 little groups of us. We're all weak and if he comes after one of us on our own..." She trailed off, letting Espo fill in the rest. He did and nodded brusquely, cringing involuntarily at the pain in his face.

"You're right."

"Of course I am," she winked, "Call Gates and tell her about the details and then ditch them as soon as you're leaving the city." She looked back and forth between the two who nodded and she jerked her head, "See you soon then."

They shuffled away together and Kate ran her good hand through her hair.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Castle murmured, looping an arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"No, but it's the best I've got so."

"Big group is better than small ones I guess."

"I just hope I'm not making us one huge, easy target."

XXX

Their conversation with Ryan didn't go nearly as well. He was dipping in and out of consciousness, pain drugs and antibiotics making him groggy and slow but they somehow got the seriousness of the situation across. Jenny looked terrified but determined as Kate pressed the paper with information into her hand and explained it all.

"Do one of us need to go with you?" She'd asked, eying Ryan skeptically.

Some kind of fiery strength caught in Jenny's eyes and she wove her fingers tightly through Kevin's and lifted her chin, "No. I can take care of this. We'll be fine and see you there."

Kate nodded curtly and squeezed the woman's arm before hustling Castle out the door. As it shut they heard Jenny trying to get Ryan ready to go as he slurred, "God you're so pretty. I love you soooooo much. Let's make pretty Irish babies together."

XXX

"Dad... Yeah, well... You just need to... Remember Mom's great aunt's ranch house just south of the Adirondacks? Kind of in the middle of nowhere?... No... Yes I know it's been abandoned for years. That's the point... I know you just got back but you need to go there... Today, as soon as possible... No... Dad I'll explain everything when we get there... I promise... Jenny, Ryan, Lanie, Espo, and Castle's family are going to be with us there... Just pack what you'll need, maybe some food and blankets... Okay I love you too... Be careful." Kate ended her call and dropped her head back onto Castle's arm which was stretched out behind her. She and Castle were snug in the back seat of the car as Alexis drove them toward Kate's apartment, Martha joining her in the front.

"He going to be there?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah. Yeah he'll probably beat us there." Alexis slammed to a halt outside her building and Kate clambered out, Castle squeezing out in her wake.

"Where are you going?"

"With you. I'm not leaving you alone." He grabbed her hand but she shook him off.

"Castle, time is of the essence here. There are three of you that need to get stuff from your house and one of me here. I'll be done by the time you get there and be there as soon as possible?"

"You said no more splitting up." He murmured, stepping in.

"I know," she was getting titchy, exposed on the sidewalk as they were. She could see two members of the protective detail waiting just inside her building but still... it felt wrong out in the open. No one was sure what Johnson was capable of and she hated the uncertainty.

"We'll be apart 20 minutes tops. I promise, I'll be there as soon as I can be, okay?" She pressed up, kissed him hard and fast and then shoved him back into the car and slammed the door. It pulled away and his face was lost in the glare from the glass in the half light cast by the clouds.

"I really appreciate you doing this, Diaz," Beckett muttered, as she walked in, past the detail who fell in to flank her a couple feet back, "You too, McRuther."

"What we're here for, Beckett. We're all a team." Diaz pressed the up button for the elevator and the three of them slipped inside.

"We sent Williams, Francis, Graham, Bishop, and Donevon over to Castle's. They'll take good care of them." McRuther's deep, gravelly voice gave her a sense of calm that she didn't think she was capable of manufacturing.

"And White, Rodriguez, Pierce, and Elliot are with Ryan. Gallegar, Ball, Jackson, and Carlson got sent with Esposito."

Kate nodded. All great teams. They'd take care of her people. Why should she worry?

Diaz and McRuther's exited the elevator first, hands firmly attached to the guns at their hips.

"Clear." Beckett ducked out of the elevator and scuttled to the door of her apartment, opening it swiftly and letting Diaz enter before her. McRuther went right and checked out the kitchen and bathroom while Diaz cleared the rest of her apartment. Only when it was abundantly clear that there was no one else was in the apartment did they let Kate advance past the closed front door.

"Think you can be ready in ten?" Diaz asked, manning the front window.

"Absolutely."

"Need any help with anything, Beckett?" McRuther gestured to her braced right arm.

"I've got it, thanks."

It took a moment for her to get a good enough grip on the handle of her suit case and it hurt like hell trying to lug it onto her bed one handed, but Beckett managed and promptly started throwing in anything within reach. A couple of pairs of boots, a set of running shoes, two pairs of yoga pants, two pairs of jeans, most of her underwear, socks, and bras, a handful of long sleeve shirts, sweaters, a few t-shirts and tank tops. Next went shampoo, conditioner, a brush, deodorant, perfume, and lotion. She threw in an extra soft blanket on top of everything.

Her mind whirred at 1000%. _Medication at Caslte's, some other clothes, I have instant coffee, there's a wood stove there and a generator... Computer! Phone charger! Coffee Pot, travel mugs, any food I have? Whoa breathe Kate. Castle will bring his laptop. Use his. Phone charger is by the bed. The coffee pot, travel mug and food can go in a separate bag. Calm down. Everything will be fine._

Even in her own mind it sounded weak but she added the charger to her suitcase and crammed it closed, wincing as she tugged it down off the bed and it jerked her good shoulder.

"About ready, Beckett?" Diaz asked, sticking his head in cautiously.

"I need like 3 minutes in the kitchen."

"You got it."

Anxiety swirled in her stomach as she yanked the two recycled plastic mugs from Castle from her shelf. Johnson had just disappeared. Poof! Vanished. A strike team couldn't track him. Why hadn't he resurfaced yet? She almost wished he's bust through the front door and take her out. Anything to protect the people she loved.

Vanilla instant coffee joined the mugs along with a box and a half of wheat thin, some graham crackers, a bar of dark chocolate, five packs of Raman, and a bag of sour gummy worms that she knew Castle was sure to tease her about. As an afterthought, she tossed in a brand new bag of clementines and zipped the second bag.

"Okay. Let's go."

She winced as the strap of her second bag bounced against her stomach and her shoulder clicked at the drag of her suitcase.

"Need a hand there, Beckett?" McRuther murmured as Diaz cleared the hallway once again.

"I got it, thanks." She gritted out but the senior officer gave her an appraising look and tugged the food bag over her head gently.

"My mother told me to never let a lady carry the whole load." he winked down at her and hung it over his shoulder in a manner that wouldn't block access to his gun.

"Thanks, McRuther."

"Just want you back, safe and on the mend, Beckett. With our best team out of commission, Gates is gonna be kickin' all our asses to keep up with your close rate." he nudged her gently out the door to follow Diaz.

"You'll be just fine without us," She assured him, smiling at the older man as the elevator doors slid shut.

XXX

Tension mounted in the car ride to Castle's. Fear of not knowing the situation at the loft created a pit of nerves in her stomach that pressed painfully on her stitches. She was out of the car before it had stopped in front of Castle's building. Darkness had fallen and a light, icy mist had started. McRuther had her second bag again as she dragged the suitcase behind her, nodding back at Diaz who was keeping the car running.

"I'm sure you're writer is just fine, Beckett." He grunted as they got in the elevator. She realized that she was fiddling endlessly with the cuticles of her right hand.

"What?"

"Castle. How long have you two...?"

"What? We're not-" She drew up short at the look he gave her and she dropped her head.

"Am I that obvious?"

"I think it'd be harder to tell if the situation were different."

"You won't.."

"Secret's safe with me. I like havin' Castle around the precinct. Plus his coffee machine is heaven compared to the shit that other old thing spits out."

Kate shot him a grateful look as the elevator chimed and he stepped out first.

"We're clear here," she heard Donovon call and McRuther ushered her out and to the door. Donovon and Francis inclined their heads and she flashed back a tight smile as they opened the front door. Castle was flitting around the kitchen, muttering to himself as Bishop stood by the window. Beckett nodded to the young, blonde woman and set down her suitcase.

"Castle."

He spun around sharply at the sound of her voice, winced horribly and grabbed the counted and stumbled toward her. She met him half way, catching his cheek in her good hand.

"Hey, careful th-" the rest of her sentence was cut off by his lips, hard and heavy against hers, his tongue slipping between the seam of her lips before she could get her bearings. She pulled away from the kiss gently, touching her forehead to his, "You're okay? Everything was-"

"Everything is fine. I thought he was at your-"

"I'm fine. Everything is okay. Everyone almost ready?"

As if in answer, Alexis and Officer Graham traipsed down the stairs followed closely by Williams and Martha.

"Your medication is in my bag." He said over his shoulder, hurrying to help Alexis with her bag but she batted his hand away and dragged it down the stairs herself. The three officers led the way out of the loft and the four of them had a guard of six as they returned to Castle's car.

"Gates wants an update on your situation every 8 hours. She said calling, no texts unless it's an emergency." Bishop helped them load their bags into the trunk as she relayed the instructions to Beckett while the other five kept watch, "When he's been caught, she'll call with the all clear and you'll be okay to come back."

"Thanks, Bishop, all of you, for doing this." Kate nodded to them appreciatively and they grumbled back a response.

Taking a deep breath, Kate wrested the keys from Castle with only minor difficulty ("How would you know where we were going?") and they were loaded up and gone minutes later.


	17. Chapter 17

**For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.**

**I'm the worst. I know I'm the worst. I'm so sorry I'm the worst. Things have just freakin' exploded and then this story decided that it didn't want to be written. I've lost where I'm going with this so I've decided to end this story. I might write a sequel to bring it all back together but... I don't' know, what do you guys want? I know this is ending kind of abruptly but I decided that it'd be better if I ended it now in a way I was comfortable with than drag this out to where it's not good and everyone hates it. Thank all of you wonderful people for bearing with me while I stumbled through writing this out and for all of your support. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Leave me your thoughts, critiques, if you want a sequel, anything. Again Thank you and I'm sorry and I really hope you enjoy this final chapter. I love you all! **

**Thanks,**

**M:)**

**XXX**

**White Blank Page**

Chapter 17

They drove for an hour and a half straight before Castle's puppy like bladder forced a pit stop at a gas station. As they got out of the car, Kate glanced back. Martha and Alexis were fast asleep, the girl leaned in her grandmother's lap. Her breath caught and Castle turned and looked through the window in time to catch her expression.

"Hey." he was around the car in seconds, pulling her face gently around, thumb skirting under the bruising, "No, don't go there. You're keeping them safe."

"It's my fault-" she choked.

"No. No. You were doing your job and these people, it's their fault. Mother knows that, Alexis knows that. You're keeping them safe." His forehead knocked against hers, blue eyes sparking in the crappy half-light that was leaking from the gas station.

"I'm so sorry." She murmured, the tips of her fingers tracing his lips.

"No. Stop. Don't be sorry." He caught her lips roughly, tried to kiss the pain from her body, from her heart, but it just made the tears build behind her eyes. She tore her lips away and ducked her head.

"Go pee, Castle. Grab a couple drinks or snacks or whatever. But hurry." He sighed, kissed her again and then ducked into the convenience store.

XXX

It was another two hours before they were turning down a long, winding, hidden drive. Kate's eyes felt droopy and itchy, head foggy and slightly tippy, but Castle's fiddling with her fingers where they stuck out of the brace kept her focused.

"This it?" he whispered.

"You needn't whisper dear, we're awake." Kate glanced in the rear view mirror and caught Alexis' groggy half smile.

"Yeah this is it. The driveway's a couple miles long." She gritted her teeth as the car bounced over another pothole, jarring every bone in her body and causing the pain that was slowly creeping into her consciousness, to double. From the slight tightening of Castle's grip, she could tell that he was experiencing the same thing.

"How long has it been since anyone's lived here?" Castle asked.

"Well Mom's Great-aunt Jane passed away when I was six but her son and my grandmother moved in. My uncles use it every now and then for when they go hunting or things like that. But otherwise... about twelve years. It should be in good shape though. The family's kept it up and safe. No one just comes out here regularly, though. There are five rooms and a couple fold out couches, three bathrooms... Hot water heater should still work..."

"I'm sure it will be just fine, darling." Martha murmured.

They bounced down the road in silence for another few minutes before the headlights glared off the side of a maroon truck.

"My dad beat us here," A second car was tucked behind the first, discreet, dark, "Looks like Espo and Lanie did too." Kate parked beside them and they all piled out of the car, pulling their bags out of the back and traipsing toward the front door.

It swung open as they approached and Jim stepped out.

"Good to see you all made it safely. What's going on, Katie?" He took her suitcase, ignoring her protests, and ushered them inside.

Great Aunt Jane's house had been vacant for almost twelve years but the memories of Kate's childhood still clung to the walls. To the right of the door was the spacious living room, outfitted with a fireplace (where a flame crackled cheerily, contrasting everything about their situation), couch, love seat and an easy chair that Kate could almost see her grandfather reclined in. Across from the living room was a small study that had always been off limits to the kids of the family and next to it, the kitchen with attached dining room. Two of the smaller bedrooms and a bathroom sat at the far left side of the lower floor. On the opposite side, between the living room and the study, was the stairs that spiraled up to the second floor. A library filled to the brim with leather bound volume and a reading nook next to a window stood to the right of the stairs and a bathroom was to the left. Three more bedrooms and the third bathroom made up the rest of the top floor.

"Hasn't changed much, has it?" Kate murmured to her father as they followed him into the living room.

"A few new spider friends but other than that, no." Jim set Kate's bag down and turned back to take Alexis' from her. The red head smiled blearily at Kate's father and he patted her shoulder.

"So what's happening Katie? Why are we all here?"

They were interrupted by Lanie and Esposito stumbling in from one of the rooms on the first floor. Javi's face looked even worse than it had four hours before if that were possible and Lanie was still clinging to his hand. Neither looked like they were going to be letting go any times soon.

"Everything good with you guys?" Espo asked, pulling Lanie down into his lap as he sunk onto the loveseat.

"Fine, you guys?"

"No problems," Lanie murmured, plucking at Javier's fingers where they'd come to rest on her thigh.

"Anyone heard from Ryan?" Castle asked, leading his mother and daughter in sitting on the couch as Jim took one of the armchairs near the fireplace.

"Called him a couple hours ago. He said he and Jenny had just left. Then he started talking about this fly that was in the car with them and how funny it was so Jenny took the phone. Said they should be here soon."

Kate nodded but kept up a steady pace behind the couch, worrying her lip until it bled.

"Katherine Beckett, if you do not explain to me what is going on-" Jim started but Kate rounded on him and spat out a quick explanation.

"Guy who kidnapped Castle and me, he was schizophrenic, diagnosedly. His brother's a cop. The brother's girlfriend killed her brother a couple years back, I was the one that sent her away, she died in prison recently, the brother was using his brother to hurt Castle and me but when that failed, he killed his brother," she paused there and turned to Esposito, "Did anyone ever check the-"

"-Security tapes? Yeah, they magically turned off for about twenty minutes, techs don't know how but I'm pretty sure it's a safe bet he did it."

Kate gestured to Javi and continued, "Killed his brother and now he's just out for blood against us and I figure we're all safest together."

Jim stared at her for a few moments and dropped his head, "But there are people looking for him? A team? Surely your captain-"

"He was in Special Forces, Dad. I'm sure he knows how to go to ground and stay hidden."

"He won't be found until he wants to be." Esposito affirmed and the tension mounted in the room even higher.

There was silence except for the crackling of the fire and a slight whisper of the wind. Kate's pacing continued, which didn't do anything to calm the rest of the room's occupants down. Alexis was drifting off again against Castle's shoulder while Martha picked at her nails nervously. Jim stoked the fire and Lanie and Javi whispered back and forth on the couch. Waiting for the Ryans was getting unbearable.

Finally, Kate couldn't take it anymore and stalked off to the kitchen, dragging her second bag behind her. Most of the cobwebs had been swept away and counters looked clean enough. The old fridge vibrated and hummed angrily in the corner and most of the clouding had been scrubbed from the faucet. Her father had clearly been busy since he'd arrived.

She hauled the bag up onto the counter and tugged the zipper open. The bag of clementines was the first to be removed, tossed unceremoniously into the fridge, which was also occupied by bag of sugar snap peas, eggs, half a jug of milk, two sticks of butter, a container of Chinese takeout, a mostly full jar of salsa, a bag of cheese, and a handful of apples. The fridge growled its protest as she kicked it shut, but she toed the grate near the bottom and it quieted some. The cabinets above the counter, in between the sink and the stove, were already claimed by even more Ramen than she had brought (the Chicken flavor was a dead giveaway for Esposito; it was a staple of his diet) an already opened can of almonds, a new bag of tortilla chips, a half eaten jar of peanut butter, two boxes of mac'n'cheese, and some instant rice.

She almost smiled, knowing exactly who had brought what, before adding her contribution to the mix.

"Wow, you brought the whole kitchen, huh?" Kate whirled at the voice, but it was just Castle, holding up his food bag in offering.

She snorted and relaxed back against the counter, massaging the bridge of her nose momentarily, "I think I left some super old take out, maybe a tomato. I was going to go shopping last week but..."

"Yeah." Something seemed to clog both of their throats and Castle set his bag on the island in the center of the kitchen to come wrap himself around Kate, left arm going around her shoulder to avoid the still tender knife wound and cracked rib and her squeezing around his middle was more gentle than either of them wanted.

She pulled away first, suddenly antsy again and reached for his bag, but pausing when he covered her hand.

"Keep in mind that while I was packing this, my brain was about thirty other places."

She chucked, "Yeah sure, okay." The first thing out of the bag was a can of spray whipped cream.

She cocked an eyebrow and turned to him.

"I told you. Plus I always have it around. When Alexis was maybe seven she had a really nasty cold, knocked her out for three days. She was getting sick of ice cream and soup and just grouchy and sickly. So when Mother came to watch her for a few hours, I went to the store and got some little dinosaur figurines and a can of whipped cream just for her. The next day, she was miles better and she swears to this day that it's the spray whipped cream."

Kate couldn't stop her smile at his story as she stowed the whipped cream in the door of the fridge.

"That's sweet, Castle." She murmured.

"Literally!" He chirped, seemingly pleased with himself.

She turned deliberately, making sure he caught her eye roll, "Come on, Writer Boy. You can do better than that."

"I'm operating under stressful circumstances, doesn't that count for something?"

She tossed a dripping bag of previously frozen peas from the bag and chased it when a block of cheese, "I suppose we can let it slide."

"Oh, you are most gracious and kind," he handed her an avocado and a stalk of broccoli and then nudged the door of the fridge shut.

A can each of pinto, black, and navy beans joined the other foods in the cabinets along several boxes of tea until finally they were left staring at the only item left in the bag. A pair of squat, round, light pink candles.

"What..."

"I may or may not have put those in the fridge at one point while I was packing... I don't remember putting them in here though..."

He was spared any sassy comment she might have lobbed his direction by three timid knocks on the front door. Castle and Beckett both froze and any quiet murmurings that had been coming from the living room had ceased immediately.

Esposito met them, slightly hunched, in the walk way of the front door as they all crept up to the door. Realistically, Kate knew it was the Ryans. They all knew it. But every tiny noise sounded like a bomb blast, a smattering of gunshot.

Being furthest ahead, Kate peered out the peep hole cautiously and let out a breathe she didn't realize she'd been holding and swung the door wide. Ryan had on a huge camping backpack, unable to carry anything because of the crutches propped under his arms and Jenny dragged another couple of bags behind her.

"Bro, what took you so long?" Javi took Jenny's bags and ushered them into the living room. Kate and Caste shut and re-locked the door as they followed.

" Rodriguez and White met us at the hospital to take us home but Pierce and Elliot called on the way and said a guy matching Davis' description had been hanging around our building so we had to drive around for almost an hour before Pierce and Elliot got close enough to see that it wasn't him." Ryan groaned as he sank onto the couch, dropping his crutches and causing them all to flinch at the noise.

"Sorry," he murmured, head lolling into Jenny's side where she perched on the arm of the couch. Her fingers carded gently through his hair and he hummed quietly at her attention. Javi sank back to the love seat, his arm looping back over Lanie who rested a hand on her thigh. There was silence save the crackling of the fire.

The weight of the whole situation seemed to fall on Kate all at once. They, all nine of them, were on the run, hiding from an idiot with a vendetta and no regard for anything other than his revenge. They'd been driven from their homes because she, Kate, had condemned a man's lover to death. It had been the right thing to do, all the evidence had pointed to Mariane Cunningham as the killer and she truly believed it but... now... it all seemed less important with every person she loved in danger. Her throat closed up as she watched them. This wasn't right. There had to be something she could do.

"So." Kate was pulled from her thoughts by her father's voice, "Now what, Katie?"

She took a deep breath and looked around. Eight pairs of eyes blinked back at her. Her family. Exhausted and scared, bruised and battered, either by sleepless nights, guns, tazers, agonizing worries, knives, combat, trauma from what seemed like a life time ago. They were all damaged. But as she looked at them all, a sudden wave of positivity surged through her. They would all be okay. Because that was what they all did. They survived.

The world steadied a bit as Castle's fingers slipped between hers and he gave them a reassuring squeeze.

"Now we wait."


End file.
